Husband of 14 years passed suddenly. Just found out he left everything to his secret lover of 3 years.

r/

We have a 7 year old and a 18 month old. He left me just enough for funeral arrangements.

How do I manage all these feelings of anger, grief, sadness, all while taking care of our children and not knowing how to explain their father will never come home? I am so lost. Has anyone been in a similar position and have advice?

I am having dinner with the AP tonight. Idk what to expect. I hope she is level headed. I think I mostly needed to vent. Not sure if anyone will read this or care. Probably not.

Comments

  1. Made_Bail Avatar

    I’m reading. And I care.

    But this is way beyond anything you’re going to get help with on Reddit. You need someone professional to talk to ASAP. This is a big one. Please take care of you, take care of your kids, and don’t blame yourself.

    Good luck. <3

  2. qtqy Avatar

    I’m incredibly sorry for your circumstances.

  3. iknowsomethings2 Avatar

    You need to speak to a lawyer asap! See if you can contest the will.

    I’m so sorry your late husband was such a cheating pos

  4. PeachPit-Choking Avatar

    What country do you live in? Don’t you have any rights as his legal wife?

  5. CivMom Avatar

    Oh, hell. I can’t even comprehend what you are going through. Hugs. And get an attorney. Contest that shit.

  6. houseonpost Avatar

    Consult a lawyer asap. Depending on the jurisdiction you and your children may have a case to gain the inheritance.

  7. LawfulnessBest1908 Avatar

    Going to vary from state to state, but unless your child was specially disinherited they may have a claim to a portion of the inheritance regardless. Local lawyer will be your first stop. 

  8. Curious_Baby_3892 Avatar

    Definitely seek out a lawyer to go over your marriage structure. Its possible that he could leave separated assets with her but not things acquired after marriage if you both didn’t sign a pre-nup. Imo, that should default to you.

  9. FSmertz Avatar

    I’d suggest putting your time into finding a really good family law attorney who can challenge the will. I don’t know if meeting with a person with such poor character as his AP is the smart thing to do.

  10. xxdevil_in_disguise Avatar

    Lawyer, grief counselor for you and those babies. So very sorry. 😞

  11. cornbreag Avatar

    Throw the body in the garbage and keep the funeral expenses

  12. sarcasticlovely Avatar

    honey, I have no idea how to comfort you, I am so sorry you are going through this, it sounds absolutely awful. I know you have so much going on, but the first thing you need to do is get a good lawyer and ask about contesting the will.

    it won’t fix everything, but you and your kids deserve more than just enough to cover funeral expenses.

    as for telling the kids that dad is gone, I suggest a family therapist. you could stary seeing someone and have them help you figure out how to break the news.

    good luck hon.

  13. VerityPee Avatar

    Please get proper legal advice that is relevant for your country. In many countries what he has done will not stand. Your children quite likely have a right to some provision and you may do as well.

  14. ilikeowls11 Avatar

    Please talk to a lawyer. You can sue. He has children with you.This is so sad that he didnt even think of his kids

  15. Dr_G_E Avatar

    Get a lawyer. It depends on the jurisdiction, but if a parent disinherits his minor children, the funds for their support will typically come from his estate when he dies. Minor children cannot be abandoned by their parent’s estate.

  16. RemyReflects Avatar

    This is betrayal in its cruelest form and you’re being forced to rise from the ashes while still on fire. Grieve loudly protect your kids fiercely and meet that woman with clarity because you deserve answers not more silence.

  17. Spiritual-TarHeel Avatar

    You need an attorney.

  18. ComprehensiveHand232 Avatar

    Talk to lawyer before meeting AP.

  19. Ok_Diamond_2319 Avatar

    Are you in the US? If so in many states your spouse can’t disinherit you – there’s something called spousal or elective share. You need to chat with an attorney

  20. Hour-Influence2993 Avatar

    Lol. I dont buy it for a minute. This is a 49 minute old account. There are specific laws concerning inheritance when the deceased is married. Hate to be heartless but this doesn’t pass the smell test.

  21. 7fingers2thumb Avatar

    Protest it in the courts

  22. Weary_Minute1583 Avatar

    You need a lawyer. I don’t think he can do that to minor children. Even if it is put into a trust. They are his biological next of kin.

  23. visitor987 Avatar

    Sorry for your lost. Your kids are entitled to SS benefits till they are age 18 on their late father’s account any accounts in both your names are now yours.

    You can contest the will your rights as a spouse very by state so ask on r/legaladvice or better yet talk with a lawyer

  24. rich90715 Avatar

    At a minimum, I would let the mistress pay for his burial. Or just leave his body at the morgue. If he left you nothing and her everything, let his passing be her issue.