I (F46) bought tickets for my husband to see Incubus last weekend in Atlantic City. Got him a room next door to the venue. I stayed home with the kids.
The next morning, I called him. He didn’t answer. Called again 10 minutes later, he answers. Said he was checking out.
Suddenly, my female intuition starts screaming at me. Like, alarm bells in the room but only I can hear them. I check our phone logs and see he was talking to someone on the phone on 3 occasions the day before, on his way to AC. Last phone call was 53 minutes long starting at 11pm.
I call the number. Voicemail, belongs to a female, lest call her Stephanie.
I leave her a polite yet cutting voicemail introducing myself and asking her why she is having conversations with my husband, please call me back and I hope she has a great day.
Next, I call him. Doesn’t answer. I blow his phone up. 10 minutes later, he answers.
I ask who is Stephanie? Silence. I ask again “she’s a friend.” I remind him he doesn’t have a friend named Stephanie. He says he does from before we were together (been together for 15 years). She messaged him on Facebook and they have been catching up. I asked him if she met up with him in AC? Did anything happen? We argue. Said he didn’t see her.
He comes home and I check my credit card bill. Turned out he took a detour and went an hour out of the way on the way to Atlantic City and had lunch in her town. Insists he didn’t see her. Just wanted to check the town out. Which sounds dumb to me. It’s South Jersey, what’s to check out.
Anyway, the week goes by, still insist nothing happened, didn’t see her.
2 night ago, I’m going back through everything, phone logs, credit card bills, phone calls, what I heard during the phone calls. I realize, his phone location the morning he was checking out, was not Atlantic City, but her town. Brain explodes. I stay calm.
I told him I knew he was with her Saturday morning. He mumbles and stumbles over his words. I call him a liar and a cheat. He says that the hotel room was gross, he checked out before the concert and Stephanie had offered her spare room to him. He can drive there after the concert. In a city full of hotels that he could have moved to instead, he opted to drive almost an hour west of AC to this woman’s house and kept it a secret. He said he didn’t want to drive all the way home. Mind you, we are in Woodbridge, an hour and thirty north, maybe less in the middle of the night with no traffic.
He said they hugged when they got there, she showed him to the guest room and he just slept. Left the next morning. He said nothing happened. Completely platonic.
A guy doesn’t drive an hour out of the way for any reason except when they thinking with their penis.
I don’t believe him. What do you think? Would you buy this story?
Comments
> Would you buy this story?
I would not buy this story.
If this was truly what happened why would he lie about it to begin with? Why would he hide his contact with her? I think you should trust your gut on this one.
Absolutely not. He’s been hiding the fact that he has been talking to this woman for who knows how long, red flag #1. Made plans to meet up with her and again, not tell you- red flag #2. Opted to go stay with her (without telling you, again) instead of getting a hotel on his own (the obvious and best option for a married man), red flag #3. His reactions to your questioning aren’t at all reassuring. All the evidence points to him cheating, and he’s doing a shit job of trying to squirm his way out of this.
He’s a liar and a cheater. The fact she never called you back is even more suspicious. The fact he wasn’t upfront about any of this and you had to catch him just confirms he was doing something wrong.
Kudos for your intuition but damn I’m sorry. He’s not even good at being a dishonest cheat. Only you know if this is worth addressing via couples counseling but step one is he has to own the whole truth.
Yup. He cheated. 100%. And if for some reason he didn’t actually get physical with her, he sure lied a lot as if he had. Either way, he violated your trust.
As far as driving an hour or hour and half out of the way, that’s really not that big of a deal; I may be biased as an uber driver, but I drive 200 or more everyday. But sleeping somewhere he didn’t want you to know about… that IS a big deal.
He lied to begin with so no don’t trust this man
You knew the answer the moment you saw his location the morning he checked out.
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN. TRUST YOUR WOMAN INSTINCTS HE IS A DOG AND ALL MEN ARE DOGS YOU KNOW WHAT WE WANT AND THAT’S ALL. TO THE STORY
Usually the simplest reason is the most correct. Sounds like a very convoluted story and makes no sense. Also sounds like you got all the evidence you need to prove that he lied and is not being truthful.
You don’t need any confirmation or photo evidence of the sex act occurring. So sorry you are going through this op.
Yup, he cheated
The fact that he wasn’t honest up front when asked makes it very likely he was not innocent in his activities unfortunately. If he wanted to catch up with a friend why wouldn’t he mention it to you? Also, sleeping over at someone’s house an hour away is suspicious as well. I think you’ve got your answer. There was zero reason for him to lie in the first place unless he was cheating and/or knew you wouldn’t be cool with his plans.
Trust your gut, if he can lie that easily why would you believe he’s telling the truth now lol
OP your intuition is correct. He was NOT upfront with you at all and lied multiple times… I’m sorry hun I think you know what comes next. You will not hear from Stephanie so don’t plan on it
I’m sorry your husband cheated 🙁 that sucks.
If he was being truthful, then he would have told you about not staying at the hotel.
Lie low like you have swallowed the whole story and get a lawyer and your shit together.