Hello,
My wife and me are expecting our first baby in a couple weeks. My mother in law is flying from Japan to come stay with us to help for three weeks. The only problem is we live in a one bed flat and worried about her comfort if she is sleeping on the sofa for three weeks (she’ll have a duvet and pillows).
Does anyone have any recommendations on what I could do to make her stay more comfortable? Some people said to get a blow up mattress but to me they aren’t as comfy as the sofa.
Thank you
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Would a mattress topper fit on the sofa?
Memory foam mattress topper was a saviour when I spent a few weeks on a sofa bed. They aren’t too expensive but really do make a huge difference.
Godspeed, I cannot imagine anything worse than accommodating a relative with a new baby in the flat.
Seriously find a hotel and put her up there. You are going to go insane.
Could you not just buy a single mattress, pop it on the floor at night and then stand it up during the day?
Assuming your MIL is Japanese and not just living there at the moment.
I hate to stereotype by nationality, but don’t many Japanese people like sleeping on a futon on the floor? I know I’ve stayed in hotels in Japan where they had both bed and floor options for the rooms.
If so, that would be a fairly cheap and very easy solution.
Test it the bed… Also decent pillow goes a long way.
Maybe give her a space or box to put her stuff in as well as her suitcase (she’ll have a washbag and other things) it means she can spread her stuff out a little without intruding too much. Some temporary plastic hooks you put over the top of doors to allow her to hang things up.
Tell her where stuff is locally so she can go places to explore, so she doesn’t feel confined to the flat. If you are in London get her an Oyster card or equivalent in other places?
Assuming your wife recovers reasonably quickly kick her and her mother out for a couple of hours and tell them to go and have a coffee without the baby so they can decompress.
I find increasing the amount of chilli in her food, every meal, makes my mother’s visits more confortable.
Turning the volume down an extra notch or two, too.
Talk to your wife, but I think a single futon might be the solution. I am not japanese, but I sleep on a futon from ages 18 to 36, only left it behind when I moved into a furnished London flat. I would be as comfortable now on a futon, as in my own bed (extra firm from Ikea).
The inflatable flock mattresses are pretty comfortable too. You could get one and only use it if she doesn’t like the bed – otherwise return it.
IKEA do really good memory foam mattress toppers, they aren’t too expensive and well worth it
Ask not what you can do for your mother in law, but what your mother in law can do for you…
Trust me when I say – when that baby arrives, your MIL’s comfort will just drop down your list of priorities like a STONE.
I’m Asian, Perhaps talk to both wife and mil about the bedding, including futon/ who sleeps where on what schedule to help with baby etc
You don’t. She is coming to help. Aka lower your workload. Don’t add to it by trying to make her more comfortable. She’s an adult she will be fine
House slippers!
How about she sleeps in with your wife and baby and you sleep on the sofa?
Buy her a decent airbed
In some cultures, there are certain foods that are prepared and rituals that are performed to ensure the post partum mother is cared for and has the nutrition she needs. I would check whether this is the case with your MIL, and if so, gather the ingredients and tools she needs to make these foods. Try to get as much prepared in advance as you can to allow her to support your partner so there isn’t a mad scramble when she arrives.
Get a z-bed type thing maybe? Daughter in a similar position as his mum flies in next week and they have opted to get a cheap day bed that can also be used as a seat in their son’s room afterwards.
If you can afford it I’d really look at if there are any very local airbnbs or a hotel – you could even take it in turns to go rest there whilst the others look after the baby at home. It could help your wife catch up on some sleep too?
Edit to add: alternatively if your MIL really has to stay at the flat, I got a folding mattress from Argos which is far more comfortable (and quicker to set up) than an airbed – it also doubles as a table when not being used
https://www.argos.co.uk/product/4177740
This is such a kind message! I highly recommend a Vango blissful self-inflating air bed. It’s fanatic and feels just like a normal double bed. It silent keeps itself inflated at your chosen firmness all night, and it inflates and deflates itself in a minute. Much much better than sleeping on the sofa. Also ear plugs and a soft eye mask will go a long way x
Could you not get something like this? It will fold up during the day. I am sure you would be able to sell it on once MIL has gone home.
Good luck with the birth/baby!
https://preview.redd.it/r7436ts17qof1.jpeg?width=1272&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=937dc830f3d0c4c40ae47586bdf08b43acbcd219
We got a folding bed after ours was born, we spent a lot of time sleeping in shifts. It’s probably worth the investment in a mattress.
Honestly, a hotel is a fantastic idea for everyone’s sanity and sleep. You’ll need the space more than you think with a newborn, and she’ll appreciate having her own quiet retreat. It’s a win-win that shows you’re genuinely considering her comfort.
You can buy single “chair beds”, which are like a sofa bed, but a single mattress that folds up into a chair.