I have only just made this realization not too long ago since I enjoyed all the sexual activities we did (kissing, breast fondling, etc) it didn’t really affect me until years later I was thinking how I hadn’t had my first kiss yet and then I remembered how whenever me and sister were home alone she basically raped me when I was a small child. I believe she might be a major reason why I have a porn addiction now that I’m currently struggling with. The thing is I don’t wanna report it to authorites since she’s is a very sweet and kind person with a thriving life today. Plus I don’t really have the evidence needed to actually punish her. I never even told this story to anyone irl. Mainly due to the fact that I haven’t formed a strong enough bond with somebody to the point where I feel comfortable enough telling them this story.
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I’m sorry that you had to go through that. I don’t know what to say to make you feel better, but if you ever want to talk you are welcome to do so. Please Tacke care of yourself.
I have a very similar experience. My older brothers used to do horrible things to me when I was a kid and I thought I enjoyed them because I didn’t understand. I’m 30 now and still think about it and still have never told anyone. I really really want/wanted to as I got older but now it feels like it wouldn’t even matter and I missed my chance. Don’t be like me. It doesn’t get easier only harder. I totally understand the fear. I still have the fear of tearing my family apart and my brothers are both dead and not even here anymore. I won’t tell you what to do as every SA victim has their own experience. But I wish I’d have said something at your age. Hopefully my experience and thoughts have helped you in some way and I’m so so sorry this happened to you