Hello. I met my gf of six months at work my first semester of college. We clicked really well, but we are different people. Wildly different. She is into studying things like psychedelics and insists on taking me out every weekend for ‘adventures’. I like to stay home and read classic lit. There’s nothing wrong with her way of living, this is just to say that we are different.
She didn’t have a place to stay for the summer, sonI offered up my studio apartment (very small). We have signed a lease together starting in August for a larger apartment, so I figured it would be a nice trial run. Trial is certainly the right word, because I am exhausted. She leaves a mess wherever she goes. And when she does tidy, she just plops her things into a pile. She has spaces for her things, and I don’t care what she does in those spaces. My issue is when it bleeds into communal spaces, like dirtying the kitchen and leaving everything in the bathroom a mess. I am just so tired of asking. She has depression and autism, so I have tried to be patient and talk and work with her to find solutions, but nothing is working. Nothing I try. I have an OCD diagnosis myself, so I warned her before she stayed here that I needed her to at least try and keep things similar to how I had them.
She is also just very hard to read. I do love her, and she can be absolutely perfect sometimes. But I know that relationships are not all sunshine and roses. I just don’t know if this is something I can handle much longer. She keeps talking about the rest of our lives, and I feel so trapped by this lease. Not to mention she paid off an $800ish loan of mine I didn’t ask her to. So, now I also feel that if we split, I will be held for that money, which I do not have, and will likely not have for some time.
Guys, I don’t know. I think I was stupid and in love. I am young and dumb and impressionable, and now I am way in over my head. I haven’t had a day of true rest without something agitating me or disrupting my once sacred routine in months.
Is this worth saving? If not, how do I even go about breaking up without absolutely ruining our lives?
TL;DR: My (19m) gf, (20f) and I share a small studio apartment. She is messy. She won’t change. We are very different. We signed a lease together for a year, and I feel trapped.
Comments
Well unfortunately if you’re having these thoughts it means it’s probably not going to work unfortunately. You have 2 options. The first is end it ASAP and spare yourself a whole load of pain. The second is drag it out because you’re scared of the consequences before you eventually do it anyways.