I still can’t believe this is even real life.🤦‍♀️ Okay, so, I’m a new member of a fairly large Unitarian Universalist church in my city and until now things have been pretty chill. Good vibes, nice people, etc. I’m still meeting members of the congregation, learning names and faces and traditions, and it’s all still pretty fresh.
Recently they’ve been doing a pledge drive to raise money for building expenses and everyone who donates gets entered into a weekly raffle done at the end of service. Cool deal, right? LOL welp it was all cool until the moment yours truly had her name pulled out of the bowl like Primrose fucking Everdeen.
My prize? A weekend stay at the vacation home of one of the older couples at the church. Nice, right?
Well here’s the kicker… the couple will also be there for that weekend. They’ll even cook dinner!đź’€
So what I have essentially “won” is spending a whole weekend hours away from home in the company of complete strangers.
What….and I can’t stress this enough…the fuck? Who on Dolly Parton’s green earth decided that was an appropriate prize to just spring on a random person? Is this not how horror movies start??
ANYWAY. The couple enthusiastically congratulated me after the service and seem so excited about it. Everyone seemed to think it was just the most lovely thing. They seem like nice enough people but again, complete strangers.
So I’m kind of at a loss on how to handle this without hurting feelings or alienating people. I get the vibe that these are well entrenched members of the congregation and I don’t want to snub them or hurt their feelings, but also there’s just no fucking way. I just…no. I’m introverted and don’t even stay in the homes of my dearest friends when I visit them, much less people I don’t even know.
My husband, who does not go to the church, finds this all hilarious by the way. As he should because it’s ridiculous.
So my question to you is: how would you handle this? How would you politely decline the most awkward prize you never even asked for?
Comments
Ask if your husband can come. Maybe it will be like when Jim and Pam stay at Dwight’s farm.
As a fellow introvert, I would feel super uncomfortable. However, my sense of adventure would probably compel me to take up the offer. Because while it may be a weekend of awkwardness, maybe it wouldn’t be. Maybe it would be surprisingly fun. At the very least, I’d come away with a cool story to tell at cocktail parties (or wherever).
Could you be gently honest? Like this is so generous but I am not ready to be a house guest? Or play dumb? Like when will you two be absent so I can plan my stay around your schedule? Or white lie like I’m just very introverted?
I’m a big introvert and that sounds awful, but I also never say no to something that could possibly be interesting and/or the opening scene of a movie. I’m also voyeuristic and like to see how other people live. If the house in question is actually decent, I’d ask if you can take a friend or your husband and see what kind of movie it’s shaping up to be… (hopefully not Get Out)
Keep it short and don’t give a reason: “While I’m happy to have won the raffle, I certainly don’t need a prize and am glad to have just participated in this fundraiser.”
As an Atheist, I think many with faith might say this was God having a bit of humour by having you win the prize. He works in mysterious ways, right? Maybe he’s bringing you toward something you need and are ready to receive in your life. Like I said, Atheist here so what do I know.
Maybe treat it like a B&B? They’re part of your congregation so they’re in the community you are enjoying thus far so they can’t be that bad…? Ask your husband to join you. It’s what, 2 days max? Half day Friday and Sunday with a full Saturday.
I understand the potential pressure to not ruffle feathers and dread of being in a strangers home but, maybe it’ll be a lot of fun and you’ll become closer and connected with great people in your church.
There are 3 ways this’ll go…
The most likely it’ll be an awkward weekend.Â
2nd option, they’ll become your BFFs.Â
3rd- and only because I saw a movie about a family that was invited to a randos house- but they could be luring you into a death trap to kidnap your children.Â
But for real, I’d say “thank you for the gift, but I am unable to accept because a family emergency has came up. I think [someone else] was really hoping to be chosen. Can [they] go instead?”
Also, not the point of your post…but I’ve been toying with the idea of going to church, bit I don’t want a conservative/traditional Christian church. I’ve heard the universalists are far more liberal. Other than this “gift,” what are the services like?
When I was a kid we occasionally went to our Unitarian Universalist church…this tracks at least with ours.
Not this specific thing but I feel like totally in this vein.
Not bad people at all just a little bit different
>LOL welp it was all cool until the moment yours truly had her name pulled out of the bowl like Primrose fucking Everdeen.
LOL I totally spit out my water reading this.Â
If you don’t want to go, just play the humility card… “oh no, I couldn’t possibly. It was enough for me to donate my part for [cause]”Â
This is weird. Politely decline. “Oh, I didn’t intend to participate in the raffle, and I don’t want to accept this. Please give it to someone else.”
You can also offer to have coffee or a meal with the hosts after church one Sunday as a gesture of goodwill.
Goofy Unitarians. I love ’em.