A few months ago, with some encouragement from friends, I decided to start talking to girls again like that after a pretty bad breakup. I’m heading to college in a few months, so I figured it’d be best to try finding someone to talk to where I’m going rather than where I live, which is very far. I’ve never been much of a hookup or short-term kind of guy. So I found someone I thought was very pretty, hit them up, and began talking. It was supposed to be lighthearted and casual before term started, so I could feel them out.
It didn’t end up going that way. I can’t share details because, well, personal, but she’s basically everything that I was ever looking for, and I’ve fallen hard. Like, scarily. I’ve had girlfriends before, but I’ve never felt this way about anyone. We’ve talked every single day for two months, and I’m starting to get legitimately scared over how strong these feelings are, and I don’t know how to deal with them.
On the one hand, this is patently ridiculous. We’ve never even called on the phone, just texted an obscene amount. We’ve never met in person, being so far away, although we did sort of set up plans to. On the other, I’ve never felt conversation feel so right, and I’m scared to death that she’ll suddenly up and vanish and I’ll be left with this hole in my heart. Last night, she took a little longer to respond than usual and I literally could not sleep. I feel like I need some sort of security from her to let me know that she’s interested in something too, which I feel like she might be but also I am far too insecure to actually think that she is.
I can’t decide whether I want to torture myself for the next few months until we meet in person and risk never pursuing a real relationship with this wonderful woman who’s somehow wormed her way into my heart, or just bite the bullet and let her know that I want some sort of reassurance from her, which I’m scared to death to do.
If you need any clarifying details, I will be happy to provide them. Please, I just want a voice of reason, because I’m in no condition.
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Chill and go with the flow
Take things slow my man. I understand the excitement of a feeling that’s rushing through you. And I also understand the fear that you have. But yoy have to view this realisticly, you’ve never met, so the feelings might not have been reciprocated the same way. The best thing you can do right now is the keep doing thing and say the right thing if or when you get to talk to her again in the hope of that things could go well for the next month or so till you get a chance to meet up.
Maybe talk to her in a call first. That seems like a reasonable next step