How to talk to girls?

r/

18-year-old guy. Girls seem to be okay being friends, but I don’t know what breaks the barrier between how girls distinguish friend and potential dating prospect. Aside from looks of course, and that’s not something I wish to discuss here. What behaviour, what do you say to her, that kinda stuff?

Comments

  1. pleddyd Avatar

    Offer to go on a date

  2. VinceInOhio129 Avatar

    Honestly, you kinda have to mask the fact you think they’re attractive. You almost have to seem like you’re not that interested. And lead with warm confidence when talking to them. And what you say depends entirely on set and setting, like what’s relevant to what’s going on.

  3. Longjumping-Oil-7419 Avatar

    Become friends but throw in some flirting. Ask her on a date

  4. AdmiralVeers15 Avatar

    Confidence and humor is a dangerous combination that turns any pair of underwear into a swamp! Balance those two and then close the deal!

  5. Most_Quality_423 Avatar

    I think you just gotta have real conversations, and show genuine interest in her thoughts and opinions. Don’t think of it as a potential date, treat her like you would treat yourself 🙂

  6. noruber35393546 Avatar

    You have to have the confidence to ask them out. Chat with her briefly, then ask her on a date. If she says no, move on swiftly.

  7. dragonstomper01 Avatar

    Just talk to them. They’re not cryptids. They’re just people.

  8. InspectionHeavy91 Avatar

    Honestly, the shift usually comes from showing clear (but respectful) intent. Flirty banter, subtle compliments, or just asking her to hang one-on-one in a more date-like setting can help make your interest clear. Staying in “just friends” territory often comes from playing it too safe..

  9. Awkward_Theorist Avatar

    If you can make her laugh, and she can make you laugh – that is pretty much all you need. To me if I can get to that point with a girl that I am interested in, that’s my queue to ask her out.

    Laughter is Life.

    Also if you guys are just hanging out normally, you can drop hints by opening the door for her, letting her walk a head of you, helping her put her coat on, etc etc. Girls love that stuff. It isn’t a formula to follow – more of a that’s the kind of respect woman really appreciate, and if you see the girl as a potential partner, start treating her as such from the get go.

    When it comes to asking her out, don’t make it too romantic. Make it sound fun and casual to ease into it but for the love of god don’t take her to the movies – worst place for a first date. Take her somewhere ya’ll can talk. For example with my current GF: our first day I took her to a park and bought a bunch of paint supplies, and we painted in the park together, and then went to grab dinner.

  10. johnnyarctorhands Avatar

    This is going to sound obvious, but if you want to escalate physically, you have to… drum roll… escalate physically. If you’re already building friendships with girls who want to hang out with you then you just need to learn how to escalate physically. This can be simple things like hugging when you first see them, playful touching and pushing/pulling them around. Always be teasing. These are simple things, and there’s literally chapters and books on techniques and little games(hand slap, thumb wrestling, etc) you can use to engage in playful, low risk touching. Always make sure to gauge her response and adjust accordingly. Don’t keep forcing if it’s making her uncomfortable but don’t make a big deal about it and don’t be afraid to try again if the vibe improves. Another good way to escalate a relationship from plutonic to sexual is to go on adventures. This doesn’t mean big extravagant trips, just try to do multiple things during one date/hangout. You could start with coffee, then take her to your favorite book/art gallery/record/whatever store (this is gonna sounds super silly, but take a girl to a hallmark store and have her help you pick out a birthday/thankyou card for your grandma and watch her melt lol) go for a walk in a park or downtown or whatever you’re environment is. Grab a bite to eat, then maybe music or a movie. then cap it off with more coffee. The reason this works is because when you do a bunch of stuff in one day she gets to see you in a variety of scenarios which will increase comfort and familiarity. It’s basically company onboarding if you know anything about that. Get her to give you advice or teach you something or help you with something. Believe it or not asking a girl to help you move is a good move lol. This is kind of icky and probably pretty misogynistic by today’s standards, but I know a guy who used to ask girls to come over and clean his place. He would kind of make it a joke but they would be down to do it and then often times they’d end up hooking up. For that to work they already kind of have to like you, but you’re creating a comfortable and intimate situation where you two can spend some time alone. Honestly there’s so much when it comes to relationships that are totally unintuitive and goes against what is spread through the mainstream but these are some things to try out. The biggest thing to remember is to just have fun, not for her sake, but for your own. If the girl you like doesn’t vibe, move on, there are literally 4 billion fish in the sea. Life is short and in a lot of ways it’s honestly kind of a big joke, but it’s important to make sure that you’re the one laughing and not the one being laughed at unless of course you’re laughing at yourself which we all need to do from time to time. Wow, didn’t mean to write a whole manual here. Alright that’s all for now. Namaste, amigo. Go have some fun.

  11. LCxxxPT Avatar

    If you catch her alone is a good chance to say Hello and then…say something like: regarding school / class, if she’s busy at The moment, ” hey at lunch can we go some place” , whatever…just say something, at least Try, without trying you never know what can happen

  12. Intelligent_Method32 Avatar

    Women love money more than anything. So get lots of money. Problem solved.

  13. Sad_Cauliflower8294 Avatar

    Be funny .. joke around if it clicks it clicks or move on.
    You can always sends fun risky message or share a meme which helps breaking that awkward talk barrier

  14. wootangAlpha Avatar

    Be direct. No need for flaff and fluffer. Ask her out and tell her why you are asking her out. There’s no formula, there never has been. If its a no, its cool, walk away. If it is a yes, congrats, good luck to you.

  15. fostermonster555 Avatar

    For me, being friends is an absolute pre-requisite. If you want more, you’re going to have to pluck up the courage to ask them out

  16. Diligent-Seaweed-360 Avatar

    Keep ur intention clear and clear means crystal clear (if i want to date uh i want to , and dunoo wanaa be friends )
    And thats it your body will react accordingly

  17. Imaginary_Dare6831 Avatar

    One tip I’d give is practice how to approach a girl by asking any woman you are close with whether a friend, mom, sis, cousin, etc. #1 complaint I hear from girls is the way the guy approaches them comes off too strong. The key is to approach them casually and build a friendship so she could know u better

  18. Mediocre_Buddy3172 Avatar

    Depends on your country and attachment type of both.

    I’m from Chile. Here you CAN’T do it like in the movies (take her on dates, and then ask her if she would like to take a more serious relationship).

    Here, you hang out randomly (You don’t even say its a date, just hang out). Suddenly, if she is interested, she will let herself be available to be stolen a kiss, grab her by a hug in a romantic landscape, or simply she will let you “accidentally” touch her in a non friend-ish way.

    Anyways, any type of confirmation is non-verbal, because Chile’s dating culture is like that. Even if anything like I said above occurs, you should not yet ask to confirm if they want something with you, because they would see you as desperate.

    If she wants something with you, she will give you the talk.

    So, if you would like to date someone, and you can’t do it as you expressed (which I also tried in the past), you should just take risks.

    • Hug her at the end of the date, watching a beautiful sunset.
    • Kiss her (foolishly) on the hand, and hug her hand as you let her on her place, saying something cheesy.
    • If both are alone, try getting as close as possible without making her inmediatly uncomfortable (watch out for her reaction. As soon as you both get comfortable side to side, watch her in the eyes, and talk something trivial. Then say a compliment in a cheesy way (so if she is uncomfortable, she can decline your compliment), like “you know what, your eyes remind me of chocolate”. If she likes your compliment, keep watching her, and S L O W L Y, approach. If she wants, she will let herself be kissable.

    If she likes it, you will know.

    However, the best tip is not to watch out if she likes it (you will be trying unconciously to please her, which could make you see as desperate). Watch out for whenever she feels uncomfortable.

    Watch out she makes an “ew” face.

    For example:

    • if she doesnt like to be hugged, she will get out of the hug. If she likes it, she will snuggle inside your arm.
    • If she doesnt like your hand kiss, she will say bye or try to get out. If she likes it, she will laugh, and let you do all your show to say goodbye.
    • If she is uncomfortable getting too close, she will make a distraction or excuse herself doing something else. If she is comfortable, maybe even she will kiss you first.

    We live in a weird era. Men doesn’t know how to act, and women doesn’t know how to react, when we both want the same: love.

  19. Longjumping-Bear-147 Avatar

    Be interesting guy. If you were a girl, why would you chose you ? Be yourself ofc but show the best version of you. Have fun don’t try to date or anything, make the other person to trust you, this takes time. Offer to help them with their things and show interest in their interests. I guess after you gonna have to see. Does she initiate conversations? Is she curious about you ? Does she ask you to hang out ? You will get the hints from them if you keep your eyes open. When you see those hints, one day casually ask her for more serious date. Like lets go to dinner. But don’t make yourself look unsure or your voice trembling. Be confident lol. After that, either you kiss her without sayin anything because she gets close to you and you feel the room, or if she is shy and doesn’t show these things, tell her AGAIN casually how you feel about her, don’t shake like a fish when you tell her. I started from getting 0 girls to taking all the girls. It took practice and many failed attempts. Is okay if you mess up, plenty fish in the sea.

  20. HaIfhearted Avatar

    Just do it! Doesn’t have to be particularly witty or clever just be straightforward.

    And don’t take it personal when you are rejected, just move on to the next one.

  21. Ok_Prior329 Avatar

    u just open youre mouth