Would you consider dating someone who has been single for a long time or would you consider it a red flag? If it is an issue for you, what sort of time frame would concern you? Single for a year? 2 years? 5 years? Etc
How off-putting is it when a potential partner has been single for a long time?
r/AskWomen
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Idgaf. It might even be a draw for me: they’re less likely to have recent exes who might pop up again and cause trouble.
But also, more generally, dating isn’t like job interviewing. I don’t know anybody who asks potential partners to explain the gap in their dating history.
Nope, not a turn-off at all. It’s a bonus actually because then I would be less likely to need to worry about lingering attachments to exes and all the childish, time-wasting nonsense that comes with that.
Of course I’d be curious to hear reasons for being single for a long while, especially since I’ve also faced very long stretches of being single (been single most of my adult life lol!) and it’s something we could both bond over.
Why would it be an issue for you, specifically?
I’ve been single for a long time. I have no plans to change that anytime soon. If I ever do decide to date again, that will be my decision, but for now I hear too many modern dating horror stories that I’d rather invest my free time and hard earned cash on myself and taking classes, learning new skills and hobbies and enjoying my life now that my kids are raised. Why the hell would I want to get involved in the mess that is relationships when I’m happy and financially free? If people being single and enjoying that is a red flag for you, I’d ask yourself what about being alone bothers you so much?
Not really an issue unless it’s like “I’ve been single because I’ve been in jail”.
Or something to that effect.
Not off putting, but I will admit that after being the “first serious relationship” for someone where he didn’t tell me I was his “first” until after we broke up (if you catch my drift), I don’t want to be the first for someone again. I don’t blame him for not telling me, I’m just not okay with being the first for multiple men.
I’m my current partner’s first girlfriend, he’s my 5th partner, it never occurred to me that it would be an issue. Idgaf about his dating history and he doesn’t care about mine. it’s not a big deal
I didn’t see how it would be a red flag, the red flag is when people aren’t single long enough imo People need to heal from past relationships and not jump into another one until they’ve fully healed imo
It took me 15 years after my divorce to date again. Men are typically very afraid of real intimacy and commitment after a bad break up, especially a divorce and the ones who date too soon after seem to be the ones who will gladly tell you they will never marry again or don’t want to fully commit. Those are the men that should have taken a few years off to heal.
Honestly would prefer it. People jump into shit way too fast after ending other relationships and it just gets messy.
It’s actually a green flag for me to have space between the sheets. Having ended things with an emotionally unavailable man, someone who jumps in and out of things is giving “emotional unavailability”.
Available, committed folks usually stay in one place for awhile and then let things cool when it ends so they can *process and heal*.
Not an issue. BIG issue if they just got out of a relationship.