I’ve been noticing this happening lately. It seems to be more common with younger (20s and 30s) newlyweds on the examples I’ve seen.
I was at an event last night and two instances of this stood out to me. I was a little taken aback because I would just never say something like this about my own husband. I honestly don’t recall if I used to when I was younger and just learned better.
The first time a wife commented to her husband that someone else was not “height challenged” like him. She laughed. He is a little short for a man. His wife is tall for a woman. The look on his face when she said it made me think it bothered him.
The next instance happened with another young couple. A group of guys were posing for a picture in coconut bras (over their Hawaiian shirts). The wife laughed when she commented that her husband was the only one of the group who “had something to put in a bra.” (He is larger than the other men in the group.) The husband blushed about this.
Does this bother men at much as I think it probably does? I think both of these ladies would be really upset if it were reversed.
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I’ve been noticing this happening lately. It seems to be more common with younger (20s and 30s) newlyweds on the examples I’ve seen.
I was at an event last night and two instances of this stood out to me. I was a little taken aback because I would just never say something like this about my own husband. I honestly don’t recall if I used to when I was younger and just learned better.
The first time a wife commented to her husband that someone else was not “height challenged” like him. She laughed. He is a little short for a man. His wife is tall for a woman. The look on his face when she said it made me think it bothered him.
The next instance happened with another young couple. A group of guys were posing for a picture on coconut bras (over their Hawaiian shirts). The wife laughed when she commented that her husband was the only one of the group who “had something to put in a bra.” (He is larger than the other men in the group.) The husband blushed about this.
Does this bother men at much as I think it probably does? I think both of these ladies would be really upset if it were reversed.
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My wife and I banter a ton. We know what is considered too far when bantering in front of others. I’d only be bothered if she went to far, but that’s never happened.
I’m not married, but if I had a significant other I wouldn’t make jokes like that about her body. Therefore I think it’s only fair that I wouldn’t want them to be made about mine either.
It does.. One things most men that no very seriously is respect, and those women were very disrespectful. But good on you for recognizing lot for what it is and noticing how the men reacted.
Wife or not, I never try to make jokes at anyone’s expense when it’s about their physical appearance. About the only time I could see myself doing it is if I know that they know that it’s actually something about them that I love or that they’re proud of. I also have to show some restraint sometimes when it’s something that’s great about them but they have an irrational distaste for it, like if I think their butt is bitching, but they think it’s too big/small/etc.
Seen it alot. 99% of the time the wife doesn’t respect the guy because he’s a pushover, the wife is an asshole yes. But the man is really the enabler here.
This doesn’t really happen for me, but if it does I have enough charisma and humour to comeback harder and embarass her in front of her friends. She stands down, people think I’m a dick after laughing at me, they secretely respect me and the girl stops insulting me.
Just stand your ground if you believe you’re right. You will find out in time anyway if you were right or wrong. Better to find out than to live in fear of risking being wrong.
There’s a difference between insulting your partner as a joke to them, and insulting your partner as a joke to others.
It was funny at home, but ex wife started doing it in front of people it was no longer funny. Insulted her once in front of people and she had a complete meltdown. Giving her a taste of her own medicine was the only way I could get through to her, but it always made me out to be the bad guy no matter how much worse she did it to me first and refused to listen to me when I asked her to stop.
My wife and I trade shots alllllllllll the time. 15 years in and we are doing just fine. It all depends on the personalities in the marriage itself. I couldnt be married to a stiff that cant take a jab.
Banter is fine, but I don’t think people should make jokes about their partner among strangers.
Anytime a female tries to “have a laugh” about a guys physical attributes then simply say “oh so we can comment on each others bodies now??? Oh this will be fun” *look the offender up and down in a slightly disgusted manner.
They STFU straight way
Pure disrespect and mean. If my wife did something like that I’d tell her if it happens again then I’d have divorce papers ready.
I am very sensitive about this.sort of.thing and would feel very betrayed if she did this to me. Another reason I don’t want to get married.
This is the new norm.
Men are being treated like trash by society and putting up with it from women.
I would tell her that she is MY women and to shut the fuck up and make me a baby already
Depends if it’s hurtful or was made with ill intentions. More often than not, I’d assume it was playful ribbing.
I haaate when I see stuff like this. One of my husbands friends is overweight and he constantly gets shit comments by his friends and relatives, but if he was a woman no one would dare say those things. I went out of my way to tell him I’m sorry and that I hate it for him. I’m sick of men being treated like shit for stuff they can’t immediately change.
I’d feel single and ready to mingle.
I mean, if she takes it as well as she gives it, no harm no foul
If she doesn’t, we need to have a discussion about where the line is and I’m going to start questioning her overall maturity level if she can dish it out but can’t take it.
Hell, I’ve had a “friend” who got triggered when I said her own joke back at her a couple of weeks apart. We ain’t friends no more, for a couple of reasons.
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My first wife was like that, notice I said first wife. My current wife doesn’t feel the need to publicly embarrass me for amusement.
There is a difference between banter and being cruel, these women sound like they were intentionally being cruel and publicly picking at their husband’s known insecurities for laughs, if you are correct about their responses.
Banter is a two way street between two people that find it amusing and is usually done privately, not in front of the friend group.
My wife doesn’t think it’s cute to emasculate me. She wouldn’t be my wife if she did.
It’s gonna be different for every couple, and there’s things to factor in. Is he insecure about the topic or does he make jokes about it himself? Are they around some friends or nothing but complete strangers?
Most of the time it’s just teasing, but there’s always people who say shitty things and disguise it as a joke. I joke with my loved ones in ways a stranger would see and probably just think I’m an asshole, but that’s why I don’t do it around strangers.
Those examples hit way below the belt. I’m shocked.
Light teasing is fine, as long as it’s clear the target is on board with it, and it’s not some insecurity.
Weight is like – an insecurity for almost everyone period. But if someone teased me about my baking skills for example, it wouldn’t bother me. I don’t care about being a good baker.
I don’t even date women that make fun of other people, much less me.
That guy should then tell his wife she is thin challenged and then laugh…
I refuse to tolerate disrespect from any woman I’m with. If she did something like that to me, her ass would be drop-kicked to the curb so fast…
Not married anymore, but was for a while. My wife and I cracked jokes about that too each other all the time. We didn’t do it that much in front of other people, but it definitely. 99% of the time it was still in good fun because we each knew we weren’t being serious, and so did the company at the time. I would say maybe a handful of times it wasn’t well received, and probably most of those times it had more to do with one of us not being in the mood for it more than the actual content of the joke. I did NOT make jokes like that or say negative things about my wife when she was not around. I think every couple has their own dynamic. Sometimes it’s unhealthy, sometimes it’s mutual. Hard to tell with the story you wrote.
A typical conversation between me and my wife (of 18 years):
Her: “You’re such an asshole!”
Me: “Yep.”
Her: “Fuck you.”
Me: “Hey, you married me.”
Her: “I know.”
Me: “… Twice.”
Her: “And I’d do it again.”
Insults just don’t carry much weight in our family.
You are supposed to be on each other’s team. You don’t score points by fouling your own teammate.
Generally I find that women in their 20s like to put men down. Must be an insecurity issue. Those husbands are p-whipped, Pathetic.
My wife and I talk mad shit to each other, but we avoid the soft spots lol.
It absolutely depends on the dynamic and how cool they both are with it, but no I absolutely agree this is a huge problem culturally right now.
There are a lot of women who think it’s cute to make fun or criticize their partners about their deepest insecurities. I have no idea why. There is a culture of men that are absolutely the same way too.
My wife and I can absolutely dish out insults at eachother. We do it far less in public than just between us for fun. But we know what subjects are ok to joke about in what company. She used to be very overweight for example, and she finds jokes about it hilarious between us, but I know exactly which kinds of jokes are fair play and which ones aren’t, and I am not going to stick to that one subject beyond like one or maybe two jokes. There are only like two friends I know she’d be comfortable with jokes on that subject being told in front of, because they similarly know which aspects of that subject she is or isn’t ok. I would never joke about that in front of strangers.
We have some subjects that are fine to joke about in public though, and some of them might even seem a bit harsh to some people, but I would never joke about anything that might actually make her feel insecure. That’s just fucked up. You don’t do that to someone you care about.