Hello all, I am currently going thru a lot of relationship issues and I’m not entirely sure how to handle this thing.
This past weekend I went back home from college to attend my girlfriend’s senior prom ( I am a freshman in college), which is around a 2 hour drive for me. We have been dating for close to 3 years now. Saturday rolls around and I arrive at her house ready for the night. The minute I walked through the door she seemed to be annoyed and having an issue with things that I did. I asked her if she wanted me to wear my suit jacked for pictures (not a fitted jacket, so it’s a bit bulky), and that led to her not wanting to talk to me the entire 1.5 hour drive to our dinner spot. After that time, she continued to complain about my driving and just a lot of other really small things. I eventually made a point to talk to her before going in for dinner and asked her if something was wrong and if she wanted or needed me to do something to make sure the night went well. It just kinda ended with a lot of I don’t knows and her just saying she wants to have a good prom. The night went on, and we arrived at the dance. She instantly went towards her group of “friends” ( she very openly does not associate or like with these people except for the current softball season ). She shimmied her way into the front of the group for grand march, leaving me stuck behind everyone else while I have nobody to talk to or anybody I know around. After that she started taking pictures with all of her friends, and one of the only people I really know from her school came up and started talking to me. When she saw this she said “oh good ___ you can babysit him” (referring to me). She then told me she was going to dance with her friends and I said ok and I continued to talk to that said person. We talked for around 10 minutes, then I felt bad for making him feel like he had to stick around me. At this point the dance floor was very full and I decided to just go sit in the commons and wait for my gf to come out during a break since I didn’t really want to shuffle around with my hands in my pockets looking for her. At this point I’m a bit upset, so I am mentally resetting so that we can continue on with the night. She eventually came out to the commons at the announcement of some food and asked me to come out and dance, which I turned down as I was trying to reset and not cause any issue. This wasn’t a big deal, so I sat out there for a bit and eventually, I found some of her “friends” and they led me to her. The group was in a big crowd in a circle formation, and I squeezed sort of next to and behind my gf. She faced forward and didn’t really pay any attention to me. I attempted to dance, kinda shuffling around and moving my arms (yk prom stuff) and when she happened to look at me, I wasn’t completely busting a move. She asked why aren’t I dancing and I said I am trying. This went on for a few minutes until she physically stepped in front of me and kicked me out of the group. I tapped on her shoulder and asked what was up and she said “I don’t want you hovering around me” I said I was trying to dance and she just said stop making a scene (I was talking in a normal tone, nothing out of the ordinary). I then decided to just go back out to the lobby since obviously me being around was upsetting to her. Eventually, some of her friends came out and I caught my gf between them and tried talking to her away from the group. I asked again what was up and what she wanted from me, to which she just kept saying I don’t know and stop making a scene. I then told her fine, I am just going to leave so that way you can spend time with your friends and have a good time. She continued to say stop you are making a scene. I told her I could take the car back home (we took her car) and she could call me when she needed to be picked up and she just said no you’re not taking my bag (keys in bag). I said ok, and told her I was leaving anyways. I made sure to tell her that I wasn’t mad, or trying to make her mad, I just wanted her night to go well. I ended up walking around 45 min in around 30 degree weather back to her house. After she got home I attempted to talk to her, to which she just kept saying that I wasn’t dancing, it was my fault that I didn’t feel welcome, and that I ruined her night. She never has acted this extreme in the past and it feels like she was putting up a front for her friends. I really don’t know what to do, as she’s started removing us as her pfp on everything and would even refuse to say I love you when I would say it the past few days. I just don’t know if I fucked up, if she was being selfish, or if we can even move past this becuase I’m worried her mindset is going to be closed when we meet on Friday to discuss things
In the end, she is super super pissed off at me, to a point where we are on a break in our relationship for the week. I don’t know if we will get over this issue because I think she’s so dead set on her mindset that I ruined her night.
Comments
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Wtf.
It doesn’t sound like this had anything to do with some ‘mistake’ of yours.
She just isn’t into you anymore, and is trying to get you to break up with her, so she isn’t the bad guy.
Maybe it’s because she’s graduating(?) and entering a new world, and you’ll still be in college.
In any case, she’s being a dick AND a cunt about it.
Just move on and block.
Dump her my guy, it sounds like she wants you to and I promise there are greener pastures in college
I encourage you to respect yourself more. The amount of self blame you’re having for someone who treated you so shitty on an important night is unhealthy. Please realize you are worth good communication and at MINIMUM respectful treatment. It seems like she wants to break up, and you can’t force her to change her mind, but it doesn’t mean you did anything wrong.
This all sounds very high schoolie, and her behavior was immature and disrespectful towards you. Sounds like a horrible time for you. She f’d up. Maybe a break will be good, and you can reassess this relationship. Best of luck to you.
Well wasn’t she just a princess?! For whatever reason, she was determined to blame you for cracks that occurred when the Earth cooled off. I wouldn’t spend any time wondering where things went wrong; just be glad she showed this side of her so that you knew the best thing to do was flee!
Does she even like you at this point? I’d wager not. She seems to be acting very immature. I’d honestly suggest moving on.
Instant dump. Don’t take this level of disrespect ever.
Dude sorry but it’s time to move on. It doesn’t sound like she cares about you at all. You are young, enjoy your time in college.
She sounds immature, and her being with her friends gave you the cold shoulder and making excuses not to talk cause it’s causing a scene. Break up and forget about her.
I wouldn’t waste 2 minutes of your time trying to make this work….that would be 2 minutes of your life you’ll never get back….and that there my friend is the sad part of the story.
I’m not there so I can’t quite tell, and we only see things from your perspective and you’ve mentioned multiple times with key words that made it seem like you’re doing as best and as logical as you can…. But maybe, based on your stories…what can be considered as a ‘fuck ups’ in her eyes are:
– Turning down her dance invitation during your reset moment.
When she came out to ask you to dance, you said no because you were still trying to cool off. That’s totally valid, but from her perspective (especially if she was looking for a peace offering or trying to reengage), this might’ve felt like rejection.
– Saying you were going to leave mid-event
You told her you were going to walk home so she could enjoy the night with her friends. Again, this was not said in a mean way but it might have come off as dramatic or like you were trying to make a point.
-Trying to talk things out multiple times when she wasn’t ready
To someone who’s either overwhelmed, annoyed, or trying to perform a certain version of herself for others (it’s prom night, peeps), your attempts might have felt like pressure or confrontation, even if it was calm and gentle.
Otherwise, I don’t know how ‘fucked up’ things have been. Another one, when you mentioned she criticized your driving, I uh…I have to admit…some young guys that I know when I was still dating around your age and in my 20s…they…uh..were kind of scary drivers in fact. Idk that was but it might contribute to her being really annoyed to begin with?
Maybe she also is considering to break up with you. Since she’s going to college too later on, right? I would ask her when you guys meet what she wants or where she sees you guys stand. Maybe she does want to break up with you that’s why she’s in such a mood. You can even ask her to elaborate where you went wrong in her eyes. She needs to tell you, you’re not a mind reader (I’m assuming you’re truly this vision of calm-collected-reasonable maybe with a slight irritation as you seem to portrayed yourself mostly in your post).
Respect yourself enough to walk out of the room if you feel disrespected. Period.
I am 28 years old. I was once your age. This may feel like a huge deal right now but it’s not. You need to go off to college and forget this girl. You will meet other girls and work on building your career. Trust me, you will look back on this when you’re older and think of how silly and immature of a relationship that was.
Your relationship is coming to an end brother. It sounds like maybe she is set on having a hot girl summer and then going to college to do her own thing. It also sounds like she was intentionally making prom a fiasco for you from the jump so she could maybe use the shitty night as the excuse for parting ways. Just tell her you will always care about her and to hyu if she ever wants to hang out. Don’t chase her or beg her to reconsider. Be nice. Be cool.
This relationship is over
Sounds to me like she may have found somebody else and just doesn’t want to tell you… Leave her, dude. You deserve so much better.
She just wanted a date for prom. Dump her. That whole night sounds like a swift kick in the crotch.
You didn’t do anything wrong. For whatever reason, she’s fallen out of love and isn’t interested in you anymore. It sucks, I’m so sorry, but it’s not unusual for a teenage relationship. Block her and move on. College is a wonderful place to get involved in the social scene and flirt with girls. You’ll eventually move on from your gf, and you’ll find someone else, who LOVES you and wants you around her friends and doesn’t treat you like shit.
5 bucks says she met somebody else
Oh wow, went through this exact situation back then, just let me tell you, you’re young, you’ll get through this
She had a stick up her ass as soon as you got to her house. She already wants to break up with you but you made plans for the prom so she was stuck with you. This is not your fault!! Quit blaming yourself. You need to break up and move on. There are SO MANY girls in college you need to meet and go out with. Have fun, you are young. The college years will be the best years of your life.
She isn’t into you anymore and did and still treating you like crap. Break up with her. She is immature and mean. Go be a college freshman and have fun! Not worth going back to high school, once you’ve left. Plenty of girls that are not ass holes.