My husband has been totally gaslighting me lately, very emotionally unavailable and basically he is refusing to apologize for anything he does wrong. Last weekend we went to our cabin in the woods, ONE fly got in the house because I left the door open too long and he told me I should “dig a hole” basically implying I should kill myself because a fly is in the house. I completely shut down after that and then he asked me why I was in a bad mood. I explained it was driven by him and he basically said I was being dramatic, and crazy. He didn’t apologize and instead he threw in my face that he went to ONE doctors appointment of mine (I have an autoimmune condition that has been getting worse) and how I’ve never gone to any of his appointments. I didn’t ask him to go, he offered as it was in a different city. Few days later while we were laying in bed I literally tried hugging him and he yelled at me and said I was SO ANNOYING and he is trying to sleep as he has work in the morning (we both work). He then continued to say rude crap. Next day no apology, acted like nothing absolutely happened and asked me if I wanted to go on vacation. This is becoming a pattern with him and I am not sure what’s going on. Any time I confront him he basically just deflects and says I am the problem. Is it time to walk away?
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He needs to become your ex husband, do not put up with his abuse any longer. Talk to a divorce attorney. Don’t waste any more time with him you deserve better.
He doesn’t love you, much less like you.
Do better because you deserve better.
To me it sounds like he’s over it or cheating. He’s gaslighting you though and it sounds like he’s controlling. Just what I see.
I hope you make this man lonely. ASAP.
He’s either going through manopause or he’s met someone else.
Maybe he’s got a side-piece who tells him all the time how great he is and can do nothing wrong? He’s being rude and dismissive to you because he thinks he can do better.
Let him go and divorce, this is no way to live your life. You deserve better!
Stop allowing this. Have some self respect, Hand him divorce papers and be done.
I feel like there may be some mental illness at play here. From what I read, he seems to be Jekyll and Hyde. I’m guessing he’ll probably refuse to go to counseling as from what you have described he doesn’t feel he has a problem, so if you can get him to go, there may be hope, otherwise, I agree with the other commenters, it is time to devise an exit strategy.