So me and my boyfriend have been in a relationship for about 3 months, and we haven’t had our first kiss yet. Not because we don’t like each other, but because the timing is never right. We both have autism and are very keen on planning, so today (once again) the subject of our first kiss came up. We’re low key trying to plan it, even though I told him that something like a first kiss isn’t something you could possibly plan. After talking about it for some time I found out that he’s very very scared of it. Even after I told him I’d ask him in the moment whether he’d want to kiss, he told me he’d probably freeze in place. Something I already expected, because the first time I ever held his hand, he kept texting about how much he liked it.
He’s very shy, and I’m also not a very confident person, but we both really really want to do it. I told him everything would be okay, and next week will be our meet up after 6 weeks of vacation. I really want to do it the first 5 minutes of meeting him again, and I know he’d never try to do anything himself. Nothing I didn’t expect, and nothing I dislike. I’m completely fine with me having to take the initiative! I enjoy it even. I’m somebody who doesn’t like physical contact at all, but his I always like.
The only problem I have now is: how should I do it? Should I kiss him exactly after our first hug, or should I wait after we’re done with our walk?
Ps. If you have any tips on a first kiss, every help is well appreciated!
(Some things to take in consideration)
• were both our first everything
• we’ve been talking about our first kiss for almost 1,5 months now
• as I’ve noticed about him, he REALLY wants it (me too!!)
• it’ll be outside, downtown, we don’t have a house to go to
• consent is KEY in our relationship
Comments
Ask him, “can i kiss you?” If he freezes, tell him all he has to do is nod or shake his head. If he nods, kiss him. If he shakes his head or does nothing, tell him you will ask again later. Then repeat. Eventually you will get there with consent.
Aside it from doing it like…at a funeral?…there’s really no right or wrong way! Doing any intimate thing for the first time is always going to be a little awkward; embrace it, don’t fight it. Don’t try to build a perfect cinematic moment, because it’s unlikely to be that. Be able to communicate openly and laugh about it – if you can do that, the rest will sort itself out. Good luck!
Just kiss him, no guy will rightfully say no to their girl kissing them !
No matter what it’s the first time for the both of you. Naturally you both are going to feel nervous. You both will feel in your hearts when the time is right. Planning your kiss is putting pressure on you both. Let it happen when the time is right. I promise you both will know. It will make your first kiss that much more memorable and special between the two of you.
Hold his hand, the tell him you’re going to kiss him in 10 seconds. Relish the 10 second awkwardness, even smile. Heart ❤️ Good luck, but you won’t need it since the attraction is there. Oh, and maybe report back to us.
I just wanted to say this thread is cute as hell. You’re both over thinking it, and the longer you continue waiting, the more agonizingly detailed you’ll probably continue to be about it, as you stress yourselves out building it up to meet unreasonable expectations.
Try and savor your first kiss. Make it something you’ll always remember, especially if you intend on kissing often. It won’t always feel the same as the first.
I am autistic and 57 yo and has been married 25 years and I still like to plan when to have sex with my wife.
along with all the other advice here, i suggest waiting until during the romantic walk. it’ll be more special than just throwing it at him at the moment of your reunion hug.
find a nice, semi-private spot on the walk to stop. tell him how happy you are to be back together, that he makes you feel very safe, and ask if you can kiss him.
if for some reason he’s not ready, it’s ok. but my bet is, it’ll happen, and i hope you both have a lovely walk and first kiss 💞…