Recently my boyfriend [26m] and I [23F] moved in together. Currently we split rent 50/50 $500 each for our 1 bedroom apartment. Now on top of this I also pay another $450 for my other lease, I graduated college in the middle of the year and my lease in my college town would be ending 3 months after his. When we discussed moving in together he agreed to take on some more responsibilities while I am paying for my other lease. Currently I pay my half in rent, all of the WiFi, and all of the groceries. He pays his rent and the entire electricity bill. I guess what I’m saying is am I pulling my weight here? I’m a social worker so truth be told I’m not making a ton of money right now (he makes about 25k more than me a year and has been in his field for a couple of years now). He would never tell me straight up if I wasn’t but there’s been a few comments about money that make me worry he feels like I’m not contributing enough. I am a chronic over thinker, so it might be nothing but does it seem like I not pulling my weight? How should I move forward?
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Backup of the post’s body: Recently my boyfriend [26m] and I [23F] moved in together. Currently we split rent 50/50 $500 each for our 1 bedroom apartment. Now on top of this I also pay another $450 for my other lease, I graduated college in the middle of the year and my lease in my college town would be ending 3 months after his. When we discussed moving in together he agreed to take on some more responsibilities while I am paying for my other lease. Currently I pay my half in rent, all of the WiFi, and all of the groceries. He pays his rent and the entire electricity bill. I guess what I’m saying is am I pulling my weight here? I’m a social worker so truth be told I’m not making a ton of money right now (he makes about 25k more than me a year and has been in his field for a couple of years now). He would never tell me straight up if I wasn’t but there’s been a few comments about money that make me worry he feels like I’m not contributing enough. I am a chronic over thinker, so it might be nothing but does it seem like I not pulling my weight? How should I move forward?
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Info: how much is the electric bill each month? How much do you pay for Wifi and groceries each month?
Pay the bills based on your income so if he makes 25% more than you he would pay 25% higher.
He makes $25k more than you, he should be paying more in bills. Calculate bills based on your income.
Have a conversation and split bills according to income. He may think you’re not paying your fair share but if you lay out everything mathwise with him, I think he’ll understand that he needs to pay more because he makes more and you can’t pay the same because you don’t make as much.
You’re paying for your current lease and the new lease that you two are on. The WiFi and groceries and you’re working if it’s enough? The fact that he makes 25k more than you screams red flags to me. He convinced you to move in and ease his financial burden, when he’s been paying all those bills by himself. He’s saving tons of money now with you there. I’d reconsider where this relationship is going.
Household contributions can be equitable without being strictly equal financially. Do you cook, clean, do laundry, manage household chores and finances? That is a huge lift for a shared household – many partners (myself included) would rather pay more expenses and avoid those household tasks. Are you equally frugal with your finances or are you not contributing to utilities while having more disposable income you spend on yourself?
This is a question for you two to decide as a couple what you feel is equitable. If you want to share a household you need to be able to communicate about things.
I just will never understand why people stay with the people who make them feel like shi and know the other person is lowkey wrong but just overlook it. No guy that really likes you and wants to be with you is gonna make you feel bad when your clearly playing your part. If you have to come on Reddit almost EVER for a question about your relationship and it’s not necessarily the best I just think you should be hesitant of this person your taking so seriously
Its a modern world, 50/50,
Why dont you guys get a joint account.
You both put say $500 a week into joint account and all expenses come from this account ?
You can even put joint approval so that no party can spend money from here without the other person authorising to stop unexpected entitlement.
Its always interesting to me at how many people are reluctant to do this..
For me its always a sign they are not fully in if they wont make this one step to transparency and equality.
You can only expect him to cover more than 50/50 if you are doing more to support him to earn more.
EG you are sacrificing your time to make him lunch and and do all this extras so he can work longer hours.
If your choices meant you earned less than him, thats on you and he doesnt have to make up for your position, that sounds harsh but thats equality in a modern world
You cant have it both ways, I want equality except with money then I need you to be gentleman and pay more.
Nopes thats just selective bias because it suits you.
You live in a 1 bedroom apartment. Your electric bill is probably only 120 dollars a month, at the absolute most. You’re getting squeezed here.
Men totally lack comprehension of the cost of groceries. I split all groceries, utilities, cleaning products 50/50 using receipts.
That bf doesn’t sound like a nice person at all. You’re paying more than he is and he has the audacity to lie that you’re not pulling your weight…. Hmmmn
You split the bills according to your income, percentage wise.
You said comments were made?
Could you elaborate?
I too am an over-thinker and I feel like the context of the comments may help me understand if you’re overthinking or not.
But based on what I’ve read, I feel like you’re contributing plenty.
You pay half of rent, you buy groceries, you have the net covered, I mean, he’s got the rent and the electric when it comes to the household.
Honestly he should be buy groceries too, the way the prices are nowadays, Idk how y’all are surviving on $150 every two weeks.
I spend $300-$400 every two weeks for my family of 3. 😂
Use “splitwise” app or the like and have everyone put their costs in their to split.
Did you ever wonder why he doesn’t tell you how much the electric bill costs? You’re paying more. Very scummy of him considering he makes more.
Maybe not at this point, but it probably would’ve been cheaper to break your lease than continue paying the rent.
He pays for everything else and I just buy groceries and things for the house/things we want/need. I wanted to do this since he’s putting everything into paying off debt and what he was spending on groceries is now going to debt so we can get a house.
He makes about 90-100k but works non stop and I make MUCH less so that’s what we do.
Mannnn first of all where r u finding a $1000 1bd 😩