I (27f) found something on my boyfriend’s (31m) phone. We have been together for 2.5 years and live together from the 3rd month. I weigh 90kgs and he wrote to chatgpt about getting turn off in the middle of sex because of my size. He wrote about imagining porn stars during sex as well. I came to know about it a month back. I spoke to him and he agrees to imagining someone from porn twice but didn’t agree to not being attracted to me or getting turned off during sex. He says that was long back and just a phase as he was watching lots of porn. I never doubted his attraction for me cause I see him getting turned on seeing and touching me so often. He treats me amazingly well and is literally obsessed with me. Last year the frequency of sex started decreasing and I asked him multiple times about it, he didn’t tell me once. I accept what he felt, that is not in his control but he didn’t tell me once. I felt this trust being shattered that i felt something was missing from this relationship I wanted to know what and didn’t get an answer after so many attempts. This year the sex frequency was good but then I read this and I do not feel comfortable at all with being sexual with him. Now he just started therapy only cause I insisted and I am feeling stuck in the middle. Not having the courage to break up or the trust to stay happily here. I will go to the same therapist for couple’s therapy but until I have clarity I feel a bit stressed.
TL;DR: Having doubts about the relationship after discovering something on my boyfriend’s
phone.