There is a saying “the older I get the smarter my dad became”. dad passed 11 years ago at 74, this has been proven true over and over again. He had to drop out of school in the 9th grade to work, but he retired early to enjoy life, he gave me the soundest financial advice, I am 58 and heave been retired for 4 years.
much much worse. My dad set very high and unrealistic expectations for me as a kid and now, raising one myself, it just makes me so mad to think about how he expected me to do things at these ages that I’d never expect my own kid to. He basically wanted me to be a mind reader, though, to be fair.
I had an incredibly hard first 8 years of my life. My sperm donor is the worst human being I have known. He was physically abusive in some of the worst possible ways. I several of those days where mom kept me home from school, if you know what I mean. Mom got us away from that POS. In a complete stroke of luck, she later married my dad, who was the complete opposite. Just an amazing dude. Who knows where I would be without him. But i had trauma. I got a call from an unknown number 15 years ago. She told me she was my biological aunt and was letting me know that my sperm donor (her brother) had died. I laughed out loud and told her, “good!!!”
When wife and I had our first baby, a girl, we were taken up to a hospital room after the delivery. A few hours later, my in-laws arrived to check on their daughter. MIL was holding our baby when my wife realized I had not yet held her. MIL put her in my arms, unexpected emotion washed over me, and I sat down on the little couch and bawled my eyes out. Just sobbing. Full on ugly cry. I couldn’t stop. I got her little blanket wet with my tears. Everyone in the room were alarmed. Wife, a few hours after given birth, came over and sat beside me and said, “it’s okay. I’m here.” In that little moment, I just couldn’t for the life of me, understand how anyone can harm their own child. I still can’t understand it.
I went through 4 divorces (via my mother) by time I was 18. My dad gave up custodial rights when I was 8. In my 40s, newly divorced with a couple young kids, I told him I understood and couldn’t judge him for what he did. He got screwed by the system for being a man.
My dad married my mom and adopted my younger brother and I when we were 3 and 2 years old. We were never touchy feely close, but I always knew he loved me. He never missed one of my high school ball games, took us fishing although he didn’t care for it, etc. As I got older and had kids of my own, I began to realize how much he gave up taking in two little asswipes like my brother and me. He’s been gone almost 30 years now, but I can’t thank him enough for what he gave us.
Comments
There is a saying “the older I get the smarter my dad became”. dad passed 11 years ago at 74, this has been proven true over and over again. He had to drop out of school in the 9th grade to work, but he retired early to enjoy life, he gave me the soundest financial advice, I am 58 and heave been retired for 4 years.
much much worse. My dad set very high and unrealistic expectations for me as a kid and now, raising one myself, it just makes me so mad to think about how he expected me to do things at these ages that I’d never expect my own kid to. He basically wanted me to be a mind reader, though, to be fair.
Yes,
I went from Well, he doesn’t care about me, whatever.
to
How the F*** could he miss this?
I went from not caring that he wasn’t in my life to not understanding why he didn’t want to be in my life.
I love my kids. I don’t get how someone could not love their kids.
I had an incredibly hard first 8 years of my life. My sperm donor is the worst human being I have known. He was physically abusive in some of the worst possible ways. I several of those days where mom kept me home from school, if you know what I mean. Mom got us away from that POS. In a complete stroke of luck, she later married my dad, who was the complete opposite. Just an amazing dude. Who knows where I would be without him. But i had trauma. I got a call from an unknown number 15 years ago. She told me she was my biological aunt and was letting me know that my sperm donor (her brother) had died. I laughed out loud and told her, “good!!!”
When wife and I had our first baby, a girl, we were taken up to a hospital room after the delivery. A few hours later, my in-laws arrived to check on their daughter. MIL was holding our baby when my wife realized I had not yet held her. MIL put her in my arms, unexpected emotion washed over me, and I sat down on the little couch and bawled my eyes out. Just sobbing. Full on ugly cry. I couldn’t stop. I got her little blanket wet with my tears. Everyone in the room were alarmed. Wife, a few hours after given birth, came over and sat beside me and said, “it’s okay. I’m here.” In that little moment, I just couldn’t for the life of me, understand how anyone can harm their own child. I still can’t understand it.
I went through 4 divorces (via my mother) by time I was 18. My dad gave up custodial rights when I was 8. In my 40s, newly divorced with a couple young kids, I told him I understood and couldn’t judge him for what he did. He got screwed by the system for being a man.
I thought highly of him before I had kids. And I think highly of him now.
He was tough he was fair he expected the best out of me he loved me he was and still is a good man.
Is the kind of dad that I strive to be.
The one lesson I learned was not to work as much as he did. Also to retire in my fifties like he did
My dad married my mom and adopted my younger brother and I when we were 3 and 2 years old. We were never touchy feely close, but I always knew he loved me. He never missed one of my high school ball games, took us fishing although he didn’t care for it, etc. As I got older and had kids of my own, I began to realize how much he gave up taking in two little asswipes like my brother and me. He’s been gone almost 30 years now, but I can’t thank him enough for what he gave us.
Yes