How Would you react if you find out your SO have stayed phone contact with their ex behind you back?

r/

And they told you previously the relationship already ended but they deleted all chat history between them

Comments

  1. coffeewalnut05 Avatar

    I’d wonder why they kept it from me for so long that I had to find out myself. We’ve have a conversation about it, at least.

    Edit: yeah, if chat history is deleted too then I’d think about leaving lol. I’m not gonna stand in the way, I’ll find a man who has his eyes for me only.

  2. tinfoilhattie Avatar

    That would mean that they’ve been actively lying to me and hiding their interactions from me intentionally. I’d end the relationship. I have no desire to be with someone who is dishonest and too much of a coward to act ethically within their relationships.

  3. languidlasagna Avatar

    Talking to ex = whatever
    Lying about talking to ex and covering tracks = ur sus af goodbyeeeeee

  4. ratsrulehell Avatar

    That’d be me out of there

  5. Dr__Pheonx Avatar

    I would try to figure out what is actually happening. Are they ust friends now or is there something else deeper going on. And I would like to know why he kept it from me, first and foremost.

  6. Appropriate_Tea9048 Avatar

    The relationship would be over. That’s a huge lie.

  7. Pixiestixwhore Avatar

    Ask them why are they texting me when I’m right here (we dated back in HS, broke up, got back together 3 years post graduation and I was the only gf he had lol)

  8. Love-and-literature3 Avatar

    I’d end it. I’m middle aged, I don’t have the energy to put up with silly games from the most mediocre species on the planet; men.

  9. DimmyMoore70 Avatar

    I’d assume he wanted to still fuck his ex. And then I’d leave and let them have each other. I have no time or patience for nonsense like this.

  10. thegingerofficial Avatar

    Are we talking about a brief “hey, how’s life treating you?” Every so often or full on regular conversations?

  11. LyricalLinds Avatar

    We agree this is not something we do so that would mean lying and hiding things… which means I’m out

  12. Global_Expression_50 Avatar

    I ended it with an ex when I found him chatting to his ex, funnily enough they got back together within days of me ending it. I wish them all the best. ✌️

  13. trUth_b0mbs Avatar

    in contact fine; hiding it? not fine. Bye.

  14. Spicy_Darling Avatar

    I actually went through this last month. Found out when his ex accidentally tagged him in an Instagram story. Six months of daily calls that I knew nothing about. Now I’m single and honestly? Much happier without the constant anxiety of wondering what else he was hiding.

  15. ellepre Avatar

    What would i do if he’d been lying to me the whole time? Leave.

    There is no relationship without trust.

    I hope you’re ok OP.

  16. its_kiara_ Avatar

    Say bye and leave

  17. Nice_Violinist9736 Avatar

    It’s a little weird if they are going out of their way to hide it. If they are going out of their way to hide I’ll assume the worst and probably end the relationship. I personally don’t care if my partner is friendly towards an ex but there’s no need to hide it unless you’re specifically doing something you know would hurt me.

  18. WrestlingWoman Avatar

    Behind my back, I would ask why. However, he was open about every once in a while catching up with her over MSN. (Back in those days.) She lived in England and was married to someone he went to school with so they all knew each other. She also knew he had found me. There were no feelings there. Just old friends catching up now and then until they lost contact for good several years ago.

  19. Acedia_spark Avatar

    That would cause alarm bells for me.

    To be clear, I have no issues with my partners being friends with their exes.

    HIDING it from me is a whole other thing. that’s a deliberate choice. Whether or not it’s because they thought I’d be upset or it’s actual inappropriate content doesn’t matter. They were faced with an internal question about my boundaries and chose deception.

  20. schecter_ Avatar

    Honestly, I am not sure i’ll keep dating that person because I have strong boundaries against exes. I am ok with being civil (of course), but communicating frequently with an ex is sth i am not comfortable with. Another reason why I would never date a single father.

  21. strangelyahuman Avatar

    Immediate grounds for a break up. I don’t put up with lying and sneaking around

  22. strangelyahuman Avatar

    Immediate grounds for a break up. I don’t put up with lying and sneaking around

  23. lumiere108 Avatar

    If he would tell me from day one, then I would be fine with that, but lying about it? Instant leave😊

  24. RealHousewifeND Avatar

    It depends….do they share children/grandchildren? Some of the convos may be legit. If he’s hiding the messages from you, that’s a problem.

  25. typing_away Avatar

    It happened to me ! The girl was also stalking him . That’s what he was saying and his action initially matched what he told me. Then she told him that she could be just friend.

    He decided that perhaps it was the way for The stalking to end : by letting her in his life!

    I told him that it was clear that she wanted to be anything to him , as long as she could see him.

    I almost broke up with him. Then she finally tell him she still love him.

    My reaction were “I told you so! That girl stalked you for 7 years ,while we were on dates, at work and while she was seeing other men! It’s not healthy”

    So he blocked her and finally it stopped!

    Then I eventually broke up because he was soo fucking clueless about everything but programming!