How young/old were you when you first realized that you were attracted to girls? (or men if you’re gay)

r/

I feel like a lot of my friends usually stared getting into girls around 6th grade or so, just around puberty but slightly before…but I vividly remember being into girls and embarrassingly telling a girl I liked her in 2nd grade at school, and having my first kiss in 2nd grade at daycare, which continued for like a week until we got caught.

For context, I’m in my 30’s now and am re-watching “The Sandlot” for the first time in ages and am feeling really nostalgic haha

Comments

  1. AnonymousResponder00 Avatar

    I was in Gr. 7, so around 13. I was in church for my friend’s confirmation. Her teacher was really hot, and she had to bend down to pick something up right in front of me. In the car on the way home, Dad had to have a talk with me about not making it obvious when I’m checking someone out. It was only a few months later I saw porn for the first time.

  2. capt-yossarius Avatar

    I cannot remember a time when I wasn’t attracted to girls. I was already interested in Kindergarten.

  3. Ruminations0 Avatar

    Due to the environment I grew up in, I was socially and sexually stunted for a long while. I always kindof liked girls, but I didn’t really start feeling Sexuality until I was in college, so maybe around 17-18ish I started. It took me about another four years of personal exploration and development before I really settled on What All I Enjoyed sexually.

  4. welovegv Avatar

    Had a red headed babysitter when I was really young named Heather.

  5. Ecstatic-Age310 Avatar

    12 (thats also when I discovered corn lol and was disgusted at the mere thought of kissin another dude)

  6. Shaundrae Avatar

    I had my first girlfriend when I was four, so I have to imagine it was around then. I’m not even joking, I just started liking girls when I was very young lol.

  7. zohranorbust Avatar

    I was like five and had a dream about one of my teachers in nothing but a tank top and panties. She looked like a blonde Roma Downey

  8. ElegantMankey Avatar

    I remember having a massive crush on one of the girls in my class when I was 10.
    Pretty funny to be honest

  9. Outis918 Avatar

    I was trying to date a chick in kindergarden XD, I always loved women.

    In preschool, there was this redheaded chick I was close with. I wanted her to be my girlfriend, but so did my other friend. We were learning about sharing at the time in class, and we decided to tell the teachers we would share her! They laughed hard and told us that’s not how that worked hahahahah.

  10. ismawurscht Avatar

    I was 8 when I had my first crush on another boy, but I entered into an incredibly long period of self-denial and hyperclosetedness that was primarily due to the law at the time. Section 28 in the UK banned the “promotion of homosexuality” in schools, so all LGBT topics were illegal to discuss (even bullying). So there was a hostile culture of silence  where no one was out whilst the law was in place (two came out in my last two years after it was lifted) and rampant homophobia.

    I admitted I was attracted to men at 19, and fully came out as gay at 22.

  11. VandalFL Avatar

    I’ve always been drawn to women more than men even as a kid for my potential friends so the attraction has always been there. It became more than that when I was about 10 so pretty average I’d say. Girls are rad.

  12. jumboponcho Avatar

    Had a crush in pre-k, so 4 at the latest. Used to let her tag me on purpose in hide and seek

  13. asleepbydawn Avatar

    I always liked dudes… but definitely REALLY started to like them around grades 5, 6, 7. I guess 10 to 13-ish which I guess is the typical age.

  14. Fexofanatic Avatar

    if i had to guess, around age 6-10 (kinda vague memories time-wise)

  15. hoarduck Avatar

    Always. I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t interested in girls.

  16. wolfgang187 Avatar

    Think I was around 5 or 6, watching I Dream of Jeanie. Id seen the show before, but for whatever reason one day I looked at Barbara Eden as Jeanie and something just clicked. I started running around in circles and screaming at the TV (I didnt even really know why). My parents were just looking at me like I was crazy.

  17. Causification Avatar

    It’s hard to tell the difference between the role society taught me to play and my genuine feelings pre-puberty, but I’ve never related to boys and girls in the same way. Girls were always special.

  18. Strange-Ad-2426 Avatar

    6th grade, this girl was sitting in front of me in jeans and I couldn’t stop looking at her ass.

  19. lime-enthusiast Avatar

    I think I was about 10, watching WWE when I started taking more and more interest in the women wrestlers

  20. toffeehooligan Avatar

    I remember having crushes on girls even in 1st grade.

    What solidified my super heterosexuality though was 7th grade gym class, we had to divide between boys and girls for partnered sit ups. At the time, all the girls wore those wide legged soccer shorts.

    Panties as far as the eye could see.

    This awakening explains a few of my fetishes these days.

  21. DocJHigh Avatar

    7 year old me and Lola Bunny

  22. Temporary-Truth2048 Avatar

    I started school at three where I had my first crush on a girl. By five I had girls lined up at recess with their panties down showing me their goodies and I showed them mine. By eight my girlfriend and I were talking about having sex but I didn’t want to get her pregnant. By 12 I was getting a bj under the bleachers in the gym.

    One might say I’m advanced in this area.

  23. SeveralConcert Avatar

    I am gay and I was probably 13-14 when I certainly knew I liked men.
    Key moment was when I discovered masturbation and men quickly became my inspiration

  24. Lobinhu Avatar

    I believe it when I was 8, I had a crush on a classmate.

  25. Ov3rbyte719 Avatar

    Kim from power rangers lol

  26. Substantial_Judge931 Avatar

    I first realized that I was attracted to guys when I was 7. I didn’t develop an attraction to girls til sophomore year of high school. Now interesting enough I am much more attracted to girls than guys and have been for a couple years now

  27. 0ut_0f_st0ck Avatar

    I was 9 at home on a summer evening alone and Baywatch came on. That beach bounce run awakened something in me and a few days later I saw my neighbor through the window topless and realized this was better than ninja turtles.

  28. No_Nectarine6942 Avatar

    7 to 10 I had an idea.

  29. AddictedToMosh161 Avatar

    Probably 13 or 14. I was definitely very interested at 15.

  30. DirtysouthCNC Avatar

    Can’t remember. For as long as I recall being socially aware I knew I “liked” girls, even before I understood what exactly that meant.

  31. SadSickSoul Avatar

    Probably in my teens? I had a girl friend in elementary school but as little as I remember there wasn’t -attraction-. Meanwhile sometime in my early teens I have vague memories of finding girls attractive and being pissed off about it. After watching my dad be a lech as long as I could remember, I hated the idea of it so when puberty hit and I started finding women attractive, I was so fucking confused and angry about it. Puberty was rough.

  32. AbortionSurvivor777 Avatar

    About 5 years old. Earliest attraction I can remember was to my preschool teacher.

  33. KoriGlazialis Avatar

    I do remember having a crush on that one gal in shaman king, so i was prolly around 7 years old. And then I also had a crush on men a few times, but first properly realised that at about like 16/17?

  34. Invader9 Avatar

    I was six the first time I saw Android 18.

  35. Vordalik Avatar

    The first sexual attraction I had was to that one vampire bride scene in Bram Stoker’s Dracula around 13-14 years old, and I distinctly remember having my first crush between 8-10. Earlier than that I don’t think I had any attraction to girls in general. And my first crush was the then-15 daughter of my mother’s friend who totally wanted to hang with me and didn’t just babysit a child a couple of times over 3 years.

  36. myusername_sucks Avatar

    It was like kindergarten, so 5 or so.

  37. Antique_Soil9507 Avatar

    What kind of a question is this, seriously. Lol.

  38. Liz4984 Avatar

    It’s kind of been on ongoing evolution of events for me. I was born female. I wanted to be Male so badly I might have pursued it, if it hadn’t been 1994 in Alaska. Then in High school I realized it made me uncomfortable when a female classmate, who was gay, kept checking me out in the showers.

    I preferred sex exclusively with men. In about 2004ish I had a fiancé who wanted a threesome. We did with both men and women. I learned I could drive female equipment just to find it wasn’t really a turn on. Somewhere just before covid I had a female friend jump me sexually (just started kissing me out of the blue) and it was sexy as hell.

    Now, I’m somewhere in the vicinity of women are super sexy and I enjoy looking at them but I still prefer driving a male body for sex. Girls can get me off if the opportunity, arrises but I don’t seek out encounters with women.

  39. Billy_of_the_hills Avatar

    Further back than I can remember. My dad told me I was waving at pretty girls when I was a toddler.

  40. Knights_Fight Avatar

    Can’t necessarily say I realized I had attraction for women, but I was smitten with my mom’s best friend when I was five. Had my first crush & heartache at either six or seven (was in the first grade).

  41. unpopular-dave Avatar

    Probably fourth grade

  42. MyLittleDashie7 Avatar

    The earliest I can say for certain is 3 years old.

    My parents talk about going to see the Mask of Zorro in the cinema (which came out when I was 3) with me and my sisters, and during the scene where Catherine Zetta-Jones’ dress gets cut and falls off of her. To keep the movie appropriate, they obviously use her hair to hide her boobs, and I apparently said, out loud, for everyone else in the theatre to hear: “Aww, her hair is covering her!”

    So yeah, I was into ladies basically as soon as I was aware of them.

  43. Nurgle_Marine_Sharts Avatar

    I had two girlfriends in preschool haha, it started pretty early… Though that was probably more due to socialization than anything else.

    I started feeling sexual attraction at a pretty young age as well, maybe around 10 or 11. Puberty hit me like a truck tbh, I was 6ft tall when I turned 13 years old and I was growing a full beard + thick chest hair by 16.

  44. SendMeUrAnkles33 Avatar

    Like first grade

  45. ShadowBlade55 Avatar

    Dunno, it was always there. All the other kids acted like girls were icky so I did too. Didn’t help that I have always been hell socially awkward.

  46. BigGaloot23 Avatar

    Four at the oldest

  47. Telrom_1 Avatar

    There’s always been that attraction at some sub-primal level but around grades 5-6 it really became evident that this creature would not only be responsible for my best feelings but also my worst!

  48. Solid_Enthusiasm550 Avatar

    I have bad memory so the earliest is in 2nd or 3rd grade. It probably happened sooner.

  49. Ninjacat97 Avatar

    I (M27) experienced my bi awakening at a late 25 when I started getting Finnster clips in my Youtube feed and confirmed it at mid 26 when I went out with a cute autistic guy, a story I’ve told on here a couple times. According to my therapist, suddenly realising your sexuality really (relatively) late in life is fairly common in autists.

  50. GYN-k4H-Q3z-75B Avatar

    I always knew as far as I can remember. I don’t remember much prior to being 3-4 years old, but even then I saw women and it made me feel different. Like, she’s really pretty… and I remember being ashamed of it a bit later? I remember being infatuated with this girl in kindergarten. Specifically, she knew calendars and numbers and she was cute. So I ran to my mother and told her I wanted to marry her. Her name was Valeria.

    What is more is how my body reacted. I didn’t understand it at the time, but the male body does what it does. Sean Connery getting the girl in the movie? Lingerie models in ads? Older girls at the pool? I could not look away and my body was like, oh yes.

  51. Maleficent_Ad3944 Avatar

    I was about 5 when I realized I liked girls. Been striking out with them ever since. 

    Sandlot is a good movie. I’m taking my niece and nephew to aee it at the local theater today. It’s like $2 to get in. The nephew is 7 and never seen it before. 

  52. technofox01 Avatar

    I can say roughly 13 or 14 years old is when I realized that I found women attractive. I think that is normal for most men/boys around that age.

  53. moffman93 Avatar

    To tell an embarrassing and hopefully relatable story, me and my neighbor tried to “have sex” in like 5th or 6th grade. But we didn’t really know what it meant or how to do it. Just that a penis and vagina was involved, that’s all we knew. So we laid on top of each other naked one day on her bed after school. Totally flaccid penis. At one point like 20 seconds in (no penetration) I’m like, “I don’t feel anything, do you?”

    Her – “No, I don’t think we are doing this right.”

    Needless to say we gave up and I didn’t lose my virginity until 16 haha

  54. MetalHeadJakee Avatar

    14.. I was downloading wwe theme songs on Limewire to burn to a custom CD disk and downloaded a video called “Triple H WWE Theme”. Clicked on it and it played a porno of Trish Stratus and whilst confused about why it wasn’t the theme song. I felt aroused by Trish Stratus. Also I had a werid crush on 2006 WWE Lita when I watched WWE as a kid. Found her to be incredibly attractive

    Also a year later I developed a huge crush on this girl who I was friends with. We kissed and I remember really enjoying it and being excited about having a girlfriend or being in a relationship with a woman.

    Now I just feel attraction towards women. I don’t do anything unless a woman consents and likes me back and I respect boundaries but I do feel attraction towards women and that’s how I found out and know im straight

  55. mis-Hap Avatar

    Can’t remember kindergarten or earlier too well. Definitely remember liking girls in 1st grade (~6 years old) and even remember the name of the girl I had a crush on (over 30 years later).

  56. Amazing-Steak Avatar

    Always was – my first crush was Kimberly the Pink Ranger at 3 years old

  57. Livid-Age-2259 Avatar

    5 years old. We went to see the original Snow White. I was smitten immediately.

  58. Tayaradga Avatar

    I’d say somewhere in middle school. Like 7th grade I think, so I was a bit of a late bloomer.

  59. MrRoss_50 Avatar

    Maybe 7th or 8th grade, around the time I had a girl flirt with me (Jr High type of flirting) and it made my body just react like it was on fire (heat, tingly, really focused in on her and wondering wtf fuck was going on with me).

  60. hatfieldmichael Avatar

    Notice them or really interested? I liked them in elementary school, really got interested in middle school.

  61. DFWPunk Avatar

    At most 5. And that’s probably only because I don’t remember much before that.

  62. Kinky23m2m Avatar

    Growing up, us neighborhood kids didn’t know any different, we would swim nude, play Doctors and Nurses, it wasn’t under sex eduction in 8th grade and puberty that we felt guilty and wrong. By then I had sexual relations with girls, and mostly other boys who knew more than I did.

  63. Jorojr Avatar

    I saw Daryl Hannah in the movie “Splash.” I was 5.

  64. TLDRuserisdumb Avatar

    Probably around the age of 4 or 5.

  65. michaelpaoli Avatar

    6, possibly younger that I don’t remember specifically.

  66. CheezitCheeve Avatar

    So uh, I have an interesting story cause a certain flag in my profile.

    Girls: it was always a thing. Always trying to find a best female friend. Always being awkward-kid flirty in elementary school because I didn’t know what feelings were.

    Guys: it wasn’t until recently that I realized there were friendships where my boundaries were gray. I wanted to do more. I wanted to keep going with my guy friends. That combined with getting a crush on my Japanese professor (a similarly aged Japanese college student) that it clicked.

  67. aloofman75 Avatar

    Maybe 6 or 7. Lynda Carter as Wonder Woman.

  68. Jalex2321 Avatar

    Attracted, always.

    Somehow, female beauty catches your attention. You like watching the pretty girl in class or have an opinion on a girl at the movies or tv series that you like.

    Sexually attracted? Yeah, like 4th or 5th grade… i knew i wanted a gf… I’m not sure exactly what for, but I was already liking female interaction.

  69. HungryAd8233 Avatar

    Certainly by Kindergarten. I remember talking to my mom about being curious about a girl in my class.

  70. TheBooneyBunes Avatar

    Like forever, it’s almost as if it’s part of our genes

  71. KentuckyFriedEel Avatar

    I was a child that hadn’t entered puberty yet, but Winona Ryder in the 90s was so…. Nice looking. Like i couldn’t focus on anything else but her face. I just wanted to be near her.

  72. Trancetastic16 Avatar

    Emotional crushes that weren’t quite romantic curiosity? Since I was 6.

    Romantically curious “puppy love” crushes and physical attraction? Since 11.

    Deeper romantically curious crushes with the hopes to meet a life partner? Since 16.

  73. MyCababbages Avatar

    As a guy i realized i was not straight when i think i was 21

  74. Ok-Vermicelli-7807 Avatar

    I had a crush on a girl in my kindergarten class.

    So, like 5 years old.

    It wasn’t a sexual attraction (cause I was fuckin 5) but idk I “like liked” her at the time.

  75. 86redditmods Avatar

    13

    I walked into a wall checking out my grade female school crush lol I learned i like redheads that day

  76. ifeelaglow Avatar

    I was about 12 when I realized I was attracted to men. I had crushes before that, but didn’t recognize them as such.

  77. Angry_GorillaBS Avatar

    I remember my first year of baseball chasing the little neighbor at the baseball field around before and after games and stuff. I’d guess that probably counts. So, 6 or 7 maybe?

    Boys wasn’t until 11 or 12 maybe.

  78. Jumpy_Gazelle_9067 Avatar

    2nd grade. Or 1995 to be more precise. I saw the trailer of the movie Rangeela. All those clips of Urmila Matondkar running on the beach in her petticoat woke me up to the fact that I wanted more that form of beauty in my life. Coming across Karishma Kapoor simply reaffirmed the emotion. So straight that I feel sad for the gays. No hate, but just a straight up disbelief, I don’t know how to explain it. But yeah, the realisation set in at age 8.

  79. great_nathanian Avatar

    When I was 6 or 7. My aunt and cousin who was 13/14 at the time took me into their bathroom and pulled their pants down and showed me how girls are different than boys.

    I had my first crush when I was 10 in third grade.

    Had my first girlfriend at 11 (We dated for like 45 minutes)

    I was 13 when I had my second girlfriend (We dated on and off for 3 weeks)

    At 15 I had my third girlfriend (We dated for like 1 hour) then dated again for 3 hours 💀

    At 16 I had my first serious relationship (we dated for on and off for two years.)

  80. L-F-O-D Avatar

    2nd grade. My son is 5 and into them.

  81. Chibbzee91 Avatar

    As far back as I can remember.

  82. CringeDaddy-69 Avatar

    Second grade I was madly in love with a girl. I made her valentine cards everyday for a week until I was told that it was only January.

  83. RobinGood94 Avatar

    I’m 31. I realized in kindergarten. There was a girl who would make my heart flutter. She was a total angel.

  84. ProperPizza Avatar

    UK here. I was never attracted to girls. I brought it up once or twice before I was 10 to my parents, and they didn’t think it was worrying at all. They were saying, well you’re just not that age yet. Don’t worry about it.

    But the feeling never came. By the time I was 12 I was desperate to convince myself to like girls, but I never managed it.

    But, other boys? I found *plenty* of them attractive. I was probably about 8, the first time I felt that funny feeling about another guy. However, I spent a long time locking that feeling down and trying to fight it. I didn’t talk to anyone about it. I spent years in denial, and it all came bursting out when I was 17. If you go that long without bringing a girl home, it starts to become obvious.

    I now joke to my older brother that he kept all the “straight genes” for himself.

  85. ScienceAteMyKid Avatar

    From before my earliest memories, so like 3 years old and younger.

  86. THEpeterafro Avatar

    Was aware of my interest in girls a young age that I do not remember (defiantly single digits). Became aware of my interest in men when I was 14

  87. bittybitesmeowmixx Avatar

    I THOUGHT I liked girls from preschool onwards, but when I think back I totally had a crush on this boy Tommy in preschool, and that kept happening in other grades. Somehow, I don’t know if it was self delusion or what, even with me having a gay father, I hadn’t even CONSIDERED that I didn’t really like girls, but did very much so like guys until sophomore year when my friends confronted me about it and were like “you’re gay, you can tell us, it’s not gonna change anything we know already.” I was like “…. Oh, shit yeah you’re probably right!” And I thought about it more and more, and realized it was DEFINITELY true, then I’ve been openly gay ever since, even though I live in the south in a pretty homophobic environment. I’ve always just told myself that I would look pathetic pretending I’m someone I’m not, and that would probably draw more disdain down on me. Sorry, that was a lot lol

  88. SkydivingSquid Avatar

    My first crush was in Kindergarten. Second crush was in 1st grade to about the 3rd grade. After that, I crushed on this one girl for like 10 years and was always too afraid to talk to her. Didn’t start dating until I was 16. But yeah, definitely knew I liked girls very early on.

    Probably freaked my parents out though, because we went to Sea World and I wanted a barbie doll set when I was still very young. Why? Because my favorite animal at the time was a Dolphin and it came with a dolphin. Played more with the dolphin than the doll. I imagine my parents were very concerned for a bit lol Still got the doll though 😛

  89. RainbowEagleEye Avatar

    Always been into girls, deeply cemented when I had my first crush. Legit felt like a movie when the new girl walked in all pretty with the sun shining on her when we were like 12.

  90. neon-cactus12 Avatar

    Thought I was straight until 15, then thought I was bi until 17.

  91. Just_Another_Scott Avatar

    3/4 years old. I had crushes on girls in kindergarten.

  92. SteakAndIron Avatar

    First or second grade. Emily.

  93. YourDadsUsername Avatar

    I had a strong crush on a girl in preschool. I was somewhere between 3 and 5. My mom said even as a baby I would get extra interested in pretty women from my stroller.

  94. deslask Avatar

    Lile 12, but I found them pretty (some of them), still not sexually attracted tho

  95. malik753 Avatar

    I remember being attracted to women first. Like the pink power ranger, or Catwoman in Batman Returns. I was like 4 or 5. But I also had a curiosity about the girl next door. Also, I am bi, so to a lesser extent I was also having some curiosities about a few of the boys next door. I grew up in a really homophobic time though so that part was very confusing for a very long time. But I liked girls pretty early. I had my first kiss at 13 and had sex with a woman for the first time at 20, but I would have done both way earlier if I had had my way.

  96. SeniorMoonlight21 Avatar

    I am gay. I have always be attracted to other guys. I can’t remember when I wasn’t. Even as a kid I liked other boys at school (must have been around 6-7) and had crushes on male celebs/cartoon characters. Didn’t know I was gay though until like 8 or 9, but only since I didn’t know what the word gay meant and that age was when I found out what it meant.

    Although I didn’t come out until like 16, I had no issues with actually knowing who I was sexuality wise. Helped that my family didn’t care about gay people and one of my aunts is gay. So it was always an accepting environment.

  97. DeaddyRuxpin Avatar

    My ideal woman is a description of my first babysitter. She stopped babysitting me and my oldest sister took over when I was around 5. So clearly before 5 I knew I liked girls.

  98. CreoleCoullion Avatar

    When a girl who had asked me out in 6th grade right before summer break hit puberty and came back looking WAY more mature than her age. Some people develop slowly when they hit their growth spurt… she was on a speed run. I saw her in the parking lot of the K-Mart right before school was back in and my dad made fun of me because he saw my jaw drop at the sight of her.

  99. AskDerpyCat Avatar

    I mean. Probably about the time puberty hit

  100. kaosethema Avatar

    I had a crush on a girl in pre-school

  101. im_in_hiding Avatar

    Princess Jasmine did it for me I think.

  102. eichy815 Avatar

    Gay, here. Me fantasizing about my male classmates while I was learning how to masturbate (alone in my bedrooms) should have been a tip-off for me. But I was still in denial.

    Eventually, I tried to convince myself I was bisexual because that “wasn’t as bad”…

  103. Lunaforlife Avatar

    Since kindergarten

  104. RaphealWannabe Avatar

    from the time I was 6 and then it ended when I was 38. 

  105. Dud3_Abid3s Avatar

    Always have…not always sexually but I’ve always been attracted to them.

  106. NoSisSM406 Avatar

    I was 8 years old and my parents were watching Eyes Wide Shut. I snuck out of my room and started watching it in secret and the scene during the sex party thing that showed naked women (I don’t remember everything exactly of that scene). That was the moment I knew for fact I like women

  107. KingOfTheCouch13 Avatar

    5 years old. I was in love with my kindergarten teacher.

  108. No_Mistake5238 Avatar

    I don’t remember if I had specifically liked/been attracted to a single person in Kindergarten, but I had wanted to be around one or two of the girls in my class, and then in first grade was when I actually was attracted to one. And that’s happened for quite some time, was even attracted to the same chick for years even though I was friendzoned. Eventually got over it though and found my current girl, so yeah…I’ve known for a while I like women.

  109. CyBroOfficial Avatar

    It took me until 4th grade to start liking other people, so I must have been around 9 or 10, and that was just because one of my neighbor’s daughters was interested in me, and we just kind of clicked and started dating out of nowhere. I still think about her a lot and wonder if we would’ve still been together if life stuff and things with my parents didn’t happen.

    This whole thread is making me question if something is wrong with me LMAO, I didn’t even know how dating worked until I was maybe 7 or 8. For some reason I always assumed my mom and dad were siblings because they looked so similar (they are not, I promise lol). Good thing I didn’t know about the birds and the bees back then, I would have been devastated.