How would you respond if a woman approached you first, and you WEREN’T attracted to her.

r/

I’m a girl btw. I was just wondering what your response would be to a girl approaching you if she wasn’t that attractive? Not UGLY, but, like not super conventionally attractive?

I know a lot of girls tend to get scared or aggressive when it happens the them (with men). But nothing is universal, so I just wanted to know the general consensus.

Comments

  1. AutoModerator Avatar

    Since you shitlords like to delete your posts, here’s an original copy of /u/AnyStrawberry3623’s post (if available):

    I’m a girl btw. I was just wondering what your response would be to a girl approaching you if she wasn’t that attractive? Not UGLY, but, like not super conventionally attractive?

    I know a lot of girls tend to get scared or aggressive when it happens the them (with men). But nothing is universal, so I just wanted to know the general consensus.

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  2. Sad-Opening-6531 Avatar

    Probably just be friendly or politely brush her off if I was busy with something

  3. hariseldon2 Avatar

    Depends on the context. Not insulting or anything. You just go along with the conversation or whatever but don’t follow through.

  4. Brother_To_Coyotes Avatar

    I can talk about the wife until she goes away. That usually works.

    When I was single you try to let them down easy but they often don’t let you especially if they’re drunk. Brace yourself for wildcatting.

  5. activeseven Avatar

    “Thanks, but I’m not interested.”

    Then I wait for her to call me gay.

  6. OddSeraph Avatar

    Most of the time just smile and politely tell her I’m not interested, usually tell tell I have a girlfriend.

  7. Lost_Now_Found Avatar

    I just tell them thank you but I am not currently interested, I admire the courage it takes to walk up to a stranger and shoot your shot. You don’t have to be a dick about it but I like honesty so I give them an honest response.

  8. Top_Set_3803 Avatar

    “Sorry you’re not my type, but I appreciate the effort, so have a drink on me”

  9. DullSense8359 Avatar

    I’ve quite literally never really had this happen to me but I feel like I’d politely just say sorry I’m not interested. I’m not a fan of the usual women response of “I have a boyfriend” if your not attracted to me just say it I won’t get offended

  10. MashAndPie Avatar

    It all depends on what the approach is. But if it’s her coming up and having a conversation then asking for my contact deets, then I’ll just say I’m not interested.

    If it’s some other approach then it’ll likely be some other answer.

    But the advice is to always shoot your shot, if socially appropriate.

  11. FoppyDidNothingWrong Avatar

    Play stupid

    Works well

  12. jonnydash Avatar

    Who knows?? Like anyone would be interested in me lmao.

    Bad faith question is in bad faith

  13. danxfartzz Avatar

    Just say you’ve got a girlfriend

  14. TyphoonCane Avatar

    I’m really sorry but I’m not interested. I just want to say though, that I wish you the best of luck finding someone and kudos to your courage because that is really attractive.

  15. SithTemplar Avatar

    Depends how and when I was approached. As depending on details, even if might not be attracted initially, that might change.

  16. Heiko-67 Avatar

    Since she made the effort to approach me, I’ll agree to a coffee date. Not out of pity, but I’ve learned that I am attracted to personality more than physical appearance. If we find each other in a conversation that both of us don’t want to end, I’ll be willing to explore what that connection can become.

    And you are right, few women have mastered the art of respectful rejection. Actually, that’s an understatement, they are often deliberately cruel. When I was young, that used to hurt. Now, I am grateful because I’m over her instantly. And grateful that she showed me who she is before I invested time and effort in her.

  17. JustBrowsing49 Avatar

    I would VERY gently let her down. Probably make up a white lie about not being a in good state to date at the moment. If she presses for more answers, then maybe I let it leak that I’m not interested in her.

  18. --MobTowN-- Avatar

    So, im always flattered, every single time. I usually go with “already tied up” or “not currently dating.” I’ve never had it pressed further than that, so I don’t really have any back up moves in case it does.

    I don’t doubt that it’s come up infrequently, but I personally have never seen an adult dude be mean or shitty or caustic in this scenario. I’ve also never seen an adult woman be mean or shitty or caustic in this scenario.

    I think a lot of the apprehension is based on behaviors we mostly grow out of during school years.

  19. No_End_1315 Avatar

    Politely turn her down, and tell her I’m not interested. Just like I’d do to any other woman that approaches me.

  20. InvisaBlah Avatar

    I’d yell “ew COOTIES” or “STRANGER DANGER” and sprint away as fast as possible.

    Actually I’ve had this happen before. She asked to exchange contacts, which I did (probably shouldn’t have but tbh I was in shock) but never made any plans beyond that. If someone is interested they’ll reach out.

  21. Apathicary Avatar

    I usually say yes to anyone that asks me out just because I think it’s brave and that’s worth a date at least.

  22. zipcodekidd Avatar

    It depends how they approach. If they lead with sex and seduction then I enjoy the show then tell them no thanks. If they are polite and genuinely curious then I just say I’m flattered but I’m married and do not cheat. If they do not respect that I’m married and try to convince me she can keep secrets then I laugh and say know I know your lying.

  23. Contagious_Cure Avatar

    Depends on how they approach.

    But generally as politely as possible show I’m not interested.

    I do find most girls are indirect and usually try to strike up a conversation first or via a casual compliment, in which case it’s not terribly hard to just give a short but polite answer or thanks and walk away without a direct implication of a rejection.

    If they ask directly then I reject directly. No need to be rude or aggressive unless they’re rude and aggressive to me.

  24. aknightwhosaysnope Avatar

    I’d tell her I’m deeply flattered, but I’m only out for conversation, although I’d be happy to talk to her if she just wants some platonic company.

  25. The_Endless_ Avatar

    Polite but direct

    I will say though, many (not all!) women do not take rejection well at all

  26. MetalHeadJakee Avatar

    This happens to me sometimes.

    I be polite and friendly and reject their advances if they try any.

    I remember one night being at a Alt/Rock theme bar in the smoking area with my best friend drunk. Starting singing Break Stuff by Limp Bizkit with him and some woman next to us joined in. Which led her to show me her tattoo of KoRn and started having a conversation about music. She then tried flirting with me and I acted polite and told her I needed the toilet and kind of stopped interacting with her because I didn’t want to lead her on.

    I don’t fault her for shooting her shot. She just wasn’t my type. No hard feelings.

    I actually go to social places where women go who have similar interests and what do you know.

    Happened last week when I went to see a band live. Woman in smoking area saw my Slipknot shirt and said she likes my shirt and asked me what my favourite song and album is and we got talking.

  27. SamudraNCM1101 Avatar

    I take the compliment. I usually say thank you but not interested. Or I say it in a more subtle way if they are more insecure but they get the gesture

  28. Mister_Way Avatar

    Whatever my evaluation of her was before, she gets a huge boost for personality if she does that. I will immediately respect her a lot more, and would very likely “give her a chance” that I would never have considered if she hadn’t taken that step.

  29. Plastic-Cricket-7437 Avatar

    Even if she is not attractive. But as she approached first she will get a bonus point for that . If she’s well versed then we can talk to each other

  30. Ready-Studio5714 Avatar

    Im experienced in thsi field 😂 im highschool uses to say “my religion doesnt allow me”, “no marriage until college” and “sorry I dont do Gf’s”… although one or 2 were attractive I still said no because I didnt care

  31. Rude-Particular-7131 Avatar

    Can she have an intelligent conversation?

  32. mikess314 Avatar

    It’s always a little uncomfortable, but I suppose that’s something that women have to deal with all the time. So like I would hope a woman does if I approach her and she’s not interested in me, I will be friendly and respectful and kind, but not give any indication that I have any interest in her in return