Hi, for context, I’m a teenager at the stage where I constantly fight with my parents over many different things, and while I do feel bad, I never apologise. Recently, while I did not have a fight with my father, some of my actions showed that I was upset and it made me look very ungrateful for a gift that he got me. I couldn’t talk to him f2f so I typed out a 542 word explanation (I did not expect it to be this long) as to why I acted the way I did in hopes that he would understand my actions and that I was really not trying to be ungrateful. As a parent, how would you feel if you received this LONG explanation? Should I send it to him? I really cannot have a conversation to him f2f as I feel like it might either end in an argument or just me breaking down.
Comments
Thank you u/Kotlcwonders for posting on r/AskParents. All post titles must be in the form of a question.
Posts that do not conform to the subreddit rules are subject to removal at the discretion of a moderator.
Remember to read the rules and report rule breaking posts.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Cant hurt. But if you know you were wrong a simple dad I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have acted like that, and I do appreciate the gift would be well received.
I would appreciate my child trying to explain, but it would seem like too much. When someone does something like that, all I expect is an apology, a brief statement that they regret it and will try not to do it again, and maybe a step to correct things if necessary
I’m stuck on the “I never apologize”. If you know you are wrong and feel bad, you need to learn how to apologize. It might feel awkward at first, but just do it. Don’t be too prideful. It’s an important skill.
As for your note, sure. If it says what you really mean and you’ve read over it a few times and don’t need to change anything, then writing things out can be a great way to communicate.
Parents are interested in what their child thinks and feels. I would definitely like to read a long email about her feelings.
But if it’s 500 words about him and what he does wrong, that’s probably not helpful. Keep the focus on you and how you feel and what’s going on in your life.
Is your long document mostly rationalizing poor behavior when you should actually just be saying you’re sorry? If so, skip the document and apologize.
Also, in the future apologize for your other poor behavior. It’s a sign of maturity. Do you want them to see you as mature? Then apologize when it’s appropriate. Spend time reflecting on poor choices, responses, or behavior. Figure out how to do better. It’s all part of the growing process.
If I were your parent, I think I’d react best to a short f2f apology (sorry, I shouldn’t have done that, I recognise it was wrong) and then a letter. The short apology would be about what I need to hear. The letter would be about what you need to explain, & that’s important. The verbal apology first would mean by the time I got the letter (that I wasn’t expecting) my heart & mind were open to its contents
Is it an apology or you trying to justify poor behavior?