This kind of post has been made here in some shape or form too many times to count, but here goes anyway,
I, 27(M), am finding it pretty tough to get over a missed opportunity with a girl. Long story short, I ignored all the signs from a genuinely nice girl that I met through friends, who made it as obvious as she could that she was interested in me, to instead try chase the high of getting with ‘more attractive’ women.
She’s since got with another guy I know, and they’re together a couple of months. She’s moving country, but they’re staying together while she’s away.
I went to her going away party a few weekends ago, and since then I can’t get my head around the fact that I didn’t even think to take an opportunity with a genuinely lovely, smart girl.
All for the sake of a bit of tail and the ‘potential’ of someone ‘better looking’.
Guys out there who’ve experienced similar, what helped get you over this?
Comments
Try not to miss the clues next time.
Find another girl you like
These things happen, man.
Learn from the experience and move on.
Hey man, it’s good that you wrote about this. I hope this reduces some pain. I’d suggest you to accept the fact that she’s moved on with someone else and there’s no chance now. Just accept it. And you’ll find someone who’s good for you. Cheers.
Regrets are like assholes
We all have ’em
Time heals all wounds
It would be a bit unfair for her that now you go and try to get her , now that she already has someone who accepted her as she was, when you dismissed her for not being “attractive enough”.
I’d say, next time be less greedy and focus more on what you have in front of your eyes
You could always shoot your shot at a second opportunity if that’s an option. That helps even if she says no because you at least tried. Short of that, finding the next one works every time.
Peter Parker should have chosen Ursula and not Mary Jane
“What’s meant for you won’t pass you by”
It’s a silly phrase but I do reach for it when faced with similar scenarios and have found it helpful
>Guys out there who’ve experienced similar, what helped get you over this?
What helped? Sorry do you have a choice? What other option is there?
As a woman who was looked over, let her be. When I finally got into a good relationship, he called me around 3am asking if he missed his chance.
Yes… yes, you did.
When she wanted to be with you, you looked right past her. Now, since she’s with someone else, you want the toy you can’t have. I feel that if she gave you a chance, you wouldn’t treat her right. You had the chance and didn’t. Now, you miss her attention.
Let her be and see the value in people the first time.
If I was you I would count that , you totally could have probably dated her or something maybe . But that counts so use it to lift you up a bit
The best you can do now is hope they are happy. Move on mate. Be happy with the fact that someone thought you are capable of being loved.
I gaurantee that you most definitely have other things to worry about over some random woman and a missed opportunity. I hate to be the rude/bad guy here but as a man you got more things to worry about and that girl gone. Done. Dusted. I had to be the bad guy here man but sorry this is for your own good.
Actually a tale as old as time. I’ve got the same regret with my best friend throughout highschool. I could have been happy with her, she’s one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met, but I was hung up on a girl who didn’t feel the same way. Then when I realized she was the best thing that never happened to me, because of me, it was too late.
With experience comes wisdom. Allow yourself to take the wisdom from this experience and do the smart thing next time.
OP, were you actually attracted to her though? I notice you keep using words like lovely, nice, smart. Those words don’t necessarily mean you were physically attracted.
you can’t. i’m not stuck in the past but every now and then i still remember it after years and cringe over myself for few seconds
Get yourself some nose powder and a brass, she will be a distant memory in no time.
Process your feelings, learn from them, and move on.
If you’re good enough to get an opportunity, you’ll find another at some point
I missed on many opportunities for being naive.
Its exactly like those tv dramas shows of the naive protagonist missing all the hints from the hot girl, or the meme “when you realized she was flirting with you 5 years later”
You learn, move on and realize that there are billions of women out there and life paths.
You appear to have learned from it. Now, just move on.
As others have said, learn from your mistakes and move on. There’s nothing you can do at this point. There’s always a chance you’ll have an opportunity with her again in the future, but it’s a slim chance and not something you should expect or plan for.
It sucks, dude. But we all deal with it at some point. You’ll get over it eventually, just learn from it and be ready to make a better decision next time.
Imagine she moved on. Now move along… sadly
Foolish man: “All women are hoes” ❌
Wise man: “All hoes are women” ✅
/s…(I am not a misogynist)
We never know if we missed an opportunity, or dodged a bullet.
You don’t. It’s not a problem: It’s just the situation. You had every opportunity, considered your chances and made a decision. To be frank, with that attitude you wouldn’t have been an outstanding partner either.
Your decision making has changed, and now you look back and wish you had made that change earlier. Take it for what it is: growth and consequences.
It wasn’t meant to be dude. Listen to Bad Habit and get over it and try again with the next girl.
Just learn from it and move on.
You’re not missing her, you’re missing the imagined idealised relationship you never had with her.
Move on bro… No medicine for regret.😔
Best way to get over love is to get fall in love with someone else.