My boyfriend (27M) and I (22 F) just can’t seem to get along. we fight constantly. We have both emotionally cheated and I know that this relationship is doomed. Every time I try to bring it up, though, he gets SO angry. He either starts yelling and it’s a horrible fight or he cries and begs me to stay. We live together and share a car and have been together for almost 3 years. I’m unsure what to do as I know it’s in our best interest to be apart. How do I proceed? I don’t want to hurt him and love him dearly.
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Separation is going to hurt. Period.
Just rip off the bandage. It seems like your relationship is not very healthy.
Just cause you love someone does not mean you have to stay or be in a relationship. A relationship is not meant for the two to be constantly fighting. Sometimes it’s time for Splitsville. Life is too short to be unhappy. I think you know what you need to do, you probably just needed confirmation.
Look, your happiness, health, and SAFETY are priorities right now. Breaking up hurts, you can’t prevent that.
So push away any “I don’t want to hurt him” thoughts, because you two are already hurting each other.
Plan how to get out, and then leave. If you think he might get physical, leave when he isn’t home, or have friends/family with you. And you can break up via text if you feel unsafe.
In the very overused words of a certain commercial: Just do it
He’s emotionally manipulating you into staying, it’s only a matter of time until it escalates. Please reach out to family and friends, someone that can be there to help you break up with him and start moving your stuff out.
It’s going to hurt regardless, however it’s best to get it over with. Because sooner or later, these emotional fights could very well lead to physical ones & if he has an anger issue, he’s likely to be the one to strike first. Get out while you can!
Find a place, move back home if you can/have to. Do you have people who can protect you when you move? Move out by having lots of people to help, and tell him in front of these witnesses if he wants to pay for the car or if he wants you to pay for it so you can keep it. Stay calm, ask your friends not to engage in any argument between the two of you unless he gets violent. Tell him you have tried telling him it
s over and since he has not been listening, you have no choice but to do it this way. Dont tell him where you are moving. Have your mail sent to a p.o box or parents, whatever works.He’s emotionally abusive and manipulative. And the age gap is icky at this age. If you don’t live with him, just send a text and block him. Or mute him if you worry he’ll stalk you (and this is a legit concern with his behavior. He isn’t a safe person to be around).
If you live together, find a way to escape when he’s at work or gone for the day. And his response to you wanting to leave is scary af.
No. You don’t love him dearly as you BOTH are in emotional affairs.