I miss having a tight knit social circle like in my teens and 20s, people you would go on nights out with, holidays, beach trips, sports events etc even weddings. Your group! It feels lonely as hell despite having friends!
I been in London for 8 years, 30M, and have odd friends here and there, but all have their own social circles formed over the past 20 years. My friends from back in the day are all in differnet cities or people who are now very different and not really people I would want to be around
How can I go about forming a core social circle again, a group of lads, when everyone seemingly has these already – it’s something I miss and I feel will only get more challenging going deeper into 30s.
I have friends, i have hobbiesi do regularly / weekly but idk it seems to be just that!
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I don’t know if life has always been this way and at least in a America it’s always been an element of it but I don’t remember it being so prevalent, but I think one solution is tolerance and doing away with the thought that you and the people within your circle all have to be alike and interested in the same things or from the same side of the tracks.
We have to find more places to meet each other as well. Sad reality is that we are becoming a less face to face competent society, I’ve had people stare me down at a bar only to turn around and tell me how cute I was: ON A DATING APP. The problem we run into is there’s no incentive for commitment or follow through online and we are a people that strive on being rewarded.
I know I didn’t answer the question but sometimes identifying the why is just as important as finding the solution
Might sound odd, but trust me. Invite one or two guys to go hit some balls at a driving range once a week. It is very addictive and they will start inviting some of their friends too or you will meet people there at the driving range. Drink a beer and relax (you can be dog shit in golf or never played before, it will still be fun)
Play a sport
That age group is kinda hard because the majority of men in that age group are busy building their own families or career.
Try the local methadone clinic.
A lot of the people I hang out with are in their early to mid thirties. I discovered a community through online streaming. We’re scattered across the world, but we’re a pretty tight-knit group. We play games and share interests and pieces of our lives. Happened completely by chance..
I never really had one myself except for a few years ago. I grew up being bullied and, not to sound wimpy, but the more I look back on it the more damage I think it did. Few of the friendships I had growing up were healthy, but I thought I had to stay in them simply because I didn’t want to be alone. But it got to the point where my therapist said it was becoming sadomasochism.
That’s been my experience throughout life. I’m a 37 year old gay guy who has never had a boyfriend. Probably because I don’t like gay culture and am tired of being shamed for that.
I did have a group of friends that started to grow during and after the pandemic. I thought, finally, I’m just like everyone else! I have the friend group I’ve always wanted. Then they all ghosted me. All at once. Only explanation was that “I’m awkward.” Apparently it took them four years to decide that.
The thing is, apart from not being interested in sports and tits, I like the same things as other guys. Going out for a brew, going to a ballgame or whatever (just because I’m not interested in sports doesn’t mean I won’t go), having a video game night, whatever. I can’t swing a golf club to save my life, but I’ll go without hesitation if I’m invited to go.
But mainly, I sit at home playing video games because I have no one to do anything with.
DnD
Just add some people with the same name on facebook into a group chat, organize a fight in some field somewhere at a specific date, 1 year from now and the one who wins gets to keep their name.