My girlfriend 18f and I 19m have been together for 4.5 years and we want to have sleepovers together. We both have jobs, are in college and play sports and although we do spend as much time as we can with one another we just want more quality time together. We know what our parents’ minds automatically jump to when we talk about wanting to spend the night together but genuinely just want to be together.
It’s just frustrating that in our years of being together we have never given them any real reasons not to trust us besides the fact that we were teenagers in a relationship. It’s also frustrating that we are both adults, we both act like adults and have most of the responsibilities of adults but are still treated like kids. We have always taken our relationship seriously and have always been responsible about it.
I get that they are our parents and we still live with them and they have the final say, but it is frustrating.
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Your parent’s house, their rules.
I am a 24F living now with my fiancé who is 28m. I lived at home until I was 19. My parents allowed my partner at the time to sleep over. With rules and respect of never closing the door, and the other obvious rule. I live on my own now and did when I was still 19. I had sleepovers with men I was seeing and it was my own home, my own rules. I’d say, have a discussion with your parents about it. Find out their rules and guidelines. You are an adult which is good, but be mindful it is their home, their rules. You can start small, request that you have a sleep over one night a week as a trial and to earn their trust and prove your respect. If the reason they don’t allow it is an intercourse thing you can try to explain that you’d be respectful and honor that. But ultimately it is their decision being their home and you have to respect it. Sleeping over with partners before marriage might not be a norm for them. But even though It’s more normal for this generation, doesn’t mean it should be allowed. If you want to be able to be an adult then you might have to get your own home to have your own rules. I know living on your own is hard, trust me. It’s hard for me and my fiancé, but the freedom is worth it.
Hard to get quality time together while you are sleeping. Respect the parents house and rules. Wanna have sex. Get a hotel.
>we are both adults, we both act like adults
Ehhh, not really. You’ve been adults for barely a year. Also, adults have their own place to live and don’t have to ask their parents for permission to have sleepovers. I get it, it’s a frustrating age because it’s more like a transition into an adult while you’re expected to act like one. But you’re putting your parents in an awkward position. Regular sleepovers are going to lead to sex, which increases the likelihood of pregnancy. That’s just a fact, whether you like it or not. And your parents would probably like you to have a good future and good start to life. Not be tied down by child support payments and a kid you didn’t want.
So either get your own place or find other ways to spend quality time together.