So two months ago , I started seeing my boyfriend.. A sweet guy. After a few weeks we tried to have sex and he couldn’t get it up. We chalked it up to nerves. We tried again and nothing. This week we tried to have sex again because we won’t see each other for a few weeks due to travel and he still couldn’t perform. He went to his regular doctor and his next appointment is with a urologist. My friends call me crazy for supporting him (probably because we are in our 20s ) but I don’t think I am. He decided to see a doctor, he used toys and gives me oral until I finish, and he doesn’t blame this issues on me. Even last time he mentioned how’s he’s going to suggest taking pills to his urologist because he wants a healthy sex life. I feel bad and want to know how should I support him ?
Comments
I’m wondering if he has a problem with porn? This is becoming more and more pervasive in our society and it’s causing this to happen to many men.
He’s got porn dick. He can’t be with you because he’s a porn addict. Cut your losses…there are GOOD men out there.
Sincerely, I would ask him.
I will note that, he may not know how to either as this is possibly/likely a very new experience for him as well. So try to show support by letting him know how you feel (not how your friends feel, just how you feel, and that you want to support him). He may not know, he may know but in two weeks that same thing might frustrate him and that will certainly throw you off and it turns out he needs support differently now. I say this because, lots of things in life will be new to you, your partner, or the both of you. Learning how to communicate with your partner and learning how to listen to your partner through those times (I wouldn’t say moments, they can last a while) will greatly benefit any relationship you are in. Don’t be a doormat, but be supportive and as understanding as you feel is appropriate. 🙂
A LOT of men have ED nowadays because of how much porn they consume. As long as you encourage him and stay patient you should be fine. He’s taking a step in the right direction which is a green flag.
Asexual men do exist.
Lol at people blaming this on “porn dick”. It sounds like he might have a genuine medical issue. ED can be caused by a whole bunch of things, and I guarantee a man in his 20s is not getting ED because of “porn dick”.
It’s far more likely he is just nervous. Good luck!
Lean in. Make your sex life entirely about your pleasure. Don’t worry about his penis unless he does. As long as you get off, you get off. Sounds great.
Insane to me so many people are blaming this on porn dick given that performance anxiety is far more likely.
ED especially in younger men is usually an indicator of something else being wrong with the body.
Best way to support him (other than suggesting going to the doctor) is still demonstrating affection in whatever way works for the two of you.
Male in my 20s who suffered from this as well. Is your boyfriend experienced? I suffered from this with my first serious girlfriend and it was definitely a mixture of performance anxiety and too much masturbation, but mostly performance anxiety. I took pills for a while which helped me build confidence tremendously and then after a while I just didn’t need them anymore.
Things to ask are:
That will help determine if it’s physical or mental.
Anyway, you’re not crazy for sticking around. My first serious girlfriend stuck around and now she’s my wife. 😊
> I feel bad and want to know how should I support him ?
What do you feel bad about?
What support is he giving you?
You’ve only been together 8 weeks and you’ve already accepted he can’t have sex with you, and isn’t particularly interested in trying (only 3 times in 8 weeks during the horniest stage of a relationship). If you’re happy with that kind of sex life, that’s fine, we’re all different…
…but if your job here – only 8 weeks into the relationship – is to provide physical, emotional and mental health support and rehab to man with porn dick, only you can decide if you’re happy with that.
I’m.guessing you’re already ‘helping’ with his cleaning and housework.
Man I thought this meant eating disorder