I’m not sure how I should go about this, honestly. This is the first post I’ve made, so I’m really nervous. I’ll just try my best, I suppose.
I (19M) have been with my boyfriend (19M) for almost two and a half years and we were friends for three years before that, so we’re very close and, otherwise, if it were someone else, I wouldn’t hesitate talking with him about this. I honestly love him. We’ve set boundaries, talked about out future since I’ll be 20 soon and I plan on going to college, once I have enough money, and have done similar things of this fashion. My first instinct was to tell him about this. I feel horrible not telling him, but I’m scared he might get angry (Rightfully so, I wouldn’t blame him.) or upset enough that he will shortly stop communicating with me or request space, which might develop into us breaking up. I met his sister about a year and a half after I met him due to circumstances I will not disclose for fear of crossing a boundary between one or both of them. After hanging out with her, I started developing a crush on her. I honestly didn’t call it that before. I just assumed I had mistook platonic love and fondness for romantic attraction. I tried dismissing it, but it won’t go away and keeps getting worse. I’d turn to our mutual friends, but since we’re all so close, I feel like one of them might tell them or wouldn’t want to be my friend anymore. or things would get weird between us. I don’t want to lose any of them, but that feels inevitable now. I would never cheat on him, especially with his sister, and I feel like telling her this would make us drift apart. I really want to do the right thing, but I don’t know what to do. I feel like he’ll hate me. I know at least part of this is due to my insecurity, but I can’t help but get anxious and distressed.
TL;DR – I have a crush on my boyfriend’s sister and I want to tell them and fix this or at least talk about it with him and possible courses of action, but I don’t know how to go about that or what to say.
Comments
In my personal opinion telling him that would be a little messed up you should just leave him and move on from it all including your crush I don’t think it’s worth ruining relationships between family members
Crushes in relationships are normal. I personally would keep it to myself and do everything I could to avoid this person. Because if you don’t, your feelings will only become stronger and can lead to emotional cheating. I strongly recommend not talking to the sister at all, if you tell her that would be crossing a line. Do you have a therapist you can talk about it with?
I would keep that to yourself – or break up with your boyfriend. Either way, this is something that you should move on from if you want to continue a relationship with your bf..