Asked by 28 year old man whose coworkers, friends and similar age family members are getting married while he is single and living alone
Asked by 28 year old man whose coworkers, friends and similar age family members are getting married while he is single and living alone
Comments
There are lots of other ways to get intimacy.
I find it hard to believe that everyone your age is getting married at 28.
Expand where you meet people.
Get a pet.
Get massages.
Exercise so you feel good in your body.
Take yourself on adventures to celebrate your freedom.
Read “Positive Solitude” by Rae Andre
Late 20s/early 30s is generally considered the hardest part when you realize life isn’t going in a more traditional trajectory.
Thing is some of your peers will realize they maybe didn’t want the traditional trajectory either, just takes more time.
> Asked by 28 year old man whose coworkers, friends and similar age family members are getting married while he is single and living alone
Trying to figure that out myself. Answered by a 60-something year old widower living alone after 30-something years of marriage.
hookers.
Go on some dates.
Get a dog.
Get into some activities you really enjoy.
Know any divorce lawyers? Take one out to dinner and ask for some good stories. You will be really glad to be single.
You gotta go outside and do stuff. Like, every day. Doesn’t need to be a huge party, but you gotta go outside and have at least nominal interactions with people. We used to have so many physical places we were in: school, home, church, work, bowling league, etc etc. Now everyone just works and lives at home, and gets their interaction from the internet. This is not what we are currently evolved to be doing. Just go do stuff every day, even if it’s walking to get a specific ingredient from a specialty store or something.
I waited until 66 to get married. Should have waited 30 more years.
I was the same age when I went through a pretty dry period for about 7 years, until I met my husband. I fell into some new friend groups (not as close as my old friends). I met them through work and through my apartment complex. I joined a softball team. Also focused on my career, dated some (would have liked more). I listened to a lot of personal growth books. Joined a book club about deep philosophy stuff. I traveled by myself some. … Got to the other side of that exhausted and met my husband just in time, haha.
What are you asking?
Are you looking for dating advice or advice on how to be alone?
One would assume if all your friends are getting married, that this is a life choice you have made, no?
If it’s dating advice you’re looking for, join a club or if you play a musical instrument, an orchestra or a band. Look for healthy clubs like AMC in the North East or Sierra Club on the west coast. Healthy people usually join those things and you’re bound to find someone you like.
If you want some advice on how to be alone, I can’t help you. I’ve been married since 1986
All my friends were married before age 30, as well as my younger brothers. It was bothering me. Half of the marriages failed before the spouses hit 40. Some divorced TWICE before 40. Hopefully, you’ll find the right person at the right time for you. Don’t rush it.
If he means emotional intimacy, it’s best to do activities he enjoys and build sincere friendships from there. Yeah, it does get harder as he gets older, as more people pair up and vanish, but he can still find people to hang out with.
If he means sexual intimacy, he may have better odds looking for a FWB or hookup type of arrangement. As long as everyone is above board, AND HE ALWAYS USES PROTECTION, it’s not a big deal.
If he’s unhappy about not being married, I’d recommend therapy, because what he’s doing is beating himself up comparing his life to other people. About things that are out of his control.
Start by not comparing yourself to other people. Your journey in life is not the same as theirs.
Quit posting the same question 5x a day on every Reddit you can find and get out of the fucking house.
Be grateful and embrace it.
Marriage doesn’t mean you won’t ever lack intimacy. Marriage goes through ups and downs. During downs, it can be very lonely. Often a symptom of other issues in the relationship.
Stay away from porn….you be surprised how motivated you get to meet women after eliminating that crap.
You need to enjoy being single. Go do things you enjoy doing. If you’re depressed because you’re single no one will want to date you in that emotional state.
I was like you. Then I settled and learned there is something worse… bring in a relationship and you feel single.
Enjoy your hobbies and trips and you’ll find someone. Your perspective is what’s preventing you from finding someone.
Also dating apps too.
get active, change your routine and try your best not to dwell on it. I know that dont dwell on it thing sounds snide but i genuinely dont mean it that way. Just some things if you feed into them it makes it a lot harder. Like i deal with loneliness a good bit and if i dwell on it it makes it a whole lot harder to get past it. It causes me to get stuck in it, then in the loop of doing that until i break that circle.
What i mean by get active is go out and live life. If youre truly living youre surrounded by people and you wont have time to soley focus on that because youll have a lot of other things happening. You might also increase your chances of meeting somebody and getting the intimacy you want.
Escorts?
Continuing to meet people who share interests with you raises the opportunity for intimacy to happen.
If you want to stay single but get some skin on skin time, I have no clue. I chose the getting married route.