She never liked me going to the gym. I would go for about three days a week, 2 hours at a time. My family once overheard her telling someone jokingly, “If you don’t want your man going to the gym, put laxatives in his preworkout! That’s what I do.”
I was wondering why I was spending so much gym time in the bathroom. I even told her about it, and she never revealed any of this to me. She mentions often that I have issues with constipation, so I feel like she’ll try and justify it by saying she was doing me a favor.
Anyway, my family finally told me about this a couple days ago… I’m pretty upset about it but wondering how to bring it up with her, or if it’s worth it. She will almost certainly get defensive.
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So she basically poisoned you? That’s crazy.
That’s actually horrible. Wtf
This is completely insane. This is actual assault. And should be treated that way.
I would honestly consider ending this. Also your family knew and didn’t say anything??
I think you need to leave this woman. She is not stable.
It’s crazy that this is normalised behaviour for her if she has indeed done this to you. I don’t know why she wouldn’t just communicate with you how she feels and tackle it like an adult…
It might be that she denies it, and at that point you might need to start preparing your own drinks for a bit to see whether things improve or that it was a coincidence…
You say “hey, we are breaking up because you poison my preworkout drink 🙂”
You didn’t ask or said, but I’m guessing she is insecure of you working out and maybe the age gap something to do with it. Nothing against it, my parents are 5 years apart, my dad is younger. But the thing is, my mom (and normal, whatever that means) people don’t find a way to stop their partner from doing something in a way that is a crime and then freaking brag about it. People get insecure and talk about it.
You think being 40 she would be mature. But she went down the way of spiking you. Yeah people tend to get defencive when they’ve done something really bad and don’t want consequences, but they still deserve it.
Don’t let her convince you that this is normal, it absolutely is not. The more I think about it, the worse it is. This is how she resolves conflict? This is how she communicates? Also, she doesn’t mind making you sick to get what she wants? This is a much bigger deal than you’re making it.
Dude, your fiancee was literally poisioning you. Just… don’t marry her? Clearly she is insane, and if you brush this of, you are too.
You say ”putting drugs secretly in someones drink is assault and we are over”.
Obviously she is not partner material what so ever so just move on and cut your losses. But real question here is why it took time for your family to disclose this?
OP, do you really want to trust someone again, let alone marry them, when they have put things in your drinks to force you to do something?
She did that to try and force you to stay home.
She does not have respect for you as a person – to her, you are an object. She feels she can do anything to in order to get what she wants.
That is a very scary, very dangerous mindset.
She would be out of my life full stop as soon as I learned about that. Shit behavior like that only escalates.
Do not marry her. She’s unhinged. She poisoned you and you should press charges against her.
Oh phew you said fiancé, not wife. This can be over easily then
Call off the wedding dude, if you can’t figure this out before the big day then there’s no point.
Initiate by saying, “here’s why we’re breaking up”
So instead of acting like a mature adult and having a conversation with you she went behind your back and tampered with your food. Which is illegal, by the way.
Now you know what lengths she’ll go to in order to get her way. Shes completely unhinged. Imagine how she’ll deal with other things in life if she’s willing to literally poison you over something she disagrees with. Something as benign as you going to the gym.
This is a huge, massive red flag. Do not marry this person, and for the sake of your wellbeing break up. Get out and don’t give her access to your food or she could do something worse!
You must have mistyped, I’m assuming you meant how to initiate a breakup with your fiancée who was deliberately making you sick by secretly putting stuff in your food.
The answer is, you just tell her you’re done, and walk away. I’d report her to the police as well. This is unhinged behaviour, and I’d be seriously concerned for my safety with someone like this.
Well it sounds like she wasn’t joking if you are having to poop at the gym and feeling like you really need to go.
She is basically poisoning you to get her own way or to teach you a lesson. That’s assault. You are in an abusive relationship. You need to leave her before she tries anything even more serious. Imagine being in a marriage where you have an argument and you’re afraid to eat what she cooks you in case it’s spiked with something. Get the hell out, she’s crazy.
Conversation? What kind of conversation are you expecting to have? She did something dangerous and probably illegal (not a lawyer but my understanding is that it’s considered assault in many jurisdictions). This ended in you going to the bathroom more often but it could have been way worse and she would have no way of knowing. It could have caused you dehydration, you may have allergic to the ingredients etc.
You talk to a lawyer or cop, do not ever be alone with her again, and figure out the separation process.
And your family should have told you immediately.
Dude, under no circumstances should you marry this woman. She is insecure at best and dangerous at worst. Going to the gym should be encouraged. But what does she do? She tries to sabotage you in a discomforting and utterly sneaky way. Who knows what else she’s capable of. No way, that is beyond a trust violation. You’re way under reacting and need to not only have a conversation, but end it. Seriously, grow a pair, this is not ok.
You really should be angry because she could get so much worse to make things go her way. Before you comfort her do it to her to gibe her a taste of her own medicine before she heads out somewhere.
Wondering how your family found out? She poisoned you. I would record the conversation and call the police.
It could have made you really sick. It’s manipulative and really shows how self centered she is. Rethink the marriage. Dump her.
What else will she do if you’re doing something she doesn’t like.
Well she deserves to know that what she did was super fucked up, but outside of that there’s no conversation to have. This is absolutely mental and warrants serious reconsideration of the relationship.
Maybe you can test the next time youngo and have proof…. but she is not all there… doctors apointment with shrink needed…
Omfg. She poisoned you!
Friend, this is not normal behavior.
Call the police and charge her for assault. There you go… problem is solved!
“Hey, I found out you’ve been doctoring my preworkout. I don’t want to be with someone who thinks it’s okay to mess with my supplements, so this relationship is over.”
Short and to the point. Don’t give her a chance to be defensive because what she did was indefensible, abusive and illegal. It could have led to a dangerous level of dehydration.
And if you live together, get out.
This is not a person you should be in a relationship with. Others are crazy saying she poisoned you, that’s dumb. The real reason is her mental ability to do subversive acts to get what she wants. Her moral compass is just broken. You should only marry someone if you can love them and accept them for who they are, even the parts that if you could change them would be different, she does not love you (or probably anyone) in that way. She needs therapy to help her to look at the world and others in a more manageable way.
I am confident if you look at the other parts of her life you will find a pattern of very selfish and inconsiderate behavior. Do not marry this woman, find a professional to talk to for yourself so you can get your self esteem back on track where it should be.
Big red flag. How concerning.
‘I just can’t trust you. You at best sabotaged my fitness progress and at worst purposefully made me ill. You obviously have issues that you need to deal with before you are ready to be in a committed relationship. Seeing as you were unable to have an adult discussion about me going to the gym, I know there’s no point having an adult discussion about our relationship and how to fix it. I hope you get the help you obviously need’
Make sure you are ready to leave before you break up with her because she sounds unhinged. Probably best to record the breaking up conversation or have someone there to witness it so no false accusations can be made. Best of luck.
Depending on your region, food tampering is a serious crime. It might be worth taking legal action if you can get some evidence or official witness testimony.
Leave this woman that is sadistic
Let her get defensive and dump her. She’s lucky you dont seem inclined to press charges.
There is no need to have a conversation. Her actions has given you clarity. Get ready to leave.
This is poisoning and abuse. Please don’t trust this woman ever again. That’s genuinely terrifying.
Leave, that’s assault! 🚩🚩🚩
wow! i’d never trust her around my food or drink again. that’s a huge thing to get past. i’m sorry this happened, but the other commenters on here are right. you need to stand your ground.
this is vindictive. after you get past all the shock of what you wrote here, it’s just so nefarious the more it’s broken down.
the trust is broken by this point. what a small and bizarre thing to not discuss with your partner?
did she want more time with you? is she insecure over her looks and took it out on you? is she jealous and thinking you’ll leave her if you’re in shape? there’s a lot of steps that come between point A and the point of purchasing a laxative.
the stupidest part is, if you are constipated and only shit at the gym. i’d start looking forward to my workouts thinking i’d finally take a shit on my gym days…. amplifying the incentive to go.
If she were a coworker she’d be fired & the police would be called. What do you think you should do?
Yeah, maybe don’t marry this woman if she has no problem putting laxatives in your pre-workout.
You don’t initiate any conversation you make a plan to leave without them knowing and protect yourself and your stuff.
Of course she’ll get “defensive” and if not it will be some other manipulation someone who does this too you isn’t worth even talking to let alone being married to
I wouldn’t say anything to her. I just mix your pre-workout drink on your own at the gym then save the bottles she put laxatives in and give them back to her and make her drink one. The one thing you have to beware of is if she’s allergic to the same laxatives she gave you. She had no idea if those laxatives could have harmed you or if you had an accident in front of other people. She’s terrible and immature. Who knows what she’ll do next.
It’s valid reason for leaving her. It’s abusive and controlling behavior. Dump the b****
Why would you want to talk about it? She poisoned you to get her own way and control you. You should be packing your stuff and blocking her on everything. This is sociopathic level behaviour.
Daaaaaamn! That’s some crazy shit.
As to your question, i would just start up with a straight-up question: “Hey honey, did you ever put laxatives in my preworkout drinks?” Afterwards, you can still confront her that you overheard it, and you heard from other people she did it.
Also, mention your true feeling/back of the mind thought. Which is probably something like “i dont know if i can ever trust your answer or you for that matter with these kinds of events” or something like that.
Just have an honest conversation to get her to bring up the truth, whatever that may be, and also express your own feelings about the whole thing. Also, prepare your thoughts upfront. What you think is the best next step forward so you have those thoughts out and ready in case you want to bring it up.
What the actual f? First off why are you dating someone almost 10 years older than you? And why are you dating someone who thinks it’s okay to secretly drug you? She could litterally poison you in your sleep! Please leave as soon as possible!
I think it’s irrelevant that she will claim she was doing you a favour. She did it behind your back, that’s the issue.
You know why she did it, because she’s controlling of how you spend your time. Can you really trust this person? Do you really even need a conversation with her where she is honest? Won’t the expectation kf lies and deniability reinforce the fact that this woman is untrustworthy and willing to drug you as punishment
Leave. Now. Don’t even tell her. Move your stuff out while she’s at work.
Does this sound extreme? This is a woman who has admitted to poisoning you in order to control you. Tell her you’re breaking up and I wouldn’t even trust a glass of water in her presence.
She’s medically assaulted you, and sees nothing wrong with that. Honestly, get out ASAP.
What she did is also a crime Assault at the minimum. You dont talk to her about it. You leave!
If your fiancee would poison you over something as small as going to the gym. I worry about what she’d do if you decide to break up with her.
My initial reaction is to have your family fake a medical emergency after you go to the gym. They can tell her you were severely dehydrated and that it caused cardiac arrest and that you’ve been having heart palpitations and stomach issues.
But realistically that wouldn’t work. I would just ghost her tbh. At best, she’s absolutely and severely stupid to do something like that. At worst, she’s tampering with your food intentionally. I wonder what other things she could be tampering with, without you even realizing.
I wouldn’t confront her about it. It will give her the opportunity to hide it and come up with an alibi. Idk about recording laws where you are, but maybe get evidence.
A 40 year old woman should know that there is something seriously wrong with this. Instead she got some smug satisfaction from poisoning you.
This is abuse. Plain and simple. Life threatening abuse at that. Find evidence for yourself if you want, but do not confront her. Get your evidence, get your ducks in order and find a way to leave safely.
If she’s willing to do that to avoid you leaving for 2 hours, imagine what she’ll do, in order to prevent you from leaving her. She’s not well. She’s a dangerous person.
Say nothing! Leave pre workout in your car, and hit the gym EVERYDAY, for twice as long.
Tell her you had to keep using the toilet so your workout takes twice as long, and because you keep interrupting your workout with toilet breaks, you are gonna hit the gym daily.
Fuck that shit!
How to bring it up to her?
You break up with her and you take precautions and tread carefully, as she is unhinged and feels no shame for poisoning you.
Confronted, she will probably do even more crazy stuff.
Remember that woman in Australia! They were already divorced for eight years and she still poisoned his whole family!
She’s been poisoning you. If she’s willing to do that what else is she willing to do?
You shouldn’t care if she gets defensive. in fact, you need to push back on her if she tries to argue/defend it.
There’s no defending this. I love my partner, I would never dream of drugging him if he went to the gym “too much”. How despicable. She does not deserve a life partner. She deserves to be sad, angry, and alone.
Deal breaker. Why would you stay with this person?
Why are you even with someone who has so little respect for you and feels insecure about you going to the the gym?
I think she needs a taste of her own medicine.. and then come back and update us after each dose 😂😇
Wait, hold on. HOW did your family know she “used to put laxatives” in your food. And none of them thought to let you know? It’s just now coming out after?
You need to take a deep look at your family.
So… You know she did this to you and you daren’t discuss it because you already know she will get defensive rather than discussing it reasonably? Oh crikey the 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩s are flying. Start the conversation. Tell her you know what she did. Ask her to explain , you deserve an explanation . If she’s not genuinely apologetic and remorseful , RUN. You are in for a life of misery with someone so manipulative.
Updateme
This is seriously fucked up. You leave.
Please do not marry this woman. You don’t want to deal with someone who operates like this for long term or short term either. You need to just walk away. Anyone who thinks that is okay is so not okay.
Just leave.
That’s grounds for breaking up yikes
Updateme