How would you respond to a person you just matched with on a dating app requested that you have a quick video call to confirm that both of you are real?
How would you respond to a person you just matched with on a dating app requested that you have a quick video call to confirm that both of you are real?
r/AskWomen
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It means she is probably real and just wants to make sure you are. It’s understandable to be nervous on a video call at first though! Maybe just say a short one would be okay.
I have no problem with it. It doesn’t have to be a big deal, but a lot of people aren’t honest about their looks up front so it’s an easy way to weed out catfishers.
Would be fine for me, even if I dont like calling, I understand the reason. Maybe they got scammed or lied to already and just want to avoid that before they put energy and time and maybe catch feelings.
I was on a “dating” app to meet new friends. We did a Video call even though the app is for women only.
It was just a quick smalltalk during lunch break like “heeyyy hiii omg you are real, too! How is your day? Great, see you later!”
If it’s immediately after you match that’s weird, if it’s before a date to make sure nobody is catfishing then I say that’s fine.
I’d say no thanks politely but firmly and move on.
While they are free to do what they want (make that request/unmatch), so am I and I am not comfortable with that/ don’t like video calls with anyone, don’t want to date someone who is implying that I’m e.g. a bot or doesn’t see/care that I am taking the same risk that they are (or bigger risk if we are meeting up), don’t have the time to do this with every guy I match with, don’t want to take time out of my busy day to get into an environment/mindset (they are essentially asking for a video call before I’ve even screened and established that I want a date with them or to chat with them)/presentable state (my hair might be dishevelled, my clothes raggedy etc) where I can make this call. I also prefer someone more chill, so we probably aren’t a match. So, just no thanks.
There’s sooooo many bots these days, I am all for assuaging that concern. Video call – let me have some time to mentally prepare for it, and sure no prob. My main goal is to meet people in person so a video call shouldn’t be an issue. And I’m so bored of texting with strangers before we meet.
Plus, are they worrying that I’m a bot cuz I seem too good to be real? I like that prospect.
But if they are demanding in a gross or jaded way, no thank you.
i would go and shave if I hadn’t already
i think if you’ve been chatting and it’s going well and there’s a meet/date on the horizon, then it’s reasonable. if it’s like the same day you’ve matched and haven’t even started to get to know eachother yet, then yea that’s a little forward IMO.
That would be a turn-off for me. That would make them appear jaded.
I wouldn’t feel insulted but I’d be worried it’s some kind of scam and not agree to do it (like, I couldn’t say exactly how, but whenever someone asks for more data than absolutely necessary I’m going to assume it’s a scam…)
I wouldn’t find that weird. I would actually respect it.
That’s fine.
i’d say something like: “totally get it, a quick video call sounds fair—just don’t judge my ‘just got home’ look 😅 when are you free for a quick hello?” Keeps it casual but open, and shows you’re cool with being real too
When I was single I was mostly for it. There was only one time the guy used it as an excuse to show his parts. Quick block!
I think that’s fair and smart tbh. It will immediately eliminate anyone who is trying to pull one over on you
My standard practice was video chat before an IRL date after texting for a bit just to see if we got along well in conversation, since chemistry is different than just texting. But I would organically suggest it. If someone’s being demanding or pushy, that’s weird
Good idea!
She doesn’t want to waste time talking to a bot or somebody that has photoshopped their pictures.
Do the face time, you potentially save yourself a pointless first date.
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You should be wary that it probably is a real person and someone serious in their endeavor for the app’s purpose. in this case… dating? in case you are unaware a video call is surest way to confirm a person is real and will deflect most scammers. you reach this point when you have so many encounters with people that you just cant tell how real they are with just chatting and pics. its basically to cut through the bs of figuring out if your an authentic person
I,personally, don’t like doing that. It’s so awkward for me. The first time I was asked, I said ‘No’ because it was weird and I didn’t know this was a thing people did. The guy was so pissed off lol. I said I would rather meet him and he did not like that answer but I was uncomfortable doing a video chat first.
The 2nd time someone asked me, I said ‘fine maybe this is a thing ppl do!’ so I did it. It was ok…didn’t work out anyways.
I would assume that person has probably been burned before and do it.
When matches ask me on a date or I’d like to move beyond just messaging, I say let’s do a video chat date
For 2 reasons, 1. Make sure they are real and 2. To see if we vibe – messaging back and forth can only tell you so much about a person . . . Its low pressure, I’m in my home comfortable, they’re in their home comfortable – and if we don’t vibe neither of us had to drop money on a date.
I would rather not, but I would do it if I wanted to go on a date with the person. I think it’s a pretty normal request.
No. Just no.
He can ask for some additional verification that I’m not a bot. But I’m not jumping right into a video call. He can wait until we meet in person in a public place.
Don’t give out phone numbers for this purpose or use any app tied to a phone number. I have had women ask for number in the first message, often respond with….. burner number is 555-xxxx 😂🤣😂…..needless to say they block me
I always do this or a phone call before a date. It’s a good way to find out if conversation will flow well or if you dont have a good energy.
if we had been talking and getting along so far for a week or two, yes I highly encouraged a video call or some picture chatting before ever meeting up for a date
First time someone asked me this I was super nervous. Now? I actually suggest it myself. Takes 2 minutes and saves everyone from wasting time. Just keep it short and sweet verify and move on.
I hate when they ask for a video call. I’ll oblige, but it automatically makes me think they can’t vet people and tell the difference between a real person and a bot, or they’re extremely jaded, which is a quality I do not want. I’m fine giving them my social media to show I’m a real person, maybe a phone call. But video call? Yuck.
I also look better in person than on video and they’re always surprised when they do meet me, so it doesn’t help them in that regard either
I would respond with an immediate acceptance. Someone proving that they are not trying to waste time on one of those things is a rarity.