Before he came in my life i was a very happy individual – a great social life, felt safe with family etc. When I started dating him (been 1y 4m) everything collapsed.
Through this year I’ve felt like everything has absolutely went to shit. I started remembering childhood trauma and all sorts of things, I can’t look my mother in the eyes as I used to or I will start sobbing. He is the sweetest guy imaginable, but this time has been absolute hell for me, this is how he explains my emotions: ive been bottling up so much in my life that suddenly when i have a person to tell my daily struggles to, it’s all being revealed from my subconscious. It’s all true.
I can’t go on like this, I will seek a therapist asap and talk to my family, that’s my only hope. Yet, I can’t seem to feel like he’s telling the absolute truth, maybe it’s just him who’s the problem and maybe he has brought these things in my life, cause not once I had ever thought so deep about certain things. He keeps encouraging me, he’s so loving and thinks longterm, yet I don’t know if he’s right about this relationship.
What should I do in regard to how I feel in this relationship, maybe i am in denial and that is how relationships work?
TL;DR
Since I’ve been with bf ive opened up so much and its hurt me so much i don’t know if i should walk away from this relationship.
Comments
In the end, only one person in your life can screw up your life. You. Who you have around you and how you decide to process is ultimately your decision.
so… you want to break up with you boyfriend because he is giving you a safe space to open up and is helping you work through underlying issues and trauma?
Sounds like he is a great guy and you need to go to therapy
Im sorry what? I don’t understand why or how he screwed up your life. For showing you truths about your family? Or is he planting seeds that couldnt quite possibly be true? Cause if its the first one, is that bad that your boyfriend is showing you why things were fucked up in your past?
You’re both young. He is probably unaware of how to respond to things regarding trauma. Or might have his own issues talking about it. Especially true if he does care about you.
You need to have a nice discussion about how things affect each of you and how each of you can better support each other.
Also talk about the enjoyment you want to share with each other.
Play relaxation and feel safe are great for trauma. As is being heard and understood
It’s very hard to ruin someone’s life in such a short time. Yes, that’s a short time.
You haven’t mentioned anything that he did wrong. You’ve just said that your family ruined your life and he helped you understand that.
Sounds like you have someone who has your best interests in mind, and it’s not your family.
Therapy!
Therapy is needed here.
It sounds like from this you are .. experiencing buried memories come up, but only with your boyfriend?
Is it like, stuff that you’re saying and he’s like, tell me more, or is it like, he is asking you if you ever experienced x, y, z with certain people in your family?
life’s life and the world is what it is, living day to day and leting past stay behind is valid and not everything needs to be highly processed. While learned behaviours and patterns will stay with you, you don’t need a detailed insights and internalized emotions to change into what and who u’d like to see yourself as. Your age also correlates with times of independant self discovery, its likely even without him you’d stumble onto the very same truths. U can postpone your grief and distract urself with lesser things untill you’re ready for that battle.