How would you handle a partner that continuously follows other women on social media?
How would you handle a partner that continuously follows other women on social media?
r/AskWomen
How would you handle a partner that continuously follows other women on social media?
Comments
Very simple: you unfollow that partner and find one without a roving eye.
You make them an ex partner and move on to one thats worth your time.
Like his friends? Or random half naked influencers? The latter would turn me off
I wouldn’t have a partner like that đ Even if there was, as soon as I found out about it, he wouldn’t be in my life anymore
It depends on the context. Are these like OF models, are these friends of his, coworkers, pornstars- what are we talking about lol? Because if itâs scantily clad women, Iâm not cool with that, but if itâs just friends or coworkers, Iâm alright with that. If itâs the latter- Iâll probably follow them too and make friends so we can go to brunch and have a girls day- I like having gal palsđđ
At the end of the day if partner A makes a request to partner B asking them to do or not do something and partner B say no wit actions or words, partner A has two choices: 1) accept that partner B wonât change or 2) leave partner B.
Either way A cannot change B
I wouldn’t be with them. It betrays a sense that they probably aren’t thinking about me and how such actions would impact me. If I liked them and thought they were a good partner in other aspects, I would try to talk to them but it’s hard to see how this behaviour is appropriate in a relationship – except for if it’s people he has reciprocal friendship with.
It depends, are these other women his friends or total strangers?
That person would not be my partner in anything
It depends. When I watch a movie or show I tend to follow the whole main cast. Eventually I unfollow some. If hes like that then idrc. If its half naked women then break up.
From someone who learned this lesson the hard wayâŚGet rid, sounds like a heartbreak waiting to happen! Heâs still browsing, so what are you doing waiting for him by the checkout?!
You deserve better and I bet deep down you know that, respect is a bare minimum if youâre going to have any trust!
Good luck â¤ď¸
Ps – Itâs an oldie but âNot just Friendsâ by Shirley Glass might help.
Broke up with that piece of crap. Never been happier đ¤đť
Four years ago at the beginning of my relationship, my partner was following hundreds of only fans women which was kind of gross to me because heâs much older. It also made me no longer want to send him nudes when I discovered him liking photos even the same day he was with me. It took me months of asking him to stop doing this, and eventually he did after he observed someone in his life open up his phone and become embarrassed by it at a party, that was a family gathering. I wish that just me talking about it wouldâve been enough, but it took him to see that to realize it. Unfortunately, I donât love all of his social media behavior still, but it is significantly improved and I just donât follow him, though I trust him otherwise. If I could give any advice based on how much it tortured me, it would be to stop telling myself that I wasnât allowed to be bothered by it. I would ask so many different women, friends, strangers, if it would bother them because I just couldnât Accept my own experience of it and kept on telling myself that It meant that I was insecure. And therefore, I should tolerate it. And some of the women who did say It wouldnât bother them, I just kept on telling myself that this was evidence I was not allowed to be bothered by it. When I realized was, this was some trauma that I had to work through, the lack of awareness that I can be bothered by anything, talk about it maturely, and that if my partner doesnât take it seriously, itâs more indicative of us not being a great match than something deeply wrong wrong with me. At the end of the day, a lot of people will say that somebody else is insecure, but I always pause now and ask people if theyâre being insecure or if there is some element of disrespect based on preferences that have been agreed to in the relationship.
I donât see why he shouldnât be able to follow anyone he wants to on social media. But I canât be with someone I canât trust. If it crosses a lineâŚif his interest in them interferes in our relationship, or they start hooking up in real life, thatâs a different question. But just following? He can look all he wants.
I dated a guy who worked in esports, most of his following list was women who also worked in esports which I thought was normal for his industry – and no shade to these women, but once I dug a little deeper I realized that specifically all of the ones he followed had OF pages, all of the ones that followed HIM but he didnât follow back were the ones who had a strictly professional page
Like I said, no shame to a woman with hustle, but the cartwheels my ex tried to make justifying this was the most offputting shit ever
i would leave him
him following women online ( if they are not friends or family ) just indicates a lack of self control
if your BF needs constant sexual stimulation from other people on a daily basis the possibility of you being the “good enough girlfriend” is pretty high, having you just for the sake of being in a relatioship while not really being attracted to you
guys like this try to monkeybranch as soon as they can, if given the chance
[removed]
Dump him. Learned my lesson in 2012.
He’s still fishin girl- get out that musty dusty pond of his
Depends on the context. If they were following friends, family, colleagues, artists, authors, researchers, philosophers, scientists, journalists, experts, etc, then that would be significantly different than following random thirst traps or porn accounts.
I would unhandle him and move on.