Long story short, had my first time with a guy. I gave him oral where he came, then had sex where I assume he came (inside but didn’t feel it?) And then I was giving oral again before he got a cramp.
He told me later on that sex wasn’t good and oral wasn’t good. That it was “still a blowjob though” and I guess I figured if he came, it meant that he didn’t hate it. He didn’t go soft at all and he has had sex before.
So is it possible for guys to cum multiple times but sex didn’t feel good for them? Just curious.
Edit to add: I won’t be able to respond to everyone. But,
Yes, he knew it was my first time. We talked about that and he knew that and was okay with that.
No he didn’t tell me what was wrong. Just that oral wasn’t as good as other women. Said even girls who couldn’t deepthroat still were better. I kept asking what I could do better and he said he didn’t know.
He said the sex was due to position and that perhaps another position would be better. But he did no foreplay, just rubbed on me and pushed inside. It didn’t hurt but I had nothing else to work me up down there.
No, he is not my boyfriend. I assumed we were dating and going towards that but that is another problem.
More or less, I was just curious how easy it was for a guy to cum at least twice if he told me that the sex wasn’t good. This was said to me a week after and that we couldn’t be a couple because the sex was so bad.
Comments
>So is it possible for guys to cum multiple times but sex didn’t feel good for them? Just curious.
Sure but this guy’s bad experience is his own fault. How are you going to read his mind what he wants? He came to you afterwards? No bueno.
Yea kinda like after the first time it’s harder to do it’s the second time because you gotta uhh like reload In a way and to do that u just gotta wait
Don’t waste your time on guys who are trying to neg you about sex. Be with somebody that you mesh with perfectly.
Usually takes a bit of time to be refilled so to speak. This guy sounds like a dick though. You can do better.
You gave him oral and he came. He was embarrassed about it (coming early )so then he tried to blame his lack of being able to come again on you.
Don’t waste your time on him. Anybody who values you will not throw shade or try to embarrass you. Sounds like he’s trying to throw you some guilt so you try again and get disappointed(again), or that he transfers his disappointment on you.
We cum even if sex is non-existent.
Guy is a loser. Bail.
The answer is a resounding yes.
That said, this guy is an utter douche and you deserve better. Drop him. Ghost him.
That guy is a pos
Two things can be true.
1.) Guys can cum from bad sex. To rough, no emotional connection, passionless sex is still sex, and can still bring many a dude to orgasm. And that’s actually a huge issue, because it give the false impression that if a dude cums he enjoyed himself. Which has complicated many a rape case brought forward by a man.
2.) He was a cockhead for waiting until afterwards to tell you. If he thought the sex sucks, he’s at fault for not communicating that. You can’t return a steak once you’ve finished the whole piece.
Edit to add: Wow, that final metaphor came out super wrong, that’s not meant to imply anything about you OP, I just have trauma from my time in hospitality.
Ya this is a power play. Has nothing to do with sex and everything to do with his shitty personality.
Best to just move on.
Lol at least he was honest. Dont think I’d tell the chick if the sex sucked, I just wouldn’t repeat
Damn near all the time.
A guy could rub himself against a tree and cum, it’s not that hard for most of us.
It’s definitely possible that you aren’t great at giving head. I’m assuming you’re a woman and so you don’t have a penis and have no idea how the sensations work. Things are much different for men. How would you know what to do unless someone spent time teaching you. That’s why allot of men aren’t good at giving women head. However, guys are super sensitive and ready to go, so at some point you’re going to make it happen. Especially if they’re young.
Sex is like dancing. You can’t just jump out there and be perfect on the first song. You need a partner that works with you, gives feed back and makes adjustments. Leads you and words with you so that you’re can perfect what you’re doing.
“Hey I liked this, can you do that more, but I didn’t like this, you need to stop that. Now try this rhythm or motion.” And then give feedback with noises.
I’m sure it’s all the same for you. All of this goes both ways.
Guys, like girls, have organisms that vary. Some are earthshattering, and dime are comfy/cozy, and all points un between .
Yes technically it’s possible for a man to cum but not really enjoy the sex overall. It doesn’t necessarily take a lot for a guy to cum but it can take a lot to have great sex.
It’s one think to give a parter well- intentioned constructive feedback about what does/doesnt work well for you, but if they tell you later it all was bad, I’d ignore that as someone trying to be hurtful outside of the actual experience.
I had a guy tell me that even bad pizza is still pizza. He sucks as a person and as a sexual partner. I think he knows this and is taking it out on you.
There are guys out there who will put you down so that
you will strive to try to be “good enough”
they can see how much abuse you will take
you will think so lowly of yourself that you will not leave or realize you deserve better
you will be looking at your own faults and not notice his
And more reasons I am sure. Don’t listen to them. And if he calls you for a booty call, REFUSE, and remind him it was not good for either of you last time. No need to repeat it. Or block him immediately for being a jerk so he never bothers you again.
Why is he still your boyfriend?
It’s definitely possible. There’s more to sex than physical stimulation.
Bad pizza is still pizza. A bad blowjob still gets your balls drained and sex afterwards makes sure nothing is left to make a baby that day. I’ve had bad sexing and told my gf that it wasn’t all earth shaking. She was upset, but I told her that the earth doesn’t always move, and if she got off, I was happy to do it to her. Sexy time sometimes is less than great, but if you love each other, remember the times the earth shook, and the next time it’ll be an earthquake. If a woman asks about her technique, be positive, help.make it a mutually enjoyable and try for better next time.
lol he’s trying to be “cool” you mad him cum
Yeah it’s possible. Guys can finish even when it’s mid or not that enjoyable. Orgasm and overall experience aren’t always the same thing, so cumming doesn’t automatically mean it was great.
If the sex is phenomenal or if it’s bad, the answer is still the same. Once (maybe twice if the guy is an overachiever)
Don’t let this guy gaslight you. If he was a decent person and lover, he would find supporting positive ways to let you know what feels good for him.
Even as a trans guy I can cum from bad sex. Sometimes sex with a really compatible, capable partner can just be lack luster sometimes and that’s okay.
The way he communicated not enjoying sex was clearly just to be an ass or defensive
sometime when i jack off ill still cum and it wasnt great. its very possible to cum and have it not be great. it probably has more to do with him than you.
It sounds like he’s trying to make you feel terrible
Cumming is a physical response to stimulus so yes they can cum if it’s “not good”
Dude sounds like a dick.
Everyone’s first time sucks. Tell him to suck his own dick. Hope you took plan B and I hope he doesn’t have any STDs. Please get tested now
Did he know it was your first time? Ugh, if yes and he said all that? Don’t even waste time wondering about this loser.
Honestly, this dude isn’t worth your time
Everyone here is saying he’s mean, he’s putting you down, etc. what a load of crap.
Has it ever occurred that sex can not feel good and despite that a man can still orgasm? Now say that happened to you, would t you be confused as hell?
OP needs to have him clarify how exactly it was bad, and have him communicate better. Obviously he should have told you sooner, but there are plenty of times weird crap happens and we as humans have to process it.
To answer your question yes guys can still ejaculate good or bad
what a dickhole. do not sleep with him ever again.
Atleast once
I don’t really care if it was good for him or not, to be honest. He got two bjs and he’s still complaining about you? He sounds like a prick.
Did you enjoy it?
That was your first time? He’s such a garbage trash piece of shit. So sorry you chose that to give your flower to
Sounds like an asshole tbh
More importantly did you cum ? If not the sex was bad on his part.
The guy sounds like a total looser don’t take any notice
This guy sounds like a douche, don’t waste your time. Especially if he did no fore play for you for your first time.
I’m sorry that your first time was about his pleasure and not yours. I wish someone had told me when I was young that it is not our job to be their sexual fantasy and prioritize what feels good for them.
Sex is, or at least should be, about intimacy and exploring what makes each other feel good.
This boy does not care about you, don’t sleep with him again.
The most important thing ever, is to not try again with him to see if you can do it “better”
Did YOU cum? Did he ask, or care if you had a good time?
Sounds like a horrific first time honestly, and he’s a shit partner for giving you absolutely no consideration or actual feedback. Something useful from a partner that has communication skills would be “oh that’s good, could you rub your tongue like that again?” (Followed by them returning the favour and learning what feels good for you).
Zero times
This is not normal behavior on his side at all, please understand rhat forever. Hes being really really mean and please don’t let him bring you down. Very shitty asshole
The guy is a complete asshole. Don’t take anything he says seriously. No one is expected to enjoy their first time, and If he has done it with others and knew you were a virgin, he knew you wouldn’t be like the others.
Ghost him. He sounds like a dick and you don’t need any of that bs
That’s impossible to answer. I often don’t cum even from sex which I consider to be amazing. And sure, I have cum a few times during sex which may not have been the best ever. But in general, if I came, it was good sex. And if I came multiple times, it was probably great sex. If I say that sex wasn’t good, it’s because I have no interest in having sex with that person again.
For me, none. If the sex is bad, I’m stopping and getting dressed… Did it many times with my first wife, she was the most boring fuck off my entire life and sex with dozens of people over it. Life is too short for shitty sex. Either that or once I actually faked an orgasm (yeah, a guy can too) just to stop sex with someone who was really boring in the sack.
Take note though, a lot of guys are full of shit, turning you something like that. He came multiple times and it’s bad sex?! Really?! Also, many have no clue what good sex is. They’ve spent too much time watching porn and thinking it’s reality, having unrealistic expectations from it. So if they don’t get what they think they watched, it’s disappointing to them, but wouldn’t be with a guy that didn’t have those expectations. It was so bad that I’d already started going soft after just a few minutes, so I ran with it, made some noises and tensed up to make it seem like I had. When was a better way to deal with it than telling them that they were a shit lover…I didn’t want to make them self-conscious of take a hit to their self-esteem… Wasn’t a relationship, just sex, but I don’t want to hurt sometimes feelings if I don’t have to, ya know.
Think of it this way. Have you ever had a bunch of people tell you that a restaurant dish is REALLY fantastic, you have anticipated it for weeks, thinking about how good it sounds. Then, when you finally get the chance to go there and eat it, the first bite tastes like 3 day old roadkill? That may be what he was expecting, whether it was a reasonable expectation or not. You may not have actually been “not good” to him because of his expectations, but you’d be fantastic to someone without those expectations.
Personally, were I you, I’d have been offended as fuck! You’re “not good” yet he kept going until he came three times?! That means that he was just using you as a RealDoll™, to get his rocks off, and not much as a person.
Don’t waste your time on him. Find someone better! You deserve it
Eww he didn’t even give you foreplay??
Women see sex as the beginning of things, and unfortunately some men see it as the end, or a goal accomplished. It’s a shame your first was with a loser. He should feel lucky to land a girl who tried, and succeeded with honestly nothing in return. Don’t second guess yourself. This guy has no respect for you and very little for himself.
You got to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince, and sometimes you get a slimy frog. I wouldn’t doubt him calling you for a booty call don’t pick it up.
Critiquing harshly at someone who is new or fresh to the concept of sex/oral is a total dick move in my opinion. It can cause self esteem issues or a complex, especially if they won’t elaborate as to why it wasn’t good.
If he wanted to be a good sex partner he would have sat you down for a conversation to explain how you could hone your skills or make healthy suggestions without making crappy remarks.
I hope you don’t continue seeing this person, OP. They’re clearly not mature enough to be a part of your life in any facet.
Idk he seems like an idiot not gonna lie
Yes there is potential for this to be true but it is also unlikely.
I have a hard time cumming if the sex is bad. It’s probably because I start feeling a bit disgusted during the act.
If sexual energy doesn’t match then the sex is (most likely) bad. Doesn’t mean either person is bad at sex tho. You will have great sex, and have many opportunities to learn sex stuff, with another great person that matches with you a lot better. Oh and first-times are usually weird, don’t worry bout it
He’s giving small dick engery. You can do better.
Cumming is a physiological process, so it can definitely happen out of sheer “mechanical stimulation” without much interest or pleasure.
(I’m sure plenty of guys have experienced the sadness of the “token bored wank” one time or another).
That doesn’t justify your partner being an absolute POS. There was no need to remark that sex was bad (much less so if it was your first time). He’d have kept it to himself and gently provided guidance and advice the next time to get it better.
So yeah, dump his sorry ass and learn from the experience. (ie. choose more carefully and possibly with more patience who you have sex with)
The guy sounds like he barely put any effort in your enjoyment then wanted to complain that you were new to this and not as good as experienced women. Is that correct? If so I’m sorry you lost your first time to a loser. Good partners will tell you what they like and don’t like and if they want fore play they also give it. So all in all, yes men can finish even if they didn’t enjoy it, but the issue here is he’s not worth talking to any further.
Regardless of how much he enjoyed it, it’s immature and inappropriate to tell you it wasn’t good.
He’s most likely trying to neg you so you “try harder” next time. Modern men think they need to insult women to “put them in their place” and keep them trying to win the approval of their boyfriend.
Don’t fuck with these boys. They are insecure and immature.
If he wants to do it again throw his comments about not enjoying it back in his face.
For me personally, i cant finish more than once a day easily, and the few times it has happened there were multiple hours between, a week pent up, and I was 10 years younger minimum. But it is possible for a guy to finish and it not be good sex for him. Depending on a few factors (age, time between climaxing, health, ect) it can be fairly easy for a guy to climax. For example, if I hadn’t done anything then I could finish with minimal effort, but it wouldn’t be good.
I cant speak as to whether or not the guy was a douche, though he sounds a bit douchy. Just can confirm that climaxing =/= good sex.
This is where the 80-20 rule comes in I guess. Such shitty guys get multiple partners whom they don’t care about, because obviously multiple options. Ek gayi doosri aayi. And then there are guys who are ready to put in the effort but nobody wants to do anything with them.
First rule never date anyone or give them a 2nd chance if they straight up compare you.
There are way to suggest things you liked from past experiences. Most guys can’t go back to back with no break, so chances are he didn’t.
yes. orgasm and ejaculation is a physiological process and does not equal to sexual satisfaction. if it was then jerking off would be equal to having sex
There are times I don’t ejaculate/orgasm and still find the sex great. I have also ejaculated when I wasn’t satisfied.
But, the more important thing is to GET RID OF THAT AH!! He ONLY cared about himself!!
This guy is a jerk. Do yourself a huge favor and stop talking to him. Don’t explain it. Just move on.
You can absolutely do better.
The answers to your questions don’t even matter right now because the pressing issue is run away from this person.
Whether the guy is an ass or not is a separate issue from the question…but just because a guy had an orgasm DOES NOT mean it was good sex. I kinda hate hearing that narrative. I know women have a hard time finishing so maybe that’s the bar they compare it to but its not an accurate threshold. and as we can see in many comments, he then is taking the blame for bad sex as if the woman isn’t an equal partner in bringing enthusiasm, passion and fun to the experience. I speak that in the general sense. for this post, it was her first time so i agree he should have understood that and been nicer about it
the comments are fucking hilarious if you’ve been in this sub long enough to see posts where women are on the receiving end of bad sex
Men can cum and not have the best experience.
Sounds like you did a pretty good job all around with the sex part. Problem is you have chosen to have sex with a category-five dickhead who should never be allowed near a woman again.
If sex isn’t go I won’t cum at all that fact that he came twice seems to me like he likes it at least a little, or he is very sensitive and would have cum from a light breeze doesn’t mean you have to tear someone down though.