Throwaway because my roommate knows about my main.
So I (25F) am not sure how to tell my my roommate (19F) that I don’t want to renew the lease with her but I don’t plan on moving out (I’ve been here two years and found the place, and she replaced my previous roommate when they moved in with their girlfriend last year).
Her and her boyfriend (18M – he’s not on the lease but basically lives here cuz he’s over ALL THE DAMN TIME) are shitty roommates. Her boyfriend doesn’t do ANYTHING to contribute besides help pay for utilities because they’ve gone up A LOT since he’s over all the time. They don’t clean and pretty much stay in their room. When they do clean it’s to take the trash when I ask her to (because I’ve done all the other cleaning in the house), and I have to remind her several times to do it. They sometimes cook food but don’t clean their dishes after. I have split custody of my 4 year old and work full time (my bedroom is big so my kid has their own bed to sleep in when they’re here), so I’m also not the best at keeping up with the dishes, but I’m still the one to do them and other chores around the house like clean the bathroom and vacuum and stuff.
They also just leave my packages or groceries that have been delivered on the doorstep when they get home or leave, like literally step over it. One time I had a lot of groceries delivered and it got delivered sooner than I thought so I wasn’t home, but they were, and they left to get food shortly after the delivery and saw the groceries (it was mostly soda – like six 24 packs – and snacks for a bday party I was helping host at the apartment clubhouse) and just walked by them. Her boyfriend even pointed out how much stuff I’d gotten. I know this because we have a doorbell camera and got notified that the groceries had arrived and then saw them leave like ten minutes later. Work had also been busy so I didn’t even see the doorbell alert or groceries until like an hour after it all happened. I probably should have let her know stuff was being delivered at some point in the day and to bring them in when they got there, but again work had busy and I wasn’t even able to check my notifications or able to send a text or and they’d already left by the time I had a chance to look at my phone.
The place I’m in now is a steal. Rent is way cheaper than other places in the area that are the same size, and the perks are great (new really nice washer and dryer in unit, neighbors are great (I’m friends with them but my roommates aren’t), we have a pool and hot tub in the complex, and water and trash are paid by the landlord so we only pay for internet and electricity.
My dilemma is that I’m not sure how to tell my roommate and her boyfriend that I don’t want to renew the lease with them and would like them to move out when the lease ends (it ends in Feb so they’d have more than enough time to find a new place). I know I can’t evict them or anything, but I feel like since I found the place and have built a relationship with the landlord and have been here longer, that they should be the ones to move out.
On top of that, I have some good friends who are looking to move to the town I live in (we work together and they want to live closer to work since they live over an hour away right now) and I was thinking of how much better of roommates they’d be (they’re 25F and 28M) because they’re responsible and know how to be roommates (current roommates lived with their parents previously), and was thinking of having them move in to replace my roommates.
I can’t afford this place completely on my own and they pay me their portion of rent and I just send a single check to our landlord, but the utilities are all in my name. Everything else in the house is also mine (furniture, dishes, etc.)
So how can I tell my roommates that I don’t want to live with them anymore/renew the lease with them and want to possibly replace them when the lease is up for everyone?
Sorry for such a long post, I just wanted to give as much context as I could and get stuff off my chest.
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Backup of the post’s body: Throwaway because my roommate knows about my main.
So I (25F) am not sure how to tell my my roommate (19F) that I don’t want to renew the lease with her but I don’t plan on moving out (I’ve been here two years and found the place, and she replaced my previous roommate when they moved in with their girlfriend last year).
Her and her boyfriend (18M – he’s not on the lease but basically lives here cuz he’s over ALL THE DAMN TIME) are shitty roommates. Her boyfriend doesn’t do ANYTHING to contribute besides help pay for utilities because they’ve gone up A LOT since he’s over all the time. They don’t clean and pretty much stay in their room. When they do clean it’s to take the trash when I ask her to (because I’ve done all the other cleaning in the house), and I have to remind her several times to do it. They sometimes cook food but don’t clean their dishes after. I have split custody of my 4 year old and work full time (my bedroom is big so my kid has their own bed to sleep in when they’re here), so I’m also not the best at keeping up with the dishes, but I’m still the one to do them and other chores around the house like clean the bathroom and vacuum and stuff.
They also just leave my packages or groceries that have been delivered on the doorstep when they get home or leave, like literally step over it. One time I had a lot of groceries delivered and it got delivered sooner than I thought so I wasn’t home, but they were, and they left to get food shortly after the delivery and saw the groceries (it was mostly soda – like six 24 packs – and snacks for a bday party I was helping host at the apartment clubhouse) and just walked by them. Her boyfriend even pointed out how much stuff I’d gotten. I know this because we have a doorbell camera and got notified that the groceries had arrived and then saw them leave like ten minutes later. Work had also been busy so I didn’t even see the doorbell alert or groceries until like an hour after it all happened. I probably should have let her know stuff was being delivered at some point in the day and to bring them in when they got there, but again work had busy and I wasn’t even able to check my notifications or able to send a text or and they’d already left by the time I had a chance to look at my phone.
The place I’m in now is a steal. Rent is way cheaper than other places in the area that are the same size, and the perks are great (new really nice washer and dryer in unit, neighbors are great (I’m friends with them but my roommates aren’t), we have a pool and hot tub in the complex, and water and trash are paid by the landlord so we only pay for internet and electricity.
My dilemma is that I’m not sure how to tell my roommate and her boyfriend that I don’t want to renew the lease with them and would like them to move out when the lease ends (it ends in Feb so they’d have more than enough time to find a new place). I know I can’t evict them or anything, but I feel like since I found the place and have built a relationship with the landlord and have been here longer, that they should be the ones to move out.
On top of that, I have some good friends who are looking to move to the town I live in (we work together and they want to live closer to work since they live over an hour away right now) and I was thinking of how much better of roommates they’d be (they’re 25F and 28M) because they’re responsible and know how to be roommates (current roommates lived with their parents previously), and was thinking of having them move in to replace my roommates.
I can’t afford this place completely on my own and they pay me their portion of rent and I just send a single check to our landlord, but the utilities are all in my name. Everything else in the house is also mine (furniture, dishes, etc.)
So how can I tell my roommates that I don’t want to live with them anymore/renew the lease with them and want to possibly replace them when the lease is up for everyone?
Sorry for such a long post, I just wanted to give as much context as I could and get stuff off my chest.
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It’s gonna suck, but straight up honesty is probs the best route. Dont just ghost or beat around the bush.
You just tell them that at the end of the lease term that you’ll be taking the whole apartment as your child is getting bigger and needs their own bedroom. Chances are damned good that they can’t afford to keep that place on their own either and don’t have the credit or income to secure the place on their own. Plus, they won’t know one way or another if your child actually takes the room or if you get another roomate and frankly it’s none of their business either.
Just lie. Is her name even on the lease or is she kind of subletting the spare room?
How will two kids get the utilities in their name too? There’s zero way they can fund staying there without a co-signer. Don’t overthink it.
*Added and edited a word.
You’re going to have to just sit them down and tell them. Sooner than later.
Also, look at the laws in your area and find out what your rights are and what their rights are in case they give you a hard time.
Find a new roommate. Find your spine and tell her you have someone else moving in. Mention that she and her boyfriend would be happier living on their own. Be there for the move out to protect your property. Good luck!
If you’re both on the lease, you don’t get to tell her she needs to move out. Sorry. You have equal claim to stay in the apartment. You can certainly ask her where she plans to live next year. But if she says “I’m gonna stay here,” then it’s incumbent on you to move out.
How about, Hey our lease is coming due in February, and I’m letting you know now so you have time to find another place, I will not be renewing my lease with you.
Straight forward, to the point. Don’t get into the whys, just keep it simple and honest.
If you have a relationship with the landlord, why don’t you tell him you’re looking for another unit, possibly more affordable. I understand needing a roommate in a HCOL but like it was stated she has equal rights to the apt.
You go straight to the leasing office and start a new lease with your new people.
Get it all set up and signed so your lease has new people on it.
Then you tell your housemates in writing and in person.
That should do it.
are only you on the lease with landlord? Then tell them that you will not be renewing their sublet at the end of the term.
“Hey, I want to let you know now so you can make plans when the lease is up. I will not be renewing with you so you will need to find another place.”
If your roommate is on the lease too then tell the landlord she has been letting her boyfriend stay X days out of the week.
Tell her you are not going to renew the lease with her and tell her the move out deadline. Don’t give her any more information than that. Tell her you signed up for one roommate, not two, and it would be better if they found something for the two of them.
If you are both on the lease, then you have no right to tell her to move out. You can say you are thinking about moving in with a friend, and if they want to keep the place, they can, or they can find a new place and your friend will move in. Maybe they will cave and move out, maybe not.
Realistically, it might be best for you and your friend to just find a new place and start fresh.
Yea it may be uncomfortable but ya just gotta do have the conversation. Maybe they will agree to go quietly. If not, maybe ask the LL if they have another unit in the complex available anytime soon.
Grow a spine and make sure you start eviction proceedings.
“I’m not renewing YOUR lease. Here is the official eviction paperwork. You need to be out by X day.”
Give her the number of days required and ensure that she’s out. Pay her back her deposits, etc.
You’re not wrong for wanting better roommates it sounds like they’re not pulling their weight, and that’s exhausting. The simplest way is to be direct but calm. Just tell her something like: Hey, I’ve been thinking about the lease renewal, and I’ve decided I’m going to stay here but find a different roommate for next year. I wanted to let you know now so you have plenty of time to find a new place.
You don’t need to list every reason unless she asks just keep it about what you need, not what she’s done wrong. It’s your home too, and it’s okay to want a better living situation.
Just rip off the band-aid already. Pro tip: sugarcoat it with ‘It’s not you, it’s me…I just need some personal space.’ Honestly, we’ve all been cooped up for way too long ‘cause of this COVID sitch.
I can see why you needed to get all that off their chest. I think I would go talk to the landlord. It’s going to depend on a few things. If your roomates name is on the lease, it could be an issue. If it’s totally only your name on there anyway I’d just tell them ‘I won’t be renewing the lease with you two. I just wanted to give you as much time as possible to find a place’. If thye react badly then for sure go to the landlord. Tell him ‘the girl I live with started having her boyfriend over and now he practicaly lives there. I don’t want to renew with them but I’d like to keep the apartment.’ On moving day get their crap out on the lawn and have the locks changed. Get your landlord to back you up. Hope all goes well with that.
I would start by talking to the landlord. Let them know that you have an extra off lease roommate right now. I’d be incredibly annoyed myself and wouldn’t stand for that. Odds are she’s breaking lease terms by doing so, and so are you by not alerting the landlord.
Worry about that before you worry about next year.
If you’re both on the lease she has just as much of a right to stay as you do. So have a plan B in place where you’re the one who moves out.
Back in my early 20s I had two roommates and one was just awful. Me and my other roommate decided to ask him to move out but he refused. We said if he didn’t then we’d both go, knowing he couldn’t afford the full rent on his own.
He dug his heels in and said he was staying. So we moved out and got removed from the lease. No idea how (or if) he was able to pay the rent but it wasn’t our problem anymore
Maybe speak to the lanlord since you have a good connection with him and tell him your situation? Then you can begin the new leasing process with your new roommates and tell your current roommate how you won’t be releasing with her.
If she gives you any problems just tell her the landlord doesn’t want to renew her lease because she broke it by having her boyfriend live there.
Thank you for paragraphs. You are my new best friend.
Go to your landlord and renew the lease with someone else then tell her she’s no longer on the lease as of such and such day and will need to be out.
You just tell your roommate all the stuff you list of here. I wouldn’t renew the least no matter what they say after what you’ve seen and been through.
Question: If OP and roommate are both on the lease, does OP have the authority to tell her she has to move out, rather than OP moving out? How would that work? Since OP isn’t the landlord or the only person on the lease, how does she get to decide what the other person on the lease does? Aren’t they equals if they are both paying rent and on the lease?
Since OP has been on the lease longer, I would first approach landlord about wanting to renew with a different roommate. Then I would let current roommate know that they will not be in the new lease and need to start looking.
You have a good relationship with your landlord you said, talk to them and explain you do not want to renew the lease with her and you’d rather get a new roommate in the future, not her and her freeloading boyfriend. You could also ask to be moved to a different unit in the building if one is available.
Tell her now you will not be renewing the lease with her and she needs to start looking for a new place to live. Get her started.
What does your lease say about overnight guests? How long are they allowed to stay? You could use that as an excuse to get them out if your landlord works with you.
Roommate is on the lease. So you both have an equal claim. Ask her if she wants to move out bc you are not renewing with her. If she says no, tell her she will have to pay everything bc you are leaving at the end of the lease.
Have you checked your lease agreement to see if her boyfriend can just move in like that? Some leases prohibit that. If so, the landlord might kick her out.
Can you see if there are any one bedrooms in your complex? Then, just tell her (don’t need to include the boyfriend. He isn’t your roommate or guest. He is just a freeloader) you will not be renewing the lease and she will be on her own on Feb 1st.
Either way, talk to your landlord or property manager. Explain that you want to renew but not with your current roommate. They should be able to tell you what your options are.
Get your landlord’s advice. He probably appreciates you as a tenant and as long as you are capable financially, I’m sure he’d like to get rid of the slob and her grifter.
Question: why haven’t you let the landlord know the boyfriend is living there? I’m sure it’s a breach of the lease to have extra people in the unit. Maybe she’ll decide to look for a different place with her boyfriend.
Get the landlord involved and have him write a letter that she needs to move out for violating the lease by having an extra person in there. Have him refuse to let her sign on your lease. They sound so shoddy.
I lived with a guy and he held the lease. We didn’t hate each other but we were just different and I partied more and was a little more messy. He reached out when we got close to needing to renew and asked if we could talk. He basically said “hey I thought about it and I think I’d like to try to find another roommate. I didn’t think this was a great fit for either of us. I wish you the best” it stung for a minute but I appreciated the honesty. I said “ok I wish you the best as well. I’ll be out at the end of my term.” We were cordial going forward. I loved out and moved in with two guys that were way more like
Me and we were all happier. You have one life to live: you owe it to yourself to do what works for you. You made an agreement. You’re going to see that agreement through but you’re not willing to make a new agreement. These are grown up things and you’re a grown up.
You’re just gonna have to have that tough conversation.
If you’re friends with the landlord, just have the landlord tell them he’s not renewing their lease. They can even frame it that they weren’t supposed to have someone else living there (the boyfriend) without permission from the landlord.
I had a shitty roommate too. I lied and told him I was moving out so he would have to lol