Humans are getting a 2.0 update, what organs would you like to see and what would they do?

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Humans are getting a 2.0 update, what organs would you like to see and what would they do?

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  1. West-Parfait-3439 Avatar

    No organs needed, I just want my back pain gone

  2. Meltz014 Avatar

    Bioluminescence somewhere. 

    2nd liver 

    A tail

  3. Ban-Circumcision-Now Avatar

    A regeneration organ, ability to stay as an adult and regenerate as needed to stay around 30, plus i could regrow my natural foreskin with all of its nerves

  4. unserious-dude Avatar

    Nightvision. Would solve a lot of problems.

  5. CoffeTattoos Avatar

    A better liver to process alcohol like I’m forever 22

  6. HeadFit2660 Avatar

    Detachable penis

  7. Curious_Test6065 Avatar

    Something to decide what’s for dinner every night without having to think about it

  8. SlapDatBassBro Avatar

    A second heart, for starters. Medical professionals, biologists and Doctor Who fans will see why this is such a fun idea.

    An organ that sits on the roof your mouth, the shape and size of your tongue, without affecting your speech would be fun, also. It has a bristly texture, and is capable of producing the same cleaning substances found in toothpastes and mouthwashes, always being there on standby for you, so you can clean your teeth automatically, essentially.

    Also, I’m not on the practically of it, but an organ that sits just above the anus, capable of compacting sloppy, or diarrhoea kinda poos into solid, nugget shapes before releasing them would be super helpful, to me, IBS sufferers, etc. A guy can dream!

  9. Adept-History-3100 Avatar

    I just want wings so I can fly for free, Spirit Airlines ain’t it fam 🤣

  10. Typical-Strands Avatar

    BETTER FUCKING SHOULDERS

    Humans don’t have gokd shoulders given that we’re some of the furst bipeds. But out shoulder anatomy is wild, like literally just exists, no socket, nothing. Shoulders are too easy to injure.

  11. queuedUp Avatar

    I mean… As an older model of the current version it’s sort of irrelevant. I’m sure I’m out of warranty and not upgradable.

    More than likely I’ll simply be discarded as obsolete

  12. reddfawks Avatar

    The ability to regenerate teeth like sharks do.

    Oh I’m gonna chew so many pencils!

  13. dadbodcod Avatar

    A working pancreas

  14. ethan__l2 Avatar

    Sinuses without all those small labyrinthlike passages. A digestive system like an incinerating garbage chute.

  15. Legio-X Avatar

    Redundant nervous system would be nice

  16. FlashyHandl Avatar

    Faster processing power of brain.

  17. masked_joker20 Avatar

    One that is able to dissolve kidney stone.

  18. Radiomaster138 Avatar

    New balls for men. Evolution or some god thought it was funny to design the testicular artery to be restricted when swollen past the pampiniform plexus when sexually aroused for too long.

  19. Amanda-sb Avatar

    Everybody would be intersex and have boobs, this would probably achieve world peace.

  20. WhoKilledRock Avatar

    Advanced white blood cells, able to find and kill and ordinarily or advanced sicknesses including flu, Covid, cancer. Along with neurological diseases like als and so on.

  21. Hispanicpanic7 Avatar

    Something that changes it so that we don’t pass food through the same place we need to breathe

  22. Heil69 Avatar

    I hope the appendix was just a teaser for the human body DLC in which the appendix packs in tons of new content & features

  23. zenos_dog Avatar

    The ability to update my own firmware. Brain cleansing while still awake so I don’t have to sleep.

    The ability to regulate my weight.

  24. catrassp Avatar

    A desert stomach different to the food stomach 😌✨

  25. searaybo Avatar

    Breathing and eating/drinking would now be split to use their own separate paths. No more choking to death by eating too fast, swallowing wrong, or trying to swallow too big of a bite. If the current design had been created by someone, it was created by an idiot. Or a commitee. Committees may have intelligent people, but as a group they’re one big idiot. This definitely could have been created by a committee.

  26. AdorkableUtahn Avatar

    The immune system of a horseshoe crab.

    Teeth that regrow.

  27. Perfect_Zone_4919 Avatar

    G spot relocated to just under my tongue so when I’m in a boring conversation I can just push down on it. 

  28. epppennn Avatar

    Regenerating teeth

    Instead of monthly periods… figure out away to just send an email once a month that just says “not pregnant” or “pregnant”

  29. Hashtagworried Avatar

    Everyone gets the same height. You can all thank me later ladies and gentlemen.

  30. Adlehyde Avatar

    Lots of really fun ones in here already. I’d like to add an additional gland in the brain that functions as an extra sensory perception, allowing telepathic communication, but also functions as an iron clad bullshit detector, making it functionally impossible for people to be misled by misinformation or fall into conspiracy theories.

  31. ryyu019 Avatar

    The ability to not only fight off cancer but overpower it with no effort

  32. OppositeEagle Avatar

    A second liver.

  33. HumpieDouglas Avatar

    A prehensile penis. It just hangs there being useless most of the time. Help me out from time to time. I could use an extra hand folding fitted sheets.

  34. Voltae Avatar

    Gills that work in both salt and fresh water while also keeping our lungs.

    A nictitating membrane that goes dark in bright sunlight, like transition glasses.

    A compass like migrating birds have.

    Sex physically can’t happed unless everyone involved consents.

  35. _Annihilatrix_ Avatar

    Wings, I just want wings…and the intelligence of a crow. check that, i want to be a crow

  36. Critical-Ad-5215 Avatar

    A duplicate of every organ, you never know when a barrel will fall and break your spine

  37. Kimorin Avatar

    cut and heat resistant skin

  38. Patient_Driver8857 Avatar

    We need better knees fr

  39. IamGeoMan Avatar

    An appendage that stores karma. Gain karma, spend karma. Hopefully more people become less shitty towards others.

  40. TheOctoBox Avatar

    I’d like to see alt-right develop common sense… so a brain?

  41. john_jdm Avatar

    Separate pathways for breathing and eating, please. Also completely separate facilities for sex and waste removal.

  42. Trainrot Avatar

    Breathe tube and eat tube are separated, backs get an upgrade, nictitating membrane.

  43. El_gato_picante Avatar

    More brain power.

  44. MysteryMan999 Avatar

    A stem cell organ that generates healthy stem cells and tells them to replace missing or damaged organs. Like imagine having heart issues and your body just sends healthy stem cells to completely fix your own heart. Or imagine having an amputation and your body overtime can regenerate the lost limb.

  45. NOSWT-AvaTarr Avatar

    Two things, 1: a big ol tail to help with balance and have it be fully controllable to use as a 5th limb.

    2, bring back the secondary transparent eyelid from the early access updates for seeing underwater

  46. loki143 Avatar

    Hove teeth continually grow new tooth whenever there is an empty space

  47. psycharious Avatar

    Wolverine like Regeneration.

  48. tardigrade_phd Avatar

    Chlorophyll and gills. So humans can just lay in the sun for their nutritional needs and be amphibious.

  49. __Username__Taken___ Avatar

    Much stronger, faster healing skin – and other organs

  50. Krail Avatar

    Can we get a fix for retinas so that the optic nerve doesn’t cause a blind spot?

  51. ShoeNo9050 Avatar

    Air tank. I want us to be able to hold like a few mins of air for when we start suffocating

  52. Project_XJ Avatar

    Gills. I mean come on people we can only explore so much of the earth in our current condition.

  53. tampering Avatar

    Bifircated penis and dual uteruses.

  54. seleucus24 Avatar

    In men the urinary tract takes a very inefficient route through the body. This leads to painful and long lasting passing of kidney stones. Also I would like a kidney stone breaker downer organ, so I can enjoy Iced Tea again.

  55. mikebrown33 Avatar

    Ability to understand and speak any language

  56. Equivalent_Seat6470 Avatar

    Gills so we can breathe underwater. Another stomach to help with digestion. An extra set of smaller lens in our eyes so we can have telescopic vision. (Not sure if that counts as another organ or just an adaption of an existing organ in this scenario) 

  57. throw123454321purple Avatar

    New organ that just churns out neverending stem cells upon demand.

  58. I-Fail-Forward Avatar
    1. Fix the damn spine already.

    2. Dont run recreation and waste removal through the same real estate

    3. A better way to get rid of plaque buildup in the arteries and veins, thats like the #1 cause of death in humans.

  59. Roar_Intention Avatar

    I would like an update to kidneys. When they inevitably create a kidney stone, can they be smooth and possibly slippery. It would make them much easier to pass then the current broken glass type we have now.

    Thank you.

  60. mistresslust69 Avatar

    Be more empathetic and less greedy

  61. Prestigious_Unit_774 Avatar

    Have an upper limit for fat gain. 

  62. Mr_Lumbergh Avatar

    A second liver, and my body alternates between them so one is healing while the other is in use.

  63. 2eDgY4redd1t Avatar

    Functioning brains would be nice. It’s become increasingly obvious that many of the human race lack them.

  64. GamesGunsGreens Avatar

    Just give me the adamantium update and I’ll be good.

  65. shebabbleslikeaidiot Avatar

    Regenerate teeth, but only if a tooth gets damaged – cavity/chipped/knocked out. I don’t want to be losing teeth constantly, that would just be too much.

  66. Sensei_Ochiba Avatar

    Advanced Appendix that digests plastic, and also processes extra fat directly into poop

  67. Prestigious_Unit_774 Avatar

    The ability to photosynthesize. This would solve food shortage issues. 

  68. iarlandt Avatar

    Chloromast – an organ that processes intake from new chloroplasts in skin cells to decrease food intake requirements by synthesizing sunlight into useful energy for the body.

  69. freeshivacido Avatar
    1. A clean money organ. This organ would make all my bills and loose change sparkling clean.

    2. Waste bladder organ. This organ would allow me to poo and pee in my pants at movies.

    3. Dog organ. This organ would carry my dog on walks.

    4. Car organ. Same as above.

    5. Teleportation organ. This organ would allow me to climb into it and promptly arrive in honalooloo

  70. rand0fand0 Avatar

    The forever organ upgrade you get the latest version

  71. SilenceToSerenades Avatar

    I want to see us all grow both male and female genitalia.. both positioned as to fuck ones self, and if interested, impregnate ones self. We then head into an evolution of man kind, led by asexual reproduction.

  72. Hoe-la Avatar

    A brain that shuts up on demand

  73. Ok-Lavishness-7904 Avatar

    Appendix repurposed to better digest processed foods

  74. eurotec4 Avatar

    I’m going to use some of my free time and brainpower to fantasize.

    Somniferous: Brain cleansing, body repair, and all other processes that happen during sleep should automatically happen, starting in sunset and ending in sunrise, that does not require the person to sleep: no more sleep needed.

    Aquatic: Lungs are upgraded. They will no longer be damaged by smoking or any other detrimental gases. Plus, the lungs will be able to absorb the oxygen from ocean water and any other type of non-distilled water, even though water has significantly less oxygen than

    Aging: There should be an organ (located anywhere in the body that does not restrict any movement) that blocks all cells from aging and declining. This organ should stop all aging at ages around 20-25, commencing the era of human biological immortality, similar to the Turritopsis Dohrnii.

    Immunity: The immune system is upgraded to an extreme extent. Nano-bot like immune cells would be difficult to destroy and hacks like locating any malicious microscopic organism and mass slaughtering them instantly. For instance, rabies would have 0% fatality instead of the current ~99.9%, since the nano-bot like dreadnought immune cells would find the lyssavirus(es) and eliminate them immediately. Chronic medical conditions would be a lot less severe or non-existent.

    Brain: The brain is also upgraded to an extreme extent. Neurons should have the ability to prune any unwanted information but also instantly permanently bind any new information. This means that learning would be a lot easier, just one glimpse at a topic would permanently install that information into your brain in seconds. For instance, languages would take about a couple weeks to learn to an intermediate level or more.

    Regeneration: The brain or a new organ located anywhere around the body that does not interfere with movements or pain, should be able to detect any missing body part and regrow to complete regeneration. This includes any body part. For instance, the appendix, foreskin, amputated limbs, gallbladder, teeth, and any other missing organs, organelles, or body parts should have the ability to completely regenerate in a matter of weeks. However, since I’ve mentioned the brain, certain parts should be able to remain in one’s desires and opinions. Any missing body part that one does not want either should not be regenerated.

  75. StickOnReddit Avatar

    I just want plug-and-play gender bits

    Like I don’t think I’m an egg but just lemme try a proper women’s body for like a week just to be sure. For science.

  76. Nerdy_Nightowl Avatar

    Regenerating teeth. cavity? regenerate! An undate in back design would be a very close 2nd.

  77. Specific_Result469 Avatar

    I’d actually like food to be optional, easy weight control, and waste from ingestion to be used for energy rather than causing us to spend time in the bathroom. Sleep becomes optional and unnecessary and teeth are more durable and regrowable.

  78. zoqfotpik Avatar

    Every human should have a 100% accurate bullshit detector.

  79. yinzer_v Avatar

    Sinuses that actually drain, and upgraded knees for sports, running, and lifting objects.

    An off switch that can be set to wake you up in 6-8 hours.

  80. callmrplowthatsme Avatar

    Regenerate like lobsters

  81. 2Scarhand Avatar

    Simplify the feet. Maybe make them like an ostrich or camel. No more rolled ankles, no more stubbed pinky toes, no more of this overcomplicated “hands turned into feet” nonsense that’s the root of all sorts of foot, leg, and spine problems.

  82. IAmNotAlex_ Avatar

    We want a toggle switch for pain.

  83. summonsays Avatar

    Small organ that just makes stem cells and sends them wherever your having problems. 

    Joints getting fucked up by arthritis? Have some new cartilage. Heart problems? Let’s get those patches up. Smokers lung, you want a new lung instead? Oh your tooth fell out. Don’t worry we’ll grow you a new one in 6 months.

  84. malevolentasshat Avatar

    A digestive tract/ genitalia connection that stores hard fat in the penis instead of literally everywhere but.

  85. Suitable_Ad6848 Avatar

    Enhanced brain that gives me telekinesis. Gimme that and I’m gucci. 

  86. Narrow_Slice_7383 Avatar

    echolocation(bat), electromagnetic field and absolute direction awareness(bee), regenerative pancreas, eyes can see more colors(birds), enhanced eyes anatomy (octopus), three USB 3.0 port and a C-type port, strengthened spine, unlimited teeth(shark), no more aging (lobster), highly regenerative tissues(dolphin, hippo, axolotl), funny cat tail for no reasons

  87. 2Scarhand Avatar

    Update the uterus so there’s no more periods. No bleeding, no pain, no mood swings. Hell, fix it so there’s like a mating season or something; the bits don’t work except for one month out of the year. A knock-on effect of a less active uterus would probably be less cancer, so it’s a win-win.

  88. Bellum_Blades Avatar

    Ability to photosynthesize using melanin and ability to regenerate

  89. LOL_YOUMAD Avatar

    Better digestive system upgrade. Make it to where you can get everything out before leaving and to not have any of those unfortunate times where you have to go when driving or doing something without a restroom around. 

  90. RoarOfTheWorlds Avatar

    I mean I’d like to see some boobies to squeeze but I doubt that helps you much

  91. cuntassaurusrex Avatar

    I’d like to be able to take my brain out and give it a dunk in cold water. Maybe give it a scratch.