TLDR: I’m(17NB) travelling with my mom(57F) and I feel like I need to urgently get home, but she didn’t listen to me before and I don’t know what to do.
Hello all, hopefully this makes sense. I posted about this in another subreddit as well, so there might be more details there that i forget to mention here. I’ll try my best to give all relevant details as best as I can.
Posting here instead of teen relationships because it wouldn’t let me post there. Obligatory apology for any weirdness because I’m new and mobile, all that.
I’m 17 and I’m currently travelling with my mother who is 57. It’s relevant to mention that I have pretty bad anxiety and I’m autistic.
We’ve been in the UK for the past 5 or so days, but we’re due to stay for another 10 days. I don’t think I can stay for any longer. I’ve been miserable for all 5 days beforehand, but my mom wouldn’t listen to me when I told her I wanted to go home. I think she figured I was just overwhelmed or something.
I feel like if I stay any longer, I’m going to have a breakdown. I don’t know how to tell my mom without her blaming it on me being hungry, me being tired, that I haven’t taken my meds (I have).
Even if she doesn’t, I’m afraid she’ll start guilting me about it. I’ve been having trouble sleeping in this timezone and so she gave me an ambien last night, which didn’t work. This morning, I told her it didn’t work, and she went on about how she “can’t do anything right” and that she was just trying to help.
I’m hesitant to get my dad involved because my parents have a difficult relationship. They’re not divorced, but they probably should be. I haven’t seen them in the same room together without fighting or starting to fight at least once in years. A couple years ago, my mom had gone travelling by herself and I was having a Bad Day when she got back. We argued, and my dad started recording to use it against her later. Before we left, it felt like my mom had been trying to pick fights with my dad about very little things.
The point is, I’m not sure if I should talk to my dad or not because it might make things worse, but he’s the only other person that could actually help me in this case, and I don’t see a conversation with my mom going well.
Some additional info that I’m not sure is important or not: my cousin texted me about how they think my mom is going through some kind of psychosis because of some concerning posts she’s been making on Instagram. I don’t have Instagram, but the screenshot my cousin sent me felt like she was using my being autistic and queer to get brownie points.
Do I bite the bullet and tell my dad about how I’m feeling? I’ve texted my older brother, but he wouldn’t be able to do anything. My cousin can’t do anything either, and their family wouldn’t be willing to do anything.
I don’t know what to do, but I know if I stay for any longer I’m going to be extremely miserable. Advice would be appreciated. Thank you in advance.
Comments
I think talking to your dad is one option.
How about finding ways of coping where you are? I don’t know what would work exactly for you, but I find some of these things helpful:
Using earplugs or noise cancelling headphones
Communicating in writing instead of talking (I use a Google doc with some stuff prepared on it that I can add to it – big font size for ease).
Not going to busy attractions that are likely to lead to sensory overload. Maybe communicating this in writing might help if your mum is pushy.
Having access to easy food that you don’t have to make decisions about.
Having time out, whether in a bedroom or a bathroom or even with a hoodie over your head (I did that in an airport once it really worked lol).
I’m sure you have your own ideas about how to cope in a difficult environment.