After I [18F] was officially diagnosed with early onset schizophrenia, it became really hard not to repeat what happened in my kitchen. I explained what happened in my kitchen on my other confession post. Once I began to take medication, everything seemed okay at first. I thought that, at the time, I got better. In March, I asked my mom and dad if I could drive to get something to eat. They said yes, and I went outside. In my car, I thought I heard something. Originally, I thought it was the radio. But it wasn’t. I looked forward, and I saw my mom’s tree. I live in a spaced out neighborhood, so my neighbors aren’t close, and my driveway is big. When I looked at my mom’s tree, I saw two figures standing there. I thought it was my mom and dad, but it wasn’t.
It’s weird, but they looked like Chinese paper dolls. You can look it up, but I’m a little scared of them. They were moving up and down. I then heard the voice again. It was telling me that they were going to hurt my mom and dad. I was scared. I couldn’t look away. They were moving and twisting. I thought they were really going to hurt my parents. I then slammed the gas, and I hit my mom’s tree. I got hit by the air bag. My mom and dad ran out, and helped me out of the car. I looked back at the car. It’s okay. I didn’t hit the tree too hard, but it was enough for the air bags to come out (it’s an old car). I had a bloody nose. Anyway, I ended up changing medication. The one I’m on now if so much better. I hate that I hurt my parents, their tree, and car.
My mom and dad got rid of the car. I can’t drive anymore. They think that I hit the tree due to the trauma I had at the kitchen. I didn’t have the heart to tell them about the Chinese paper dolls/hallucination I saw. Now, I’m scared that something like this might happen again. Since I’m on a new medication, I should be getting better. Maybe.
Comments
I remember your kitchen post, I read it last night, thank you for being so open and sharing these scary times with us! I don’t have any advice, I just want to offer support and love from afar. I hope your new medication works out better for you, and you don’t have to take the advice that I’m about to give but I’m gonna say it just in case. I think you should tell your parents about what you saw, just so that they can be fully aware of what to look out for with this new medication just in case it doesn’t go well. You should be honest and transparent with them so they can help you. That’s just my opinion, of course you don’t have to take it, I just want whatever’s best and safest for you in the future ♥
I’m so sorry, that is so scary!
While it isn’t exactly the same as schizophrenia, my partner deals with severe chronic depression, and the difficulty of managing meds can be so hard. Do you have a therapist you go to? We’ve found that sometimes even when the meds have been working, sudden stress or even just building a tolerance can make his symptoms harder to manage.
Be honest with your parents about what happened, and if you can, get a family therapist who understands schizophrenia to help you all make some plans about how to cope with your symptoms. You didn’t hit a tree on purpose, you purposefully made a choice to protect the people you love, it just so happened that your brain lied to you about what that tree was.
Driving probably isn’t an option for you right now, especially since onset has the greatest ammount of variance, and that’s okay. You’ll get there in time. What matters most is that you come home safe, and the best way to make sure that happens is to work with your team (family, close friends, and medical personel) to be healthy and well. Tell your parents what happened, humans aren’t built to face these things alone
Wait how do I get to ur other post?
U should be open abt these hallucinations to ur doctor and parents to get more help
I fucking hate that anything other tush sympathy for you will get me downvoted to hell. So here you go… 🫂. There’s your hug.
This has to be one of the most difficult things to be diagnosed with. I am so very sorry that you go through things like this. Please keep on your journey of treatment in whatever form that may take and know that you are so so brave.
Its ok to be nervous to tell your parents this, I would be too! I would make sure you are being honest with your doctors though, that will help them make sure you are on the right medication. I’m sorry this is happening to you and sending you positive thoughts 🩷 I hope this new medicine helps a lot!
I’m so sorry you have to deal with this. My brother was diagnosed as psychotic after struggling with hallucinations. It took 2 years of trying different medications and staying in the mental hospital. But he is doing so much better now. It can take forever to find the right combo of meds. Just stay honest with your doctor you don’t have to tell your parents but they need to know to help you properly