Hello reddit,
I’m 18 and ive been with my girlfreind for over threeyears now. on paper shes pretty great, shes funny, sweet, always does little things for me, we laugh, kiss, hangout and were pretty happy together. I would call her textbook perfect.
I keep having these dobuts about wether i actually love her. Or if im just staying in this relationship because its “comftorable” and “familiar”. Ive never been in any other serious relationship (other than small 2 week relationships when i was 13) so I don’t even know what love is supposed to feel like. I just know whtat sometimes I feel numb around her, like theres no spark. We’ve broken up before (3 times) but always get back together the next day. Right now were on a semi serious break, minimal contact.
One of the biggest issues ive noticed is a maturity gap. She tends to exxagerate things, get overly emotional, and takes stuff out of context. She also constantly compares herself to other girls and asks if I think they’re prettier. I lie and tell her no to not hear it, but I wish she just wouldn’t ask in the first place. I don’t ask her if guys on tv look better then me cause thats kinda weird and a bit insecure yk.
To make things even more confusing there’s a girl ive been platonically talking too lately whos super cool. i would never cheat, but i’d be lying if i didnt say there was a little spark there, she reminds me of me and my gfs current honeymoon phase.
Now im just stick in this loop of “Am i falling out of love” “Am I overthinking?” “Am I wasting time?” “Am i scared because im leaving something good?”. I dotn want to hurt my gf or throw away something that could work, or someone who wouldve been the love of my life, but i also dont want to stay because im afraid i wont find someone else whos this attractive and caring. She deserves someone whos 100% in and I cant say i am.
How do you know when its time to let go? I appreciate any advice.
TLDR-Dont know if i love my gf anymore because theres no “spark”
Comments
You are too young to stay in a relationship that doesn’t feel right. If you leave now, you literally have the rest of your life to find someone who’s that attractive or caring, or more.
Plus how do you know what you really, truly love, or what really brings you that lasting spark if you never get to know others? The purpose of dating when you’re young is more about learning about yourself and what you need to be happy long-term, than it is about finding someone hot and nice and getting married. There are tons of hot and nice people in the world.
>One of the biggest issues ive noticed is a maturity gap. She tends to exxagerate things, get overly emotional, and takes stuff out of context. She also constantly compares herself to other girls and asks if I think they’re prettier. I lie and tell her no to not hear it, but I wish she just wouldn’t ask in the first place.
Lmao this one ain’t unique to her. You’ll learn…
But yeah don’t get too caught up in your first relationship. I invested too much time into mine when it was obvious things weren’t working and I regret it so much now.