Half rant half seeking advice post, there’d be no reason to post this I guess eh?
I was laid off last year from a fantastic job that I enjoyed doing, and was learning daily from. Hindsight is 20/20 a year later, it was certainly a glamorous dead end of a position unless the company transferred me to a more involved role, but nonetheless I enjoyed my coworkers, and the overall environment.
After that I got another job with a reputable company in a specific field, again a low end entry level position. My coworkers were okay, but for the most part given my lack of visibility in specific projects and the despising of the actual position I worked, I sought after another position to challenge myself. I invested in myself, chasing certifications, learning how to sell myself, the whole nine yards of gumption you get when you’re reeling from a lay off and seeking more in general.
Since December I’ve been working at a new company, and now mid June, I’m having that feeling again of that lack of fulfillment.
I can’t help but look in the mirror and think damn, I’m 30 years old and working entry level, basic positions. It’s not retail positions or stocking shelves, think mundane and basic corporate level tasks. Comparison is the thief of joy, but when you see younger folk as well as your peers have more advanced careers or reaping the fruits of their labor, it gets to you, ya know?
Most family/friends are impressed with how I’ve climbed to not one but two large companies, huge increase in pay, etc. But the day in and day out of my job, what I do is a slog. I’m bored. I’m not challenged. My coworkers are alright, but again, the lack of visibility and basic tasks kills me. I seek to learn, grow, and oddly I keep thinking of my age. I also can’t help but keep thinking of that saying “if it smells like shit everywhere, check the bottom of your shoe”. Is it me? I’m an introverted extrovert, so I know how to put myself out there, but man does my social battery or anxiety spark like a fuse at times. So I often choose the route to not fully involve myself in things like work functions—I also am pro half personal life half business life, since that layoff changed how I feel about mingling with coworkers. My actual job I do well, but again, it’s not giving that umph, I’m not proud of it. The title I’m meh about, company I’m jazzed, but what I do…I’m unfulfilled.
I’m at a crossroads if I want to continue down the path re: investing in myself and chasing certifications in a specific field, or have a whole career change. I genuinely feel like I have high functioning depression over this. I don’t know, it’s just bizarre. I’m motivated to do better, but I sometimes I flat out don’t know what I want to do. And it feels too..late? I know there’s room for improvement with myself, I could be too hard on myself, but I want to feel proud. I want to feel fulfilled. Has anyone felt this way in their career, their lives? What did you do to make things feel more purposeful?
Comments
With goth girls.
Also turning 30 this year and can say this is definitely the thought process encroaching on my purpose for life and career goals i thought I’d also be much farther in life and seeing the 19 year olds or 16 year olds making millions from TikTok or YouTube or crypto does make the day to day office job mundane…. However that’s also room for motivation to do more research into what is new and innovative that catches your interest? I’m also a fan of not having the same job for the rest of my life change and adaptation is my niche and maybe you just want something new to learn all the time staying stagnant in the day in and day out job isn’t a good feeling but it’s supposed to be about the journey not the destination.
Also there are many people who would say it’s never too late:: lists off historical figures who are exceptional and became famous later in life.
Haha 🤣 but it’s possible if you have the right determination to go after what sets your heart on fire. Work shouldn’t feel like work if you balance it with the right amount of things that do make you happy to make that day to day seem less mundane. I chose finding a hobby to counter those emotions or spending time once a week with friends. Spending 2-3 days out of the week 1-2 hours doing some sort of a hobby. Those things I found created a good life balance but I understand if it’s not for everyone. Do some research on ikigai (Japanese term for the balance of life) but it’s the balance of work,life, friends, and love that give you your purpose in life and that looks different to everyone your balance can be different than what I described to be mine. Just some stuff that might help guide you to seeing what makes things feel more purposeful. I found looking into ikigai helped me find those things.
I’ve pretty much just stopped worrying about jobs. I’ve done so much to get a good career, I’ve had a good number of jobs, I’ve fell for the “we’re family bullshit”, I’ve worked 80 hour weeks, I’ve gotten a bachelor’s degree that’s done nothing for me, I’ve networked a ton but never managed to get a person to let me in their club.
We live in a shitty society. 99% of people in power shouldn’t be there. It’s about being in the club and in the right caste system. Your hard work matter less and less when it comes to where you land.
I’ve stopped focusing on jobs and started focusing my family, hobbies, and outdoor activities. My job will always be 5th or 6th place in my life. My only financial goals are for my bills to be paid each month and have enough left over for food and some hobbies.