I have a friend, she’s American and is getting married this summer, in Croatia (her mother’s family is from there). It’s going to be a 3-day long ceremony with several dinner nights and parties, so I wonder how much money for the gift do you usually bring on a wedding like this? I am coming from Serbia so I cannot exactly bring as much as an American would, and they are not the kind of people who are throwing this only for the money, but I’m wondering which amout is acceptable so I don’t get embarrassed lol
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Usually you just bring a gift, not money lol. Money’s nice, but usually the wedding has a gift registry where you just pick a gift and buy it for them.
It depends on the crowd. I usually do $150-$200 on a gift from my wife and I, but have gone up to $300 in some cases.
Some people will tell you that whatever the plate at the wedding reception costs is what you should do though. If you’re trying to get by on the lower side, then $75 is probably not offensive.
$100 in a greeting card
Around $100-250 per couple is average in my circle, but usually we don’t expect so much money from people who would have to travel to get to the wedding
Since they pay for your meal at the reception, I usually like to at least cover that. I was shocked when I learned one meal we had at a wedding was $150 a plate. There were two of us, and I only gave the couple $200. I still feel like I should have done more.
But really, they just want you there, so whatever you do will be fine.
If you’re traveling internationally I don’t think a gift is even expected or required because of obvious significant travel expenses. If you’re local then around $75-100 person at minimum, more if you’re very close or family or can afford more.
Generally if you have to travel far for the ceremony the bridge/groom understand that the costs for a hotel, transportation are already being handled by you and they should appreciate that. Find a thoughtful but modest gift on their registry and purchase that.
Americans don’t throw weddings to get cash. That’s very much a tradition of the developing world.
There’s a tradition of giving gifts to help a young couple establish their home, and the couple will create a registry at one or more stores where they choose which items will be helpful and you choose from those items. Since it will be international, you’d have the gift shipped directly to their home.
Presenting a check or cash at the wedding is both gauche and logistically inconvenient, as the couple would have to keep up with it all and bring it all back with them on their travels and perhaps across multiple border crossings.
I don’t think her nationality matters. Give what you would give at any wedding.
My rule in the US is if I like you and it’s your first wedding I’ll go $100-200 on the gift. If you’re a super close friend I’ll go over $200.
If this is the second or third time we’ve done this i shoot for around $50.
Bringing cash money to a wedding is not a broad American thing. It would be considered somewhat crass, at least in the South or in Texas. Never saw it while living in California or Washington State. But it’s a big country.
Also, if you are travelling a great distance, many couples would consider your presence gift enough.
You might want to ask a sub of Croatians? As it might be a tradition there? But not so much in the US.
You give what you can. You don’t have to go crazy. You’ll be there, and that’s plenty.
Never give more than you can afford. If they have a registry, pick something off of that. If they don’t a lovely small amount is perfect.
ask if they are registered anywhere and if they are you can just buy something off the registry
$100
In my circle you have a bridal shower where physical gifts are purchased off of a registry. These are typically household items from a few stores and are shipped directly to the brides home if you aren’t attending the shower.
The wedding is a separate gift that is always cash or check. The rule of thumb in my circle is to cover your plate, but that can be difficult to know. My partner and I typically aim for the $100 mark as a wedding gift. In our circles travelling in/out of state doesn’t change the gift amount (even if we pay for the travel expenses).
So there are a lot of caveats but I usually give $100-$150 per guest. The very old and traditional custom is to pay what you think they paid for your plate. This mindset feels a little antiquated now but youll never be accused of not being polite if you follow it haha.
do they have a registry? The knot is a common one in the US and you can look up the couple. You can buy anything from the list and that’s acceptable but I would try to stay around $100. It feels like people prefer cash nowadays in the US and often have a place to send cash with the registry for a house fund or vacation fund or whatever they set up. The reason cash seems preferred is because people are living with their SOs and dating for much longer before getting married, so a lot of couples already have what they need and don’t need to stock up a new home with furniture and appliances and dishes.
did you have to travel or buy a specific dress (ie bridesmaid) or pay for wedding related expenses that are out of the ordinary? If so, you can get away with under $100. For example, i gave one of my friends $300 (i got a plus 1) who had a wedding very close to me, a bachelorette party that she drove me to and was exteemely cheap, and allowed me to pick my own bridesmaids dress. I paid my other friend $200 because my partner and i had to fly to her wedding, and her bach party was almost impossible to get to and cost me well over a thousand for like one day.
Wage dependent. But I’ve never seen anyone turn their nose up at a oner.
It depends on the couple. I’d say nothing lower than $50
This whole concept sounds foreign to me. I’ve heard of gift registries for young couples that don’t have their shit together yet. But I see so many people wanting weddings that cost in the tens of thousands. Why should you expect other people to fund your extravagant choices?
I’ve been invited to increasing amounts of weddings in which the couple have stated they’d prefer cash gifts as opposed to the “traditional” wedding registry approach. In that case, I usually gift 100-200USD depending on how close I am to them.
$10
Enjoy the wedding!
I live in an expensive place to be and to throw a wedding. Here, the expectation is about $300. I would say $100 per person is good. Cash is king. Whoever said giving cash is gauche is dead wrong.
Cash is preferred because it can go towards a house or honeymoon fund. The registry is also something to consider if they have one. But someone said that’s an American custom.
You can ask the couple their preferences if you’re close enough. Someone else said something about a small piece of art that is not easily obtained where they are. That sounds so nice.
Generally if there’s no gift registry or if I choose to bring a cash gift instead, I bring $100 per person. So for me, that would be $100 and $100 for my wife if we’re both going.
No gift if you travel from far away.
$0.00
$200 USD
I’m not sure that this is the best place to ask. A 3 day celebration is not something that is typical at all in the US. So your friend may be American, but she isn’t having an American wedding.
Is there a gift registry? I normally just get an item on the registry.
If you have to travel (more than a short car ride) and stay in a hotel, a gift should not be expected.
My first wedding, many of my guests had to travel and get accommodations as I lived 1000 miles away from most of my friends/family. My 2nd wedding, many guests traveled as well.
I did not expect gifts from people who had to travel and get hotels (although everyone gave gifts, it certainly wasn’t expected and I would not have been put off if they gave nothing)
It depends on how close you are with the friend. I’ve paid as little as $80 before, but I’d spend more if the relationship is closer.
Cover your portion of the cost of the event.
And wow, weddings are expensive
Three day long? Like two days of fun optional activities or three days of things you have to do. Because I feel like if you are required to give up three days, give $150. If it’s 3 days of fun, $200.
honestly, I’d give what is customary in Serbia.
Often Americans will have a Wedding Registry (theknot.com for instance) where you can buy things for the couple ahead of time rather than giving the gift at the wedding.
I usually do $300 – $500 for my partner and I. Don’t do registry stuff, people just return most of it for store credit
I would think you traveling so far would be gift enough. A nice card should do it.
If I am not buying off a registry. minimum 25 dollars though if not a physical gift. Yes that is in the low side but cash is cash.
You give as much as you can afford and feel comfortable with.
Non Relative $150. Relative $300. If you can afford it. If you are lower income, a thoughtful gift.
An easy rule of thumb — minimum it should pay for your meal and drinks, if you were paying for them at a restaurant, for yourself and your +1 if that exists.
I would say around $100.00 gift would be appropriate.
I’ve never given money as a gift for a wedding as an American. It’s not unheard of, but it’s definitely not expected. Does the couple have a wedding registry where you can purchase a gift in your budget? If not, just give them something traditional from your country – I know I would appreciate that! Sentiment is important, more so than money spent.
Just as context when I got married, locally, I think the average gift was around $40. But after reading what everyone else says is appropriate, I’m remembering my friends and family are poor.
If you have to travel for the wedding a small amount is appropriate. You said friend, not best friend, so I would give what ever amount you feel would cover the meal served.
I think some of the Americans in the comments are misunderstanding you, FYI. I believe you’re asking how much money as the gift, but Americans for whatever reason don’t usually gift cash, so they think you’re asking how much should the gift cost. Just remember to keep that in mind while reading the comments.
Gift what would be appropriate in your culture and currency. Don’t worry about how they’ll perceive it. They know you’re coming from Croatia and they know they’re having an international wedding, so anything they find strange they’ll just brush off.
You give what you can afford.
Money is not a usual wedding gift for Americans, unless the people getting married specifically ask for that. If they haven’t asked for money, I would ask them if they have a wedding gift registry?
Why don’t you see if there’s something small but local to you that you can bring instead? a unique thoughtful gift > cash (I mean small as in physical not in price but you do have to watch out for custom & other fees)
Ideally get something off their registry. If cash, minimally $100. That’s the American expectation. Maybe google Croatian norms and see how it differs if you want to lean that direction.
Disclaimer: There’s many cultures floating around America so this number could be much higher depending on which culture.
Literally just got back from my cousin’s wedding. We gave her $150.