I would instantly fight him. If the devil is real, then god is real. If I die fighting the devil to save humanity there is no way I get denied entry to heaven.
I’d assume that I’m having a hallucination or some other mental health problem. I’d try and figure out using logic what has caused it.
It strikes me as interesting how if I see or hear things it must be a mental health problem. Yet when other people see or hear things it must be gods or the supernatural.
He’s a Capricorn (that’s from a comedic song about Satan. I can’t remember who does it). So I’d tell him to get off my back if he’s going to be a judgemental bitch and let me scroll reddit in peace 😂
I would probably ask her why the hell she’s standing behind me all creepy like that. And then I would probably get in trouble for asking and end up sleeping on the couch.
As an atheist I would love to have a theological chat with the chap about why he got kicked out of heaven and if god is as big of a dick as it seems like.
I would say, “don’t you think it’s time you collected orange Mussolini’s soul? I get that he never pays his debts, but I didn’t think he could avoid paying you. You gotta step up your game and go collect what’s rightfully owed to you. Like right now.”
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I’d pass away
High five!
“Get thee behind me Sa—oh you’re already there. Okay.”
I try to steal a car. Then confess there devil behind me
Ask if he wants to dance in the pale moonlight
He’s standing in the dark because he’s scared of the light lol
We get together every Friday night to do our nails and talk shit about shitty people.
I’d asked “What took you so long? I’m ready to go a long time ago”
Physical impossibility
I guess I’d try to fight him wondering what he was doing
Ask if it was him who farted.
“eyoooo don’t be checking out my ass like that!!!”
Dude! Rude!
Cum in him
Get off my violets
i would spiral hard
I would tell him to please take Trump back to hell where he belongs.
I’d jerk off. Give him a show
“Fucking end it bro I’m over it.”
Meh
I would absolutely freeze and be scared the rest of my life
He couldn’t be any worse than my last boss. And he’s probably a lot more sane.
I would instantly fight him. If the devil is real, then god is real. If I die fighting the devil to save humanity there is no way I get denied entry to heaven.
Ask him if he wants a puff, I guess lol
Do you really play the fiddle or is that just a myth?
Ask my ex if he was going to say hi or just be weird
“Dude, you’re blocking my Wi-fi”
This sounds like lyrics to a Florence and the Machine song 🎵
I’d tell Donald to go fuck himself
I’d assume that I’m having a hallucination or some other mental health problem. I’d try and figure out using logic what has caused it.
It strikes me as interesting how if I see or hear things it must be a mental health problem. Yet when other people see or hear things it must be gods or the supernatural.
“… and are you going to introduce yourself or engage me in any direct manner?”
I would be absolutely shocked that my dog, who is currently rolled over on his back wanting belly rubs, is the devil.
Meh, I’ve been married to his sister for 33 years,
Ahhhhh, who are you handsome man!
I’d grab my fiddle
Ah, I see you too are an enjoyer of cat girls, but dude its creepy as sin that you were just standing there.
Though in reality if some fallen angel lord of hell was behind me I imagine I would freak out.
Lord, this just got interesting…
Ask him why didn’t he say anything when I was making a sandwich. I wouldn’t have minded making him one too.
Come here often???
Looking at the camera – “he’s standing right behind me, isn’t he?”
Offer him some of my popcorn
Be like hey man what’s up, wanna grab a coffee and talk about shit?
Hey bro!!! Quit checking out my ass!!!
That’s just my cat. I’d pet him.
I feel like he’s been behind me the last few years.
High five, go do some cool shit with him. Talk shit about about God, that fucking pussy.
I wouldn’t know that he had been there for 5 mins unless he told me
Take out my willy and spin like a princess
Fuck do you want cunt
Broooooooo …
“So like… could I get you anything? I have Kraft dinner… and some thoughts of anarchy.” 🤷
Would be funny if I had a particularly gassy day.
“Is that sulfur smell me or you?”
Just take me already.
Throw my rosary and cry out for Blessed Mother
“Micro-manage much?”
ask her some questions…
Bro just say hi. Are you trying to scare me?
Me: i know you’re behind me jenna, i can hear you snorting and growling!
(Jenna is my ex, and mother of my spawns of satan)
I’d try to recall if I watched anything embarrassing on my phone while this fucker was over my shoulder.
“You’ve only been there 5 minutes?”
I’d ask if he wanted to tap in
“took you long enough”
I would be surprised.
Ask him to grab us a beer from the fridge before we get to… idk, whatever his business is with me.
‘be gentle’
He’s a Capricorn (that’s from a comedic song about Satan. I can’t remember who does it). So I’d tell him to get off my back if he’s going to be a judgemental bitch and let me scroll reddit in peace 😂
I would probably ask her why the hell she’s standing behind me all creepy like that. And then I would probably get in trouble for asking and end up sleeping on the couch.
I’d turn to him and say.
“So gods a fuckinf prick isint he?” Give him a hug and say I understand.
Mr. Shickadance. I thought you were somebody else.
I’d offer him coffee and ask if he’s hiring—corporate life already feels like hell anyway.
Id seek psychiatric help because the devil is not real. The concept was created by men to control others
“You should have spoken up, I could have made some more rice.”
“You like that?”
Since he is already there he can at least give me a reach round. After that post not clarity will tell me the correct response.
Normal. I’d be like hey, what’s up? You need me for something?
I mean he’s the Devil. Doesn’t matter what you do, if he want’s you dead, you’re dead. No need to panic
That’s why I can sleep on Airplanes as soon as we leave the runway. At that point, it’s all outta my hands.
I’ll ask him.. are you dropping the tarrrifs for good or not ?
https://youtu.be/zZiG_5soWxg?si=VuZp2CZcIQ4xKIDF
Ask him why he’s watching me take a dump.
Mace him for being a creeper
I feel like he’s been with me for much longer
Offer him a chair. Wouldn’t want to be rude
I’d turn around and shake his hand. He nor his believers have ever been an asshole to me. I can’t say that about christians.
I’d call my doctor and have my meds adjusted.
Hi. Sorry, already taken.
As an atheist I would love to have a theological chat with the chap about why he got kicked out of heaven and if god is as big of a dick as it seems like.
How would I realize he had been there for 5 minutes just from seeing him?
Probably just leave. Doesnt seem dangerous just creepy
Turn around real fast and yell boo!
The devil is always after you ..
“….I know, right??”
I did definitely not turn around when reading this…
“That explains a thing or two”
I’d say “sorry you had to see all that sir but Hentai porn just gets me going. Whats up?”
Ask him why the fuck he’s standing there.
“well, I bet you’re really proud of yourself huh” gestures generally around
“Looking for the person that escaped?”
Get myself checked out for seeing things that aren’t real…
I would tell him “not today”
Probably “cool costume”.
I’d probably pretend I didn’t notice and slowly back away… very slowly.
Probably ask him if gold is really the most convenient material to make a fiddle out of. Maybe that’s why Johnny was able to win that bet.
“I knew the current US administration was just so you could see my reaction for your YouTube channel”
I’d tell him to fuck off and find a Christian to bother.
I’d take a deep breath, turn, and ask if he’d come to take me…
Stop breathing on my neck!
“oh cool, so we’re doing that soul tradeoff now?”
Turn around and make fun of him for losing his fiddle to a hillbilly.
hi son, back home?
Stop wanking.
I knew it! This really is hell!
Say “Hi Jesus, Happy Easter.”
Where’s my 20 bucks bitch?
You’re not cutting in line. I want my blizzard just as bad as you.
I’d assume the schizophrenia got me.
Glad to see we both know your place and who is really in charge.
Awww.. just give him a merciful hug! And beg him to take me already!
I would say what’s up to whoever is playing that role as I’m an atheist. Don’t believe in the devil either.
Take me, I’m tired
Dude I would love to ask him questions how sick would it be to talk to one of the most powerful deities.
I probably would’ve felt him the moment he stood there because one of the gifts God gave me is discernment. I can feel a serpent when it’s near me
I’d go put on a pot of coffee—if he drops by for a visit, I want to stay up all night talking with him.
“Are you going to do sth abt any of the shit for once?”
Confused since I’m lying in a bed that’s up against a wall, but hey he’s the devil, I guess.
Depends what level of fuckery I’d been dealing with that day… could end well for him, well for me, or horrible for the rest of humanity.
“I have a bone to pick with you asshole……M. Night Shamalyan…….Airbender movie…….what the hell”
Startle, then ask what he wants.
Grab its neck.
Oh Hi Mark!
Tell my sister to fuck off
I would say, “don’t you think it’s time you collected orange Mussolini’s soul? I get that he never pays his debts, but I didn’t think he could avoid paying you. You gotta step up your game and go collect what’s rightfully owed to you. Like right now.”
I hope if the Devil were behind you for 5 minutes he would already be finished
Were you just… watching us?
Fist bump.
Be quite a trick, seeing how I’m laying in bed typing this.
I’d sell my soul for my country and have him eliminate MAGAts. Who am I kidding? He’s already bought those chuckleheads so his hands are tied
I would crawfish on the bet then I would drill that old devil in the butt .
“Aren’t you bored? Go and bother someone else.”
Probably shrug him off.
Here’s the address to my mother in law’s house, now you’re sure this will not be traced back to me.
Jokes on you I’m laying down