My MIL is awful, like ruined my wedding, my pregnancies, my mental health, and came for my marriage. I have been NC for years and husband has just reinitiated contact after about a year of NC. MIL does not like me and I do not like her, openly. We both know it. She is coming to visit our two children. It’ll be her first time meeting our youngest and second time meeting our oldest. I’m not happy about the visit, but unfortunately it’s happening. And I’m not going to leave my kids with her – she doesn’t get to pretend that it’s just her son and her grandkids. I exist and I’m their mom. So I will be around her for the whole weekend.
Husband and I have a plan for if she oversteps, crosses boundaries, or becomes openly hostile. We have no problem removing her from our home and discontinuing the visit if need be. But now I’m wondering how to interact with her assuming she’s on her best behavior? Like, do I sit there silently? Stare at a wall? Pretend that we’re friends? Ask her questions about her life? How does one act like a normal human being in these circumstances? I want to be the bigger person and be kind if she doesn’t give me a reason not to. I also don’t want to act petty in front of my children, but it’s hard to pretend to be friends… what should this social interaction actually look like?
Comments
Quick Rule Reminders:
OP’s needs come first, avoid dramamongering, respect the flair, and don’t be an asshole. If your only advice is to jump straight to NC or divorce, your comment may be subject to removal at moderator discretion.
^(Full Rules) ^(|) ^(Acronym Index) ^(|) ^(Flair Guide)^(|) ^(Report PM Trolls)
Resources: ^(In Crisis?) ^(|) ^(Tips for Protecting Yourself) ^(|) ^(Our Book List) ^(|) ^(Our Wiki)
Other posts from /u/Educational-Let-2280:
Just back here to share the peace NC has brought to my life and spread some hope , 6 months ago
MIL won’t visit without her flying monkey , 8 months ago
Just found out my MIL had a baby shower for my daughter and kept it a secret , 1 year ago
Terrorist MIL wants to visit the baby , 1 year ago
Why is my NC/VLC MIL suddenly incessantly reaching out?, 1 year ago
My MIL is destroying my life, my happiness, my marriage, and my mental health. And we have a baby on the way, 1 year ago
^(To be notified as soon as Educational-Let-2280 posts an update) [^click ^here.](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=botinlaw&subject=Subscribe&message=Subscribe Educational-Let-2280 JUSTNOMIL) ^(|) ^(For help managing your subscriptions,) ^(click here.)
^(I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please) ^(contact the moderators of this subreddit) ^(if you have any questions or concerns.)
I think you need to see what she’s like first then gauge your actions from there. Personally, being scrupulously polite, icily polite has worked for me. They can’t say you’re being a bitch lol. The minute she starts, is the minute you drop your gloves and say “let’s go.” 🙂