I was walking around town listening to an audiobook with my earbuds when I spotted two pretty looking goth girls.
I didn’t think anything of it until I visited a pub an hour later and saw them again.
I considered approaching them and striking up a convo, but I didn’t want to bother them, nor would I even know what to say.
Which got me thinking: nowadays, how often are guys approaching women with absolutely 0 context?
Comments
Never.
When single, pretty often. You can usually tell in moments if they’re open to it or you’re being a bother.
Never only because my wife is the biggest cock block I’ve ever met in my life.
I talk to people all the time, including women. That’s the trick is to practice with everyone, not just women you’re interested in. When you get comfortable talking with people, then you can learn the art of discerning if there is interest for anything more.
I float some small talk now and then to see if there’s a vibe, but for the most part, cold approaching is about as desperate, annoying, and effective as handing out religious flyers on the sidewalk.
Once. I’ve done it exactly once. When I was 54.
I talked with two women in a store because I thought the age-appropriate one was cute. After a nice conversation that involved no hitting on her at all, I gave her my card and told her to text me if she wanted to continue the conversation. Three long weeks later, she texted me. We have been casually dating for over two years.
And yes, I have a card. I made it for job hunting years ago and had hundreds left over. So I use it when someone needs my contact info without putting it in their phone.
Never. That’s a great way to scare a stranger or ruin their experience of wherever they are when I approach. I cannot discern accurately between someone open to it or not, nor can I assess how attractive I am to the general public.
Like 7-Up:
I never have
I never will
All the time. Just keep it easy and simple. I’m not actually trying to get anything, so that makes it easier, but what happens is sometimes you wind up hanging a great convo. I also make a point of doing the same to guys, grandmothers, and dogs.
Somewhere between not at all and never.
I’m 36, I learned long ago that as a man, you don’t proceed into the intersection until you get the green light. Otherwise you’re just gonna get a ticket or possibly smashed from the blindside.
I don’t but I have years ago. Never felt like it was an issue but these days, I don’t have the time and I think the culture around approaching women has also changed.
Look. I’m a good looking dude, handsome, athletic etc.. I’ve never been good at talking to girls. I always feel like I’m autistic or something when I open my mouth I feel like I just sound stupid. They have never given me their number…
“Hey, I like your X”
Assuming you choose a non-creepy X
I’ve never been good at starting up conversations out and about.
I was better at bars but that usually was only a small window between not drunk enough and too drunk.
I don’t
All the time. Secret is that I just talk to them with zero interest in anything after talking. In my head I play a game where I pretend I’m not interested at all and just talk to them normally just to practice. Downside, this gets me nowhere. When I am actually interested, I sound like a bumbling idiot.
The other day I was having dinner alone at the market, this girl came over and asked if she can sit next to me. Then she asked what I was having and ordered the same. Then when I told her I was on a motorbike, she asked if I can give her a ride to her hotel. When we got there she invited me upstairs to “see her room.”
I was really impressed with how smooth she was, imagine if it was this easy for guys? As a girl she has basically a 99% success rate.
You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.
With an ice-cube
*ba da dum tsssssss*
( sorry not sorry )
I don’t cold approach anyone in public
Stone cold… Steve Audrey
I cold approach every so often, but the large majority of times ladies will give me signs to make a move. That or they’ll directly start a conversation. I’m not going around looking to make a move, but if its within the flow of things I’ll do it. Like if I notice a lady is following me around at the grocery/gym, maybe I’ll see what’s up.
Like once a year probably. It’s gotta be a really good situation or I just don’t care enough to bother.
Never have, never will.
Zero.
Because I have deep self esteem issues.
But I am a very good conversationalist and listener, just that my self hatred constantly tugs at my heart telling me that everyone would be better without me and that I don’t deserve their time or attention, like, who the fuck do I think I fucking am when I am just a loser?
Almost none.
But when I do it’s when I’m relaxed, look good and don’t really care for much except having a good convo.
I wish I had that confidence more but it’s fun when it happens.
When out in a social setting, try for at least once or twice depending how I feel (social battery). Shooters gotta shoot and fortune favors the bold
Nearly never. I have plenty of women approaching me on a regular basis, so, I have no need to approach.
Never
Never. It’s never been my style, during my man-slut phase.
Just strike up a conversation. I know that (some) men don’t cold approach bc “they’ve been told by women not to”. If you just a strike up a conversation, talk to them like normal people, it will not be weird. Like someone else said, compliment them – “cool hair/shirt/tattoos/etc”. If you were at a restaurant/bar, ask what they’d recommend, etc.
Every chance I get cause I’m 43 and look decent so I do this amazing thing called walking up and saying hello my name is what’s your name? It works almost everyday and close to Everytime.
Start with a genuine compliment, which will make it easier to elaborate on if she’s at least digging the conversation (clothes, tattoos, location, etc.)
Only done it twice once in high school once in community college
First sorta became a girlfriend it was an on and off thing, the second did become my girlfriend but it became long distance which I’ll never do again