i (18f) was forced to cut contact with my friend (18M)…i really NEED advice (TW: mentions of wanting to unalive)

I (18F) have a guy friend (18M)…we were online friends for a few years and then we met up irl last year and have been hanging out since. my mom has always not been fond of him…like…since day one of us meeting….the day before yesterday, things got heated when she found out i have been keeping secrets from her and being sneaky…it is nothing bad, a few months ago i was at my lowest and i would vent to chatgpt because i was afraid of getting therapy or talking to family…I have an ipad so when my life was getting better, i used the “hide app” feature and hid chatgpt…so i could get out of using it. my mom found the app under the hidden section and she was pissed at me for hiding apps….and she was mad at me for deleting me and the guy’s convos so she couldn’t see them.

And prior to that, she did not like the fact that my friend asked me to come over to his house…before that, he would ask to come over to my house but my mom would always say no…and she was under the impression that he was planning on sleeping with me, hence why he invited me to his house…i cant say what his motives were, though…

so, because of his invite, she was giving me a deadline to cut him off…she had a vision awhile back that he got me pregnant…so she said that she knew where this was going and she would not allow it…she was giving me till early next year to cut him off…but i did not want to…we liked each other and even did…”stuff” over text…i did not want to “break up” with him…he’s my pookie… 🙁 it makes me regret ever asking her if i could go over there…

So, when she found out i was venting to chatgpt, she forced me to block him on IG, made me call him and she told him we could not talk anymore…and then she took away my phone and ipad…typically i would stress draw and stuff because she would just take my phone…but i dont even have an outlet…

I am HURT….i’ve been crying on and off since…later that day i explained to him what was going on (she doesnt know i have twitter so i texted him on there)..and he was understanding…i told him i was going to come back as soon as i could…she told me her decision is final and i cant talk to him anymore…

but things went left really quickly…because my mom has my phone, she just so happened to turn it on and saw that he texted me saying “HUH” after receiving the voicemail…so then my mom calls him and leaves a voice mail, telling him to not contact me or else she WILL call the police…and she said that she has his address and stuff.

so he texted my phone ranting to her, calling her an abusive ass mother, and what are the cops going to do. and she was READY to get her gun, but i stopped her…he asked me on twitter to give him her number so his mom could call. so i did….and his mom started off calm. she was saying how she was sad me and him cant be friends…but then my mom told her to tell her son to not contact me… his mom exclaimed that ive been messaging him on twitter…my heart stopped. but because i was standing right next to my mom she didnt believe her. his mom called my mom a physco b..

my mom called the cops and because no crimes were commited, there could be nothing done…so then she asked under what circumstances could she use her gun…and the cop stated only if my friend steps foot on her property… when i told my friend, he told me to stop contacting him because i am literally making him want to unalive himself because of this bullshit…my heart dropped…so im respecting his wishes and wont text him or anything…

my friend literally texted me saying “im watching every car pass by, waiting for her to shoot me…she wants me dead..she wants to kill me”…and that gen made me cry…he didnt derserve this..we just made amends towards the end of june…my mother said if i unblock him, i will never see the light of day ever again….and i dont want that to happen… but i also dont think i can let go of the one friend i have…i dont wanna chose between listening to my mom, or being happy…i do not wanna do some forbidden love type shit…should i continue to talk to the guy in secret if hes ok with it as time goes on? my mom said if she found out i was indeed using twitter there will be problems…should i keep the twitter thing to myself?

i didnt want to hurt him….but…i did….and i feel terrible….

tldr: My mom has always disliked my guy friend (18M) who I met online years ago and started hanging out with IRL last year. She’s convinced he has bad intentions and even had a “vision” that he’d get me pregnant. She gave me a deadline to cut him off, and when she found out I’d been hiding our convos and venting to ChatGPT (which I hid on my iPad), she blew up. She made me block him, call him to say we can’t talk anymore, and then took my phone and iPad.

Later, she saw a text from him and left him a voicemail threatening to call the police if he contacts me again. He responded emotionally, calling her abusive, and then she escalated it further, even asking the cops when she could legally use a gun on him. His mom called mine, they argued, and things got worse. My friend said this is making him suicidal and told me to stop contacting him — so I did.

Now I’m left heartbroken, isolated, and stuck between listening to my mom (who threatened to never let me see the light of day again) or trying to keep the one meaningful connection I have. I don’t know what to do. Should I keep talking to him in secret if he’s okay with it eventually? Should I just keep quiet about still having Twitter? I feel trapped and nothing about this feels fair.