I am 25 F and l’ve been single my whole life. I have always imagined myself to be happily married by the age of 25, however I have never been in an actual relationship till date because I never found “the one”.
I know age really shouldn’t matter but naturally I just tend to worry everytime I think about it and it has started to affect the way I think especially whenever I go out and meet people because I always go with an expectation of meeting “the one”. Mind you, I am a student and work full time, so I barely go out to meet friends (maybe 1-2 times in a year) so social connections are almost 0 for me.
I’ve heard from a lot of people that love will come to you at the most unexpected time. I am also quite a religious believer so l know God will bring the right person into my life at the right time. Which is why I really want to stop expecting anything and just go with the flow. But I am unable to control this expectation that I have and it has really started to get quite serious because I spend so much time overthinking about it. I’m also really scared of never being able to find someone I love or who loves me back the same way. I know having an expectation will never allow room for unexpected love to follow. What do I do about this? Any advice?
TL; DR – 25F who has been single her whole life, high expectations of finding love leading to lots of unhealthy overthinking. Advice to stop expecting so that love can find me at the unexpected time.
Comments
You’re too young to be worried about this.
Love comes at unexpected times when you actually meet people.
Your education and work are important, but you can’t expect to find romance if you only socialize twice a year.
Finding love is active work, you can’t just expect it to happen randomly. Going out 1-2 times a year isn’t enough.
Maybe try joining a hobby group, or installing some dating apps
Pray about it, ask God to help you focus to prepare for your husband while He prepares your husband so that y’all can meet. I was always told by older women who are happily married to make a list of all the things you want and need in a man (explicits included) and to pray over it. If it is in God’s will, your husband will meet you and you’ll both know it. However, you also have to be prepared for that to not even be in God’s will. If you read what Paul says in the Bible, he suggests that it’s better to stay single as it’s easier to focus on your relationship with God rather than anything else. I know that’s a hard one because we don’t wanna remain single forever. But there’s a verse in the Bible that says seek ye first the kingdom of God and everything else will be added unto you. Which means if you focus more on your relationship with God, He will bless you with the things you want and need within His will of course. So focus on school, make that list, pray, and ask God to prepare you for His will and to be able to accept it no matter what it is. God would never send you anyone that you wouldn’t like or vice versa. He created you so he knows exactly what you want and need in a man, including looks. Trust Him. Its normal to worry about it though, so don’t feel too bad. Hope this helps. Oh, and try to make some good female friends as well. Being lonely doing schoolwork all the time isn’t good for you either.
You need to stop with these childish notions of love and fate. Someone isn’t going to stumble into your lap like a meetcute in a movie. You have to put yourself out there and proactively take control of your lovelife. Don’t put pressure on every connection you make to be “the one”. Dating is a bit like trying on new shoes, some look good but give you blisters, others are really comfortable but they are safe and don’t excite you. You need to try on a few before you find what’s right for you. Right now you don’t have the first clue. So put your schedule to one side, get out there and learn. Have your heart broken. Break some hearts. Live your life.