my best friend is a hairstylist and has been cutting my hair for about 3 years now but i want to see someone else. how do i explain it to her?
she is quite sensitive and i’m worried she’ll take it personally. it’s not that she’s bad at what she does but she’s just not the stylist for me. she also doesn’t work in a salon and i’m sick of getting my hair cut in my kitchen.
if this was any other stylist i’d just never schedule with them again, but since it’s my close friend she’ll obviously see me with my hair cut not by her… i’m so stressed about it. help!
Comments
REMINDER: Rules regarding civility and respect are enforced on this subreddit. Hurtful, cruel, rude, disrespectful, or “trolling” comments will be removed (along with any replies to these comments) and the offending party may be banned, at the mods’ discretion, without warning. All commenters should be trying to help and any help should be given in good faith, as if you were the OP’s parent. Also, please keep in mind that requesting or offering private contact (DM, PM, etc) is absolutely not allowed for any reason at all, no exceptions.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Have an honest conversation with her. Explain that you love her and think she is a good stylist, but that you want the salon experience.
How’s this sound?
“Hi, I really appreciate you cutting my hair for all these years but I want to try something different with my hair, so I’m going to go check out another stylist!” and then maybe offer to hang out in some other way when you would normally meet up.
Maybe tell as much of the truth as you can without hurting her feelings. “I am going to go to Salon Vavoom for a change. You’re great and I appreciate you, but I’m craving the whole salon experience. I miss it. I realize that getting my hair cut for me isn’t just about the cut but about being super pampered, and I am going to go indulge in that experience.”
like other person said, emphasize the salon experience. if you truly feel you cannot be fully honest with her, say you really were looking for more than a haircut, and wanted to relax in the comfy chair and be pampered. maybe even say the salon offered eyebrow waxing or certain hair treatment that requires equipment only a salon would have so its less about her and her work and more about the experience you’re seeking.
Rather than telling her that you don’t want her, tell her that someone you met raved about their hair dresser and you hope she doesn’t mind if you give that stylist a try.
She is going to be sensitive about it (unless she secretly hates cutting your hair) and you can’t avoid that. She is responsible for her feelings. You are only responsible for offering her your reasons gently and being respectful. You can’t go on and on like this just to avoid hurt feelings.
“Hey, I know you usually cut my hair, but would you mind if I tried something different/change it up? I want to start going to the salon again.”
Maybe make it a fun thing for you both? Say something about wanting to try out something/someone new and see if she would like to come too. You guys could make it into a bi monthly thing to go check out the competition.
Im a stylist and dont care if my friends go to other places. I love other stylists work too! Just dont expect me to drop what im doing to fix it if they royaly F it up.
Just do it. 🤷
As a hair stylist, who’s best friend is a pretty sensitive hair stylist, be honest. Just say hey it’s not convenient for me and I wanna try a real salon experience. She’ll probably be a little upset but if she has any professionalism and friendship, she’ll understand and move on.
This is kind of hilarious. If my friends and family all stopped asking me to fix their PCs or troubleshoot their networks or jailbreak their phones I’d be ecstatic to not have to do work outside of work.
You received a gift card for a salon and used it.
My stylist said she doesn’t get mad when people leave her even her friends. I also did have a friend cutting my hair at one point but it was like 45 mins from my house so I just said I wanted somewhere closer. I know you can’t do that because your kitchen is really close 🤣
I feel like I could have written this post! Haha. My best friend has been cutting and coloring mine for a decade, give or take. And it’s not personal, I just want a salon day instead of sticking my head in my utility sink to rinse. Plus I want to book online for an appointment during regular business hours instead of having to coordinate both our schedules.
If anyone is telling you to just be honest, I tried that and she guilt tripped me because she likes doing it to keep her skills fresh and to hang out. But she doesn’t realize the hair thing is the reason we never hang out for any other reason. If I got my hair done elsewhere, I’d make time to hang out for brunch or something where neither of us has to work during the hang out.
My solution? After going to a new salon I just told her I cut myself (which is plausible because I used to cut myself often). I hope at some point when there’s enough distance from the routine of doing it together, I can just say I found a new salon at that point after doing myself for awhile and it won’t sting so much after some time has passed.
I think it’s more you asking yourself “How does a decent friend respond to this?”
At some level maybe you’re expecting she’ll blow up.
At another level you probably know a decent friend might be a little disappointed but will not blow up.
And it’s hard to face the two expectations at once.
Others have given you good advice on how to be tactful and kind when letting her know you’ll be going to a salon from now on.
Be direct and kind and remember you don’t need her permission to get your hair done at a salon. You’re giving her a heads up because she’s your friend.
You can’t control whether or not she gets her feelings hurt and they aren’t yours to manage.
in my opinion I would just go get your hair cut in a salon and not tell her at all and then if she notices your hair is different just be like oh yeah I went to this salon
If she’s really your friend she’ll understand that it’s no big deal and you can get your hair cut wherever you want.
It’s your hair for Christ sakes. If she gets upset it’s not her being sensitive,its manipulation.
Have a family member get you a gift card to a hair salon. You have to use it!
Have an honest and open discussion with her and tell her she’s done nothing wrong you would like to experience the salon feeling.