I’m currently in a long-ish term, committed relationship, nearing 2 years. We started in person but became long distance a little more than 5 months ago because her parents made her move out, so she moved to one side of the country with friends and I moved to the other side, with some family. However this family is abusive and my living situation is inhuman and I need to leave by September.
We’ve been planning to reunite by the end of this year, with me moving to her area and getting an apartment together as soon as possible.
But I’ve also had the option made available to me to move in with my sibling and their family in a different state. I cannot decide which would be best for me, or what would make me truly happy…
Moving to partner-
Pros: I love her very much, we make music together and are artistically intertwined, we semi share finances, I’m extremely happy when in person with her, we both get material and emotional benefits from being together like we share clothes and our instruments, etc.
Cons: my family does not approve of our relationship, I don’t like the place she lives in, I don’t know anyone there and don’t like her friends/community very much, getting a job is already proving to be difficult for her and will be for me too, getting an apartment seems very hard, I’d need a car to work there because it’s not walkable but I don’t have my license or a car
Moving with sibling:
Pros: safe place for me to stay as long as I want, her and her family are wonderful, I enjoy the location enough, I’m able to do things that make me happy enough, I’ll be more guaranteed safety and happiness there but I’m not sure how far that will go
Cons: I can’t live with my partner who I love and want a future with, I can’t make music with her or share our stuff, she will be very unhappy if I decide I’m not ready to move to her and instead move to my sibling, I’ll still need to learn to drive and buy a car which will be more difficult to do because I won’t have her there to help teach me
I really can’t decide which option will actually be the best for me. Moving to my partner will fulfill my relationship and has the potential to fulfill some of my life goals but also is a gamble with the job and housing markets, which would make me very miserable. Moving to my sibling guarantees safety and stability while I get on my feet but also disconnects me from my social life.
I need advice as a young person, how can I help decide what truly calls to me and will be best for me?
TL;DR- I’m young and in a long distance relationship but I can’t decide what my next steps are and where I should go
Comments
Future > partners when you’re as young as you are.
Especially considering if you moved to your GF and it didn’t work out, you’d have nowhere to go. Stuck in a town you don’t actually want to be in with no friends to crash with and possibly no job.