Me (17F) and my boyfriend (17M) have been together since December. In the beginning, things were amazing—he was sweet, affectionate, constantly texting me, and always telling me how much he loved me.
But lately, I feel like we’re drifting apart. We haven’t had sex yet—partly because we haven’t had the chance, but also because I’m just not fully ready, physically or mentally. He says he really wants to, and while I don’t mind the idea in theory, it’s not a priority for me right now.
He’s more experienced than I am (I’ve only had short, disappointing relationships before), and lately, when we hang out, things tend to get physical really fast. He compliments my body a lot, and although I used to find that sweet, now it’s starting to feel like that’s all he focuses on. I feel less emotionally connected to him than I did at the beginning. I’m scared to set boundaries or say something because I don’t want him to lose interest in me.
I overthink a lot, and I care about him so much. I’m scared of pushing him away. But I also don’t want to feel like I’m just here to be looked at or touched. He still does cute things sometimes, but even our texts lately seem to revolve around sex or sexual comments.
Am I overthinking this? Or is it possible he’s just waiting for sex and doesn’t care as much about me anymore? I don’t want to assume the worst, but I also don’t want to ignore red flags.
TL;DR: My boyfriend and I haven’t had sex yet, but lately he seems more focused on my body than on me as a person. I’m scared he’s only in the relationship for sex. How should I handle this?
Comments
I think you should trust your gut feeling – if your gut is telling you hes only interested in your body than you’re most likely right. This is a great age to start learning to trust your gut, cause if youre a young girl this stuff is going to happen to you sadly.
I wish you the best ♥️
At 17, most boys are more interested in sex than the actual mechanics of a relationship. If you’re not on the same page, you should break up.
Most 17 year old boys are just interested in sex.
He’s going to use you… and leave you. It’s what 17 year old boys do.
He is interested in you physically but if he actually wants more with you, we can’t tell for sure.
You’ll have to learn to trust your gut on relationship things like how guys treat you, and what they say versus what they do, etc and be able to walk away when you need to or compromise or fight for the relationship you need to.
Sounds like he’s not the right boyfriend for you. It’s ok to care about him and also recognise he’s not the right partner for you right now. Trying to change him will just be painful for both of you – when you date, you are looking for someone who wants the same things you want. When you break up you are free to keep looking for that person.
It’s quite easy to find this out, actually. The only way to do this is by setting those boundaries and seeing if he respects them. It’s as simple as “I’m not feeling like it today, let’s just watch a film”. If he tried to make the conversation sexual, shut it down. You’ll soon find out if he’s interested in you or just your body because he’ll stop making any effort if it’s the latter.
Don’t listen to people saying that’s just how teenage boys are. They are focussed on sex, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t capable of loving and caring about someone too. Teenagers are complicated, but they are just people the same as anyone else. They are just as, if not more, likely to develop feelings when in an intimate relationship with another person. Lots of teenage boys care about and respect their girlfriends. Give him a chance to respect you by actually making your boundaries clear.