How often do you compliment your significant other?

r/

Just reflecting on my relationship and trying to determine what’s normal. I feel like negative comments always stand out. My bf doesn’t like my hair color and thinks I am too greedy about money.

Whenever I am with his parents they always tell me I look pretty and stuff. I don’t think my bf had complimented my appearance in the last eight months of so. We’ve been together 2 years. I feel like I compliment him every time I see him. I am very attracted to him. Maybe it’s too much lol.

Does it kind of fizzle out for you? Maybe I should start questioning if he has lost attraction. My only other relationship was physically abusive and I feel like my ex complimented me a lot more lol. I can handle not getting compliments I’m just questioning things lol.

Comments

  1. liveandletlive00 Avatar

    Legitimately everyday

  2. Livingat7000 Avatar

    Whenever she deserves one…so every day

  3. chef_26 Avatar

    It’s different for everyone so the thing to look at is whether or not the amount/frequency has changed or whether it feels like it’s changed (the same compliment loses impact over time).

  4. Seiko_Work Avatar

    pretty often, a day hasn’t passed where i haven’t complimented or hyped my partner

  5. pinguinitox_nomnom Avatar

    Do his actions match his… no-compliment-for-eight month thingy? Because legitimately I would compliment my partner everyday, at least for one or two things

  6. Elle-Dot Avatar

    I would frequently speak life, love & light into my former situationship. He was never really receptive— I believe his ex always talked down on him. Figures.

  7. Same_Blacksmith9840 Avatar

    As often as I remember to. That sounds bad but I grew up in a sterile home where praise was extremely rare. Consequently, i got into adulthood and realized not only did I not know how to give compliments but I didn’t know how to take them, either. Always being self-deprecating when receiving one. It was my wife who rehabilitated me through this with the patience of a saint. She would say something like, “you look nice today. Now, say thank you and say something nice about me.” Over time it got to be much easier. I don’t deserve her.

  8. shrout1 Avatar

    I think she’s hot so I tell her that like all the time 🤣 We’ve been married for 13-1/2 years

  9. Significant_Guest809 Avatar

    Multiple times per day.

  10. hybridoctopus Avatar

    Not as often as I should.

  11. CatfreshWilly Avatar

    Pretty much multiple times daily lol but usually got brushed off due to what I assume was their insecurities at work. It was frustrating but didnt stop me from trying

  12. Reasonable-Glass-965 Avatar

    I completed my ex wife 5+ times a day and made an effort to come up with something new each day. Try to make them meaningful. Found out she never even noticed. Effort wasted on the wrong one I guess.

  13. JayFlown Avatar

    Depends how often I see a person. If we’re still just dating, she’s probably getting complimented as soon as I see her every time I see her.

    Once we’ve moved in together and I see her everyday, I’m probably not giving a compliment every day. But anytime I catch myself noticing her (whether it’s because she’s tried something different with her hair or makeup, or I notice a different expression I’ve never seen, or I notice she’s put in effort to looking nice, or maybe it’s just as simple as I catch her in perfect lighting and find myself bowled over by her), I’ll compliment her.

    And that’s just appearance stuff.

    I like to compliment partners on other things as much if not more than appearance. Being funny or being smart or being sweet or being supportive or being strong or having good taste in what she’s reading or watching. Or being good at something. Or caring enough to try hard at something she’s still learning. Anytime I notice something in that sort of department, I’ll compliment her.

    The only time in my life I found myself not giving compliments much is 2 different relationships. Both soured and didn’t last long once it became apparent to me how they were acting.

    One was a girl who just couldn’t take a compliment, she’d always turn it into a “you don’t really really mean that though” type of thing fishing for me to elaborate and compliment harder or maybe she was hoping I’d confirm her worst fears by saying “You’re right, I was just being nice.” I dunno, she was a mess, and it made me feel like I shouldn’t open that can of worms by ever complimenting her like I’d normally be inclined to.

    And then in another relationship, I was with someone who just straight up didn’t value my opinion. Not that I need someone to be hanging by a thread always seeking my approval, but it’s nice to feel like it still matters. I was with someone who clearly didn’t value compliments or approval from a person who loved her standing right in front of her as much as she valued the approval of random people online giving her likes and comments. Which conditioned me to stop complimenting her and stop noticing things worth complimenting. And finally to stop being with her altogether.