What parts of the experience did you most enjoy or dislike?
Did you feel appreciated? Did it make you want to do it again?
How was your experience being a bridesmaid or Maid of Honor?
r/AskWomen
What parts of the experience did you most enjoy or dislike?
Did you feel appreciated? Did it make you want to do it again?
Comments
HATED being a bridesmaid. Lots of work for minimal enjoyment. Much better to be a guest!
It was for a family friend from my childhood that I’d reconnected with. I was one of three bridesmaids.
I was afraid I’d hate the dress, but I actually didn’t mind it. It was a subtle shade of purple and it was off the shoulder. I rocked that look when I didn’t expect to.
There were two other events that happened that were especially memorable to me. First, it was the first time my SO met my deaf sister, who had flown across the country to be there. My SO surprised us both by signing to her! He’d spent the last six months learning ASL in secret so he could talk to her directly without relying on me as interpreter. That’s some mad respect!
Then later, the MoH asked us if we were planning to get married. We hadn’t discussed it yet but it was pretty clear we were moving in that direction. He looked at me, smiled, and then told her, “I’m optimistic!” He proposed three weeks later:)
I’ve only been a maid of honour for my sister, and it was great and pretty low-key.
My family are the kings and queens of event planning, and so it’s natural to all just pitch in as much as possible. We aren’t that fancy either. So it didn’t bother me to have to spend a weekend putting together centerpieces or decorating the hall the day before the wedding. And my sister didn’t expect me to spend money that I didn’t have – my bridesmaid dress, we got from a pretty cheap dress shop and I was allowed to decide the style as long as it fit a colour scheme. For my sister’s Bachelorette party, we did a glamping trip at a lakefront cabin that was inexpensive once all the guests contributed $100, and we got an entire weekend out of it unlike some of the expensive parties I hear that cost each guest thousands.
I didn’t really feel like I had any responsibilities at the wedding itself. Other than participating in the ceremony, and checking in with my sister a few times, I was free to party and enjoy myself.
I was a bridesmaid for my cousin when I was 9ish years old and I HATED it. Mainly because I’m not really a smiley kind of person, and 9 year old me didn’t fully realize that I was supposed to smile the whole time. Reletives were really upset about it, meanwhile my cousin and her husband didnt care that much. So now there a bunch of dramatic photos of my cousin and her husband, with me in the background deadpanning while everyone is smiling lol.
I have done it twice and had a great time at the weddings and at pre-wedding events. I really like both of my dresses. I recently said yes to doing it for a third time.
I loved it. I was a bridesmaid for my best friend. The only thing was I was getting paid very minimally and I just started paying my student loans and there was a lot of expenses. My best friend was such a calm and relaxed bride that it wasn’t stressful at all
It was a lot of fun but sooo expensive!!! And now a year and a half later, that friend is getting divorced đź’”
Nerve wrecking! I am so shy and knowing I had to give a Maid of Honor speech took a few drinks and minimal eye contact lmao
Its not happening yet, wil be late of April and i feel stressed and pressured already. Never heard that Main of Honors should help out with the plannings and fittings and other things. I dont want to be rude to back out, all i want is to be a happy props on the background.
Expensive and not worth it at all.
Wouldn’t do it again.
Bridesmaid for a childhood friend’s wedding. The dress was strapless and a light purple. The top didn’t fit because I’m pretty small chested so I had to buy a special bra and chicken cutlets to fill it out. I was very uncomfortable in the dress. The bride was stressed to the max because the groom had spent the morning nursing a hangover and smoking copious amounts of pot (they got divorced years later, he’s a real loser). I hope I never have to be a bridesmaid again.
I was my sister’s maid of honor at 16 and I had absolutely no idea what I was doing, our sister in law ended up doing most of my responsibilities. I have a feeling I would like it a lot more now that I’m a little older
I didn’t enjoy it and would not have my own MOHs or.bridesmaid.
I was a bridesmaid for an old friend at the time for a destination wedding. 3 days before the wedding, there was an issue that ended up snowballing between the bride to be and the MOH and best man. The issue did not end up getting resolved, which lead to the best man and MOH walking out of the bridal party 2 nights before the wedding. Although I enjoyed the scenery of the chosen destination, I just hated being a part of the bridal party in the end due to all the drama that ensued.
Honestly hate it. So much work so much money so much drama. Can’t say how much you hate it tho because it’s bad to say it but it’s the truth. I get happy not being asked now and I turned down a few. I know they were upset but being a new mom in a different state I couldn’t mentally physically and financially do it
I loved being the Maid of honour, helped my bestie with everything and made sure she had a perfect day.
Being a bridesmaid was better than being a bride in my experience.
I wouldnt want to do either again lol
I did not like being either, but it was nice to be asked, if that makes sense. It was special to my friends that wanted me in their wedding. I’ve been a bridesmaid a couple times and maid of honor once. When it was my turn, I made it super easy for my bridesmaids. I paid for their dresses and jewelry. I let the pick whatever dress/shoes they wanted, they all didn’t have to be the same, just the same or similar purples. I didn’t require special hair or makeup and nobody was obligated to get me gifts, attend any bachelorette dealios, nor throw me a shower. I did have those things, but it was voluntary and not all of them came to everything, because no worries on my part. Thanks for standing with me in a purple dress, it meant the world.
I was a bridesmaid once. I really didn’t have to do much because my friend lived 12 hours away. When she called me to ask, she told me I already had a dress I could wear, so it was pretty low-key on my end.
I didn’t super enjoy the experience (not a fan of dressing up, being in front of people, or being in pictures), but I was happy to do it for her. We’ve been friends a long time; so although I didn’t find it fun, I’m glad I did it. 🙂
I’ve been in 9 weddings, including my own. They all happened in the late 80s-90s, so stuff wasn’t as expensive then. Didn’t do bachelorette parties, the dresses weren’t expensive, and I only had to travel for 2 of them. For the most part, I enjoyed it, but I was young and wanted to be supportive of my friends.
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I’ve been MOH twice for friends and a bridesmaid for my cousins 3 times. The only wedding that was memorable was the last time I was MOH for a good friend of mine in 2010. It was also one of the best weddings I attended. The other weddings were nothing more than an expensive waste of money.
Expensive.
I’ve been in four weddings in the past like 7 years. I was maid of honor in two. Dresses, shoes, makeup, parties. It’s a lot of money and time committed to a party. At least for my sister and SIL they were overly grateful, my friends were less so.
I had a great time!
We were allowed to pick whatever dress we wanted, as long as it was black. There was very minimal effort on my part (just a quick rehearsal for the day of). And we got our accommodations on the house since we (my ex and I) were part of the wedding party! It was a great time. Top 3 weddings I’ve ever been to.
Awesome. I was bridesmaids for my two best friends and they were mine. I don’t really understand why some people have trouble with it. If they aren’t best friends why are you doing it? and if they aren’t shitty people why are you friends?
One of the rare times I agreed to be one, I was kicked out of the bridal party only to listen to the bride complaining to me about her other bridesmaids. One thing lead to another and eventually we stopped being friends after she actually got married.Â
Expensive both times. My brother got married last year and had a destination wedding. I was a bridesmaid and required to chip in for the bridal shower. I did not go or contribute to the destination bachelorette party. My SIL bought all bridesmaids a pair of earrings to wear. All other expenses were on us- travel to the wedding, hair, makeup, shoes, dress. I did not feel appreciated, my SIL expected wedding/bridal shower gifts from her bridesmaids on top of everything else. I didn’t have bridesmaids at my wedding bc I felt bad asking that of someone, I would have covered majority of expenses for my bridesmaids if I could have afforded to have them. Â
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Honestly, being a bridesmaid can either be the most fun or the most hellish experience ever, no in-between. You’re basically expected to be a personal assistant with a smile plastered on your face the whole time. I mean, I loved the open bar and getting to dress up, but dealing with bride-to-be drama? Snooze fest. Spending an insane amount of money on a dress you’ll never wear again is kinda crazy if you ask me. And let’s not even talk about the group chats that never end. Sure, it’s nice to support a friend on their big day, but sometimes it feels less like an honor and more like unpaid labor. Let’s just say I wouldn’t rush to do it again unless it’s for a ride-or-die friend.
Terrible, the main reason I didn’t like experiencing being one of her bridesmaids is because I KNEW she was having doubts, she didn’t really want to marry him, and was only marrying him for a very specific reason, she’d broke down and told me all of this 2 days before she got married. I had no idea how to act or what to say.
I told her if she didn’t love him, don’t marry him. But she said she had to.
My loyalty stood with her because she was my best friend, I watched her marry that guy, knowing she didn’t love him, and I kept my mouth shut because she begged me not to say anything, so I didn’t.
They divorced in less than a year.
Too expensive
I hate being a bridesmaid. The expectations couples have these days for their wedding party is insane.
I have been in a handful of wedding parties (5) over the last decade and another one soon.. It’s always expensive! While I appreciate that my friends wanted to include me in their parties, the additional planning stresses me out. I’m glad I haven’t had too many catty experiences – but I feel like it often creates tension trying to get a group of friends/people together to agree on bachelorettes, bridal showers and outfits when people are often in different walks of life. I do hope to get married one day, but I don’t think I want a wedding party because I want my friends to just come celebrate as they are!
I was a bridesmaid a lot of times already, didn’t hate even one of it. I actually love going to weddings and getting all dressed up in pretty gowns with makeup.
The last wedding I was a bridesmaid in made me vow to absolutely decline any other invitation to do so forever.
I was about 10 years older than everyone else in the party (the bride and I had become pretty close work friends, and the rest of the party had been friends with her as she’d grown up, so they were all closer to her age).
Her MOH was her little sister who was an attention-grabbing trainwreck-she & I did not get along after me bringing up several times that it in fact wasn’t her wedding. The rest of the party just seemed to not gaf about the bride at all while out and about at her bachelorette party (weekend trip to Dallas where the MOH booked us an airbnb in a not-great neighborhood, I ended up paying for EVERY uber we took, and none of them seemed to have any money even though we had planned this trip out for 6 months-oh and a favorite piece of jewelry of mine just “disappeared” off of the bathroom counter). The day of the wedding I found out all of them (MOH and bridesmaids) had gone together to get spray tans and had conveniently forgotten to let me know so I was like a ghost while they all looked nice and tan.
It was awful. And I will not be doing it again.
Never again unless it’s my best friend. The amount of money they expect me to shell out is outrageous. When I get married it’s literally gonna be:
“pick a dress/dressy outfit you can afford, fits and makes you feel good. You wanna re wear a dress you already have? Go for it. The guys rent or just wear the same damn suit every time anyway”
“I’m here with my best friend, not maids”
It was not something I enjoyed at all.
I specifically did not have bridesmaids because i didn’t want to put my friends through that bullshit
I’ve been a bridesmaid and Maid of Honor several times and it’s quite the honor indeed. Lots of work and pressure given all the events I’ve had to host for my friends (engagement parties, bridal showers, Bachelorettes, day of the wedding, etc) and in the end, I often feel quite exhausted but it’s almost always been worth it
I hated, never again!
Expensive. Every. Damn. Time.
I was maid of honour for my childhood best friend. I love her and she’s an absolutely darling person, but geez some of her friends were a pain in the arse.
I was friends with the two other bridesmaids and one of them in particular was extremely difficult. I’d organised the whole hens party (after trying and failing to get the bridesmaids involved) and to try keep costs low I’d offered to host it at my house and cook for everyone, and had communicated to all the attendees I’d just be asking for them to reimburse what I’d spent to host (which was like $20 a head – very little!)
The day before, this difficult bridesmaid decided to organise a special morning tea for the bride to happen before the hens party. I told her I wouldn’t be available because I would be decorating and cooking to prepare for the hens so wouldn’t have time for a morning tea, and she decided to go ahead without me. Apparently the bride turned up and the first question she asked was where I was (lol)
At the hens party several people didn’t show up, more than half of them didn’t pay me, and at least two of them had some kind of breakdown after having too much to drink.
My friend the bride was staying over with me that night and she ended up crying about how shit her friends were. She told me after the wedding that the difficult bridesmaid had spent several months trying to convince her to ‘fire’ me as maid of honour so she could fill that role instead.
Weddings make people so weird.
I attended two weddings, and I was a bridesmaid for both. One thing I realized is that I was not their favourite best friend.