i (21M) have never had a girlfriend or had sex with anyone. it has really been bothering me. i just graduated college and i feel like i missed out on things that other people got to enjoy (hookups, relationships, etc.). a couple weeks ago, when i was with my younger cousins who are 19 they kept asking me about my body count since my “college career” is over and i had to bounce around the question to avoid embarrassment. it doesn’t help that i’m unemployed and feel very behind professionally as well. i’m 6’1 and used to be really fat but overr the last 3 years i’ve hit the gym religiously and have built an okay to decent physique. i don’t think i’m hideous by any means but i’ve never really heard of any women being interested in me and while all of my friends fuck multiple girls or are in long-term relationships, i just sit in my room everyday smoking weed deliberating over where it all went wrong. i have a pretty low self esteem and very low confidence if it isn’t apparent
any advice would be appreciated for people who were in similar positions to me 🙏🙏. thanks in advance
Comments
Virginity’s not a character flaw, but self-pity definitely is.
Get a brass
My bf was virgin until he was 23, then he hit the ground running. I actually find it attractive. So don’t worry you will be fine.
Sounds like you’re a late bloomer and 21 is young. You’re not behind! Congrats on being a college graduate. Have some confidence in yourself and start aggressively looking for a job. Once you start working you’ll meet lots of people, go for drinks after work where you’ll meet more and no doubt start meeting some nice ladies. It’ll all come together if you hold your head up and realize you’re worth knowing. As far as responding to your cousins, just fib.
You are not missing out on anything trust meee. They only thing u missing out on is stds and cheating culture and hook up culture. Get your money up and save as much as u can and build a life for yourself bro. A life you are proud of.
You are young you got the whole world in your hands and can achieve so much more. Eventually the right person will come along. Don’t rush and take care of yourself
You could get it over with, with an escort. Afterwards you can relax and let things come naturally in their own time.
I’m 27. I lost my virginity about two months ago. I was where you are. I felt like I was behind everybody else. I had my first kiss a lot earlier than other people, but then 20 years went by, and I realized I was my own worst enemy. I had never pursued anyone even if I found out they were interested. I never felt like anyone would be interested in me. Then I got out of my own way. I signed up for a bunch of dating apps, and I’ve slept with 4 women in a month and have two dates this weekend.
That unclimbable mountain you’re looking at right now, the doubts you feel about yourself? They’re holding you back. I’m a somewhat balding 5’5 ginger with acne scars, and while I’m fairly skinny, I’m a solid 3, a 4 on a good day. A dude who’s 6’1 and goes to the gym? The world is your oyster. You just gotta realize it. My best piece of advice is that once you get on to those apps or approach someone, don’t pester people and make sure to treat women like the people they are. At the end of the day, you just have to get over yourself and take the first step, as hard as it is.
You’re not alone I’ve seen quite a lot of posts from people like you who are still virgins and haven’t ever had a gf. Including me I’m 19. I’ve really struggled finding anyone for some people in happens naturally. Low confidence is a turn off though. Work on your confidence. Dating apps don’t work for me I’ve been on them for over a year and there are a lot of girls on there who aren’t serious I get quite a lot of matches but if I start a conversation they respond then ghost me it’s very annoying and disappointing. There were some girls who were interested in me at school and college but they weren’t my type. All I can recommend is to get yourself out there go to clubs. And sometimes finding a gf will come to you. And it sometimes happens when you’re not expecting it.
For starters man, you need to believe in yourself. Women love confidence.
Secondly, get out of your room! Go meet people! That’s the only way.
There’s nothing wrong with being a virgin. If you are going to have sex do it because YOU want to, not because everyone else is doing it and you feel left out.
Are you ugly?
Do you talk to women?
Are you on dating apps?
Are you actively applying to jobs?
Are you asking around your friends to see if they can hook you up with a job?
Only thing you missed out on was STDs! Now smoking weed is another thing. Being a weed head and not even having a job is bad! Next thing you know you jacking off on your parent’s basement! Don’t end up like that. Women of your generation are total whores. Pussy is so easy to get for the Gen Z’s. Just have some confidence. But I say be in a relationship when you do it. Don’t just hook up with anyone and make sure you get an STD test. Strap up too cause you don’t want to have any kids and don’t even have a job. Be responsible.
This shit tells a LOT about how fucked up ur culture is
Being virgin is a flex where i live lol i am proud virgin.